Julian2

I booked a domestic flight for next month a day late recently. Not only did it cost me 750B to change it , the new one was a more expensive flight. I've done some specular stuff in the past though, got the Dover to "Calais" ferry once and ended up in Belgium.

Was the Senator Grant Tambling?

Senate's a life time job here if your party put you on top of the ticket at election time. Everyone votes 1-2-3 Liberal or 1-2-3 Labour so if your number 1 or 2 and there's 5 seats and the vote usually splits around 50/50 you have to be caught doing something gay to miss out. A former prime minister called them "unrepresentative swill".

Ten years ago I'd have laughed at that.

In my time Australian local government elections and those for the states' upper house were only for rate payers.... property owners.

Crips and Bloods: Made in America. Seriously good documentary.

An old joke but it's always good to remember how devious the Scots are. ...................................................................................... A man in Scotland calls his son in Edinburgh the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; thirty years of misery is enough.†“Dad, what are you talking about?†the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,†the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you can call your sister in Aberdeen and tell her †Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they’re getting divorced,†she shouts. “I’ll take care of this.†She calls home immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?†and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,†he says, “they’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way.â€

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists? I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening." The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back. At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa! Who knew? One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that aborigines is not the correct answer either. There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets. You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache." Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook.. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 f**king Muslims have added me as a friend! Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard." The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.

Judge denies disability claim for firefighter injured in fight over Elvis' birthday NEW YORK _ New York's highest court denied a disability claim resulting from a beer-fueled fight over Elvis Presley's birthday that ended with one New York City firefighter breaking a chair over the back of another, who then filed for disability retirement. The New York Court of Appeals, in a 7-0 decision Tuesday, said that Robert Walsh wasn't eligible for an “accident disability retirement†because of the fight, but instead must settle for a lower-paying ordinary disability retirement. In doing so, the court upheld two lower court rulings. Walsh cannot receive accident disability retirement payments “unless it can be determined as a matter of law on the record that the disability was the natural and proximate result of a service-related accident,†the court said. “That is plainly not the case here, where (Walsh's) injuries resulted solely from an altercation with a fellow firefighter rather than his performance of any job duties.†The fight occurred in December 2003 when, according to court documents, firefighters at Ladder Company 76 on Staten Island were sitting around the firehouse kitchen, drinking beer out of plastic cups and arguing about the date of Presley's birthday. The dispute escalated and, eventually, Walsh accused a colleague of taking overtime from other firefighters. Another firefighter, Michael Silvestri, threatened to hit Walsh with a chair. Walsh remained seated with his back to Silvestri, who picked up the chair and hit Walsh, knocking him to the floor. Silvestri punched Walsh in the face until others stopped it, according to court documents. Walsh said he suffered neurological damage that prevented him from returning to duty and filed for “accident disability retirement.†The Fire Department Pension Fund board of trustees denied his claim and instead awarded him the ordinary disability retirement. Walsh challenged the determination, saying his injuries weren't the result of a “normal foreseeable risk of the work he performed,†according to court documents. Two lower courts denied his claim. Information wasn't immediately available about the monetary difference in the two types of disability payments. http://www.inforum.com/event/article/id/344717/group/News/

Just think, politics could have lost a great Republican...

They were doing their best to cut down all the trees in Tasmania as well but those dirty commie greenies stopped 'em. I don't think greed follows any ideological pattern.

Check the spelling of some of the new babies names in the (former) working class areas of Australia these days.

It was probably meant to be spelled Joanna.

1. Joe says to Paddy, "Close your curtains the next time you're having sex with your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says, "Well the joke's on them, ‘cos Oi wasn't even at home yesterday." 2. Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what’re ye doing?" Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been gettin’ on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended Oi do something sexy to attracter.....†3. Paddy says to Mick, “Oi'm ready for a holiday, only this year Oi'm going to do it a bit different. T’ree years ago Oi went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago Oi went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year Oi went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.†Mick asks, “So what are you going to do this year?†Paddy replies, “Oi'll take her wit’ me!" 4. Paddy goes to America for the 1st time, walking up 5th Avenue . He sees a building on fire and rushes over to see people stuck at the 4th floor windows. He shouts up, “Oi'm Paddy-John Dara O'Neill, the Oirish rugby player! Jump and Oi'll catch ye’sâ€. A girl jumps out and Paddy catches her, a guy jumps and Paddy gets him too. Then a black guy jumps and Paddy lets him hit the concrete, then shouts up, “Come on now folks, there's no point t’rowin down the burnt ones!! 5. Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year." Mick says, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." 6. Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: "What if one explodes, before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two." 7. Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him, "Did you find the shampoo?" Paddy says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and Oi’ve just feckin’ wet mine."

Agreed, in the looks department they are definitely a class above the average Scots lass. This explains the large number of cheerful Scotsmen to be found in places like Pattaya and Angeles city.

I found alcohol harder to give up, I stopped smoking about twenty years ago and never think of it now. Booze is slowly creeping back into my life though. A glass of wine... a Scotch in the evening... sneaky sneaky...

He drinks, he says, 'because it makes other people less boring.(Hitchens). I like that....

His legacy lives on in the Gingrich GOPAC memo. http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article4443.htm

What an excellent tool Google is. Put 'define an English person' into your search box. The truth and nothing but the truth.

Yes, I watched it when it first appeared on the pirate DVD scene. Jeff Bridges is no John Wayne, but then John Wayne wasn't any Jeff Bridges either. Currently collecting Burt Reynold spaghetti westerns.. now all I need is a little time to watch them.

Dobie Gray died this week. His hit records included "The 'In' Crowd" in 1965, and "Drift Away", which was one of the biggest hits of 1973, sold over one million copies, and remains a staple of radio airplay.

When he and Steve Wozniak earned their first money (Steve acquired the contract, Wozniak did the work) Jobs defrauded Wozniak, by not telling him the full amount earned and by not paying him the 50% they had agreed upon. Wozniak learnt about this only decades later. Sorry, this is the final proof of true political conservatism...

If I want a good bottle I'd rather pay the extra and have it straight away than go to the bother of cellaring it for years.

Every young person should hear this story. Older folks can really be such inspirations to our youth!