My friends and family would sometimes ask about my preference for Asian girls. I never gave it much thought and so I would shrug and say Ã¢â‚¬Å“that is just what I likeÃ¢â‚¬Â. Similar to liking a certain type of music, or having a preference for a certain type of food. It isnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t to say that I found all Asian women attractive. Among Asians girls there was a certain look that I was drawn to. And, it wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t that I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t find any non-Asian girls attractive. There were some that I definitely did. But I would have to admit that even those non-Asian girls I was most attracted to tended to have the Ã¢â‚¬Å“AsianÃ¢â‚¬Â features I found appealing. So I began to think whether this preference was really more than just that, a preference. Was it what some friends referred to as an Ã¢â‚¬Å“Asian fetishÃ¢â‚¬Â? The term conjured up images of the older guys who would approach my girlfriends with Ã¢â‚¬Å“KonnichiwaÃ¢â‚¬Â.
The politically correct would even go so far as to say that an Asian fetish is a form of racism. Although that always seemed to me to be taking things too far to expect an equal opportunity approach to dating. Following that line of reasoning, would I be considered sexist for preferring to date women over men?
Despite my ability to argue the point, I still wondered where my attraction to Asian girls started. I gave this some serious thought and began by allowing the possibility that this was a fetish of some sort and then asking where any sort of fetish originates. My feeling is that it usually has to do with what you were exposed to during that time in your life when you were just becoming sexually aware. So I tried to remember if there were any Asian women I knew during that time that could have left an impression on me.
I moved a lot as a kid but during that impressionable part of my childhood, I lived in a mostly Italian-American middle-class neighborhood in Brooklyn. I had not really thought about that period of my life much. My father was an abuse drunk and there werenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t many happy memories to reminisce over. But as I thought back to try and pin point a moment when I first thought about an Asian girl in a sexual way, a memory of a hot summer night came back to me. It was late, but my parents were fighting as they often did. I went to the backyard to get away from the yelling and also to escape any stray violence that might come my way. In the backyard we had a huge oak tree which I often climbed, always trying to gather enough courage to make it to the very top and always getting too scared by the time I was looking down at the roof of our two story house to go any further. Under the full moon that night I decided I would climb to the very top. If I fell, I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t care. Perhaps part of it was the Ã¢â‚¬Å“theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll be sorry when I am deadÃ¢â‚¬Â attitude of an angry kid. But mostly I think that it was knowing that this was the one thing I could do that would make me forget about the chaos going on inside my house. I pushed myself to the very highest point and then some. I can only imagine the size of the branch that could barely hold me at that age. I also remember feeling much better about life and myself and suddenly caring about dying as I started to make my way down.
But as I lowered myself to a safer branch I noticed the open second story window of our neighborÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s house. The second floor was rented to a guy who just returned from Vietnam and who had brought back a pretty Vietnamese girl. At the time they seemed much older, but I am sure they were probably early 20's. They must not have had air conditioning because they left the window wide open to try and get some breeze on that hot humid night. And from my high perch, I could see into their apartment where the Vietnamese girl was preparing for bed. I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know how long I sat there watching her, I just remember the feeling of seeing my first glimpse of a beautiful semi-naked women. Was she the one that inspired my future preference for Asian women? I guess I canÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t really know for sure. I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t develop a fetish for climbing trees and peeping on women. Although, I will admit that I did climb that particular tree a lot more that summer and mostly at night when the Vietnamese girl had her window open. Fortunately, I had not yet discovered masturbation because climbing the tree was dangerous enough with two hands, and I would hate, for the rest of my life, having to explain exactly how I became a paraplegic.
So if there was an episode that inspired my Asian preference that might have been it. But for all I know, it could have been watching an episode of Ã¢â‚¬Å“Kung FuÃ¢â‚¬Â or some other silly incident that I cannot even recall. Or it might have nothing to do with anything from my childhood and just the fact that as I got older, being with Asian girls has in general been a good experience. That those good experiences validate and reinforce the bias I have for them. But if it was that pretty Vietnamese girl that was responsible for my attraction to Asian women, I would thank her now for leaving her window open as she prepared for bed on that summer night so long ago.