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jonjon058 last won the day on May 4 2013

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  1. My friends and family would sometimes ask about my preference for Asian girls. I never gave it much thought and so I would shrug and say “that is just what I likeâ€Â. Similar to liking a certain type of music, or having a preference for a certain type of food. It isn’t to say that I found all Asian women attractive. Among Asians girls there was a certain look that I was drawn to. And, it wasn’t that I didn’t find any non-Asian girls attractive. There were some that I definitely did. But I would have to admit that even those non-Asian girls I was most attracted to tended to have the “Asian†features I found appealing. So I began to think whether this preference was really more than just that, a preference. Was it what some friends referred to as an “Asian fetishâ€Â? The term conjured up images of the older guys who would approach my girlfriends with “Konnichiwaâ€Â. The politically correct would even go so far as to say that an Asian fetish is a form of racism. Although that always seemed to me to be taking things too far to expect an equal opportunity approach to dating. Following that line of reasoning, would I be considered sexist for preferring to date women over men? Despite my ability to argue the point, I still wondered where my attraction to Asian girls started. I gave this some serious thought and began by allowing the possibility that this was a fetish of some sort and then asking where any sort of fetish originates. My feeling is that it usually has to do with what you were exposed to during that time in your life when you were just becoming sexually aware. So I tried to remember if there were any Asian women I knew during that time that could have left an impression on me. I moved a lot as a kid but during that impressionable part of my childhood, I lived in a mostly Italian-American middle-class neighborhood in Brooklyn. I had not really thought about that period of my life much. My father was an abuse drunk and there weren’t many happy memories to reminisce over. But as I thought back to try and pin point a moment when I first thought about an Asian girl in a sexual way, a memory of a hot summer night came back to me. It was late, but my parents were fighting as they often did. I went to the backyard to get away from the yelling and also to escape any stray violence that might come my way. In the backyard we had a huge oak tree which I often climbed, always trying to gather enough courage to make it to the very top and always getting too scared by the time I was looking down at the roof of our two story house to go any further. Under the full moon that night I decided I would climb to the very top. If I fell, I didn’t care. Perhaps part of it was the “they’ll be sorry when I am dead†attitude of an angry kid. But mostly I think that it was knowing that this was the one thing I could do that would make me forget about the chaos going on inside my house. I pushed myself to the very highest point and then some. I can only imagine the size of the branch that could barely hold me at that age. I also remember feeling much better about life and myself and suddenly caring about dying as I started to make my way down. But as I lowered myself to a safer branch I noticed the open second story window of our neighbor’s house. The second floor was rented to a guy who just returned from Vietnam and who had brought back a pretty Vietnamese girl. At the time they seemed much older, but I am sure they were probably early 20's. They must not have had air conditioning because they left the window wide open to try and get some breeze on that hot humid night. And from my high perch, I could see into their apartment where the Vietnamese girl was preparing for bed. I don’t know how long I sat there watching her, I just remember the feeling of seeing my first glimpse of a beautiful semi-naked women. Was she the one that inspired my future preference for Asian women? I guess I can’t really know for sure. I didn’t develop a fetish for climbing trees and peeping on women. Although, I will admit that I did climb that particular tree a lot more that summer and mostly at night when the Vietnamese girl had her window open. Fortunately, I had not yet discovered masturbation because climbing the tree was dangerous enough with two hands, and I would hate, for the rest of my life, having to explain exactly how I became a paraplegic. So if there was an episode that inspired my Asian preference that might have been it. But for all I know, it could have been watching an episode of “Kung Fu†or some other silly incident that I cannot even recall. Or it might have nothing to do with anything from my childhood and just the fact that as I got older, being with Asian girls has in general been a good experience. That those good experiences validate and reinforce the bias I have for them. But if it was that pretty Vietnamese girl that was responsible for my attraction to Asian women, I would thank her now for leaving her window open as she prepared for bed on that summer night so long ago.
  2. DD your post makes me think you didn't read what I wrote. Because if you had you'd see I basically said the same thing you just did, minus the rant about keyboard warriors ruining this board. Although I thought it was amusing that you gave a nice example of what a keyboard warrior actually sounds like. Jesus, some people are strange.
  3. Sorry, but your op sounds like the type of thing I hear from guys who have no game. They call the girl a bitch because they failed with her. Girls in Thailand are not so different from girls anywhere except that it usually requires even less social skills to be successful. So telling me about your other successes in Thailand doesn't really impress me or convince me that you really know how to approach a girl. The problem is you. I am going to bet you didn't smile at her when she looked your way, that you waited too long to approach her giving her the impression that you lacked confidence, stared at her until it became weird, when you did approach her you made it so obvious that you were going to hit on her that she had her guard up. And then you didn't have anything other than "hi" to say to grab her attention and break down her defenses. Don't take this personal (although you probably will). Approaching a girl is a skill you can learn. Failure or success has nothing to do with you as a person because the girl has not gotten to know you yet. You can ignore what I am saying and continue to do okay in Thailand or you can try to work on your approach and increase the number and type of women that you are able to get.
  4. I wasn't trying to put you down. I am telling you that something you did or didn't do between the time she showed interest and you saying "hello" ruined your chances with her. But it could be the smallest thing and if you invite people here to guess what that was, you are more likely to get humorous replies than figure out what it really might have been. You seem somewhat insecure to give this incident any thought, but since it bothered you enough to post about it, why not look at it as a challenge to improve your approach instead of blaming your failure on the girl and looking for others who had similar failures to make you feel better about it.
  5. You aren't going to get any sympathy on this board and since none of us were there to see what happened we can't really say what you might have done wrong. The list of possibilities is endless. Obviously there was something wrong in your approach. Use this as an opportunity to figure what that was so you are more successful next time you are in a similar situation.
  6. Perhaps I gave 8 more thought than the others because she was the only one in that group that I'd have considered barfining.
  7. 10/10, Number 8 was the only one that I had to think about.
  8. Will you also translate the part about the safe in the room being a key lock? haha. You are giving all this way more thought than it deserves. Forget her and move on. You've done too much already. Stop trying to prove you are a good guy to someone who doesn't really care.
  9. Perhaps she just felt she was having to spend too much time with you for too little money compared with her usual customers. She was probably hoping to lose you to one of the other girls.
  10. I would not have barfined a 37 year old woman from a Pattaya beer bar.
  11. Is "Lucy's Oar House" in Nagoya still around? It has been a long time since I went to Batam. There used to be a guy named Jensen that hung out at Lucy's and would take you around to the different places in town that had girls, trying find the type of girl you wanted. Afterwards he would say to pay him whatever you thought his services were worth. Nice enough guy for a pimp. Nagoya was a real shit hole 10 years ago and the majority of the Indo girls I saw did nothing for me. Too dark, too fat, horrible fashion sense and too much make up. But after a lot of searching I did find an adorable little thing at one place. It was 350K Indonesian Rupees for 24 hours which I made full use of. I did spoil her a bit being the Indonesian Millionaire that I was. But she definitely earned her money in bed. I remember sending her off the next afternoon only to get a light knock on the door a few minutes later. When I opened the door she stood there in the hall with her head down. I thought maybe she had forgotten something but she said with a sad voice that I didn't give her a kiss goodbye. It may have been an act. If so it was a good one. The memory of her standing there pouting is still vivid after all these years. The rest of Batam is just as well forgotten.
  12. OH, Actually I wasn't taking the piss with my earlier comments. And although I agree with some of what Lycus says, I don't share his bitterness toward women that seems to be his main motivation. Getting set up with someone here illegally was never going to work out. I think you handled it the right way. Lycus probably would have told you to promise to marry her so you could continue shagging her. Then when you had enough, simply call INS to have her deported. I think you can find the right girl for yourself without having to do anything special to win her over. Sounds like you scuba dive. Use that. If she has never done it before, even better. You take her out and teach her. An easy dive trip where you are in your element. You will naturally display the two things that all women are attracted to, confidence and enthusiasm. Plus she will associate you with an experience that was exciting and different. On your side, you are doing what you like anyway and maybe through her you can recapture those feelings you had when you were first learning to dive. JJ
  13. One of my best friends did the same with a Japanese exchange student he met in college. She actually thought it was fun doing all those things together with him... especially the shagging. They have been happily married now for many years and they still go fishing. You only have to get lucky one time.
  14. Dating? People still do that? Forget the stereotypical date thing: dinner, movie, awkward goodbye wondering if you should kiss her or not. A big waste of money and it will not help you get a girl in bed. You should call her when you feel like it, invite her to come along and do whatever you were going to do anyway. Your world does not revolve around her. But let her know that she can be part of yours if she plays her cards right. Meeting up with friends for drinks? Tell her she is welcome to join you. Making dinner for friends at your house? Tell her she can come and help you cook (and help you clean up after they leave). Live your life and if she wants to be part of it and adds something to it, great. The girl will respect you a lot more than some loser who wines and dines her in an lame attempt to impress a person he doesn't even know just so she might sleep with him.
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