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HellsBells's Achievements


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  1. This is why Vodka and driving isn't allowed!
  2. Know the place . Visited it a few times when I was in Samui!
  3. [A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.
  4. A young brunette from a prominent family walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. She was going to Europe for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. When asked for security for the loan, she handed over the keys to a new Rolls Royce Phantom Series II Coupés. The car was worth more than $500,000 and it was parked in front of the bank. The young woman had the title and her credit history was pristine. Everything checked out and the bank agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. When she left the loan officers were laughing. No one had ever secured a $5000 loan with $500,000. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage. Two weeks later, the woman returned and repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41. The loan officer said “We were very pleased to have had your business, and this transaction worked out nicely. I did a credit check and you have very high net worth. Why would you bother to borrow $5,000?†She replied â€Where else in New York City could I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41, and expect it to be there when I returned?â€
  5. Just heard, that they have torn MUI BUNGALOW down and putting up something high class (well for Lamai standards). Too bad, liked the place. HB
  6. An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f*ck her again."
  7. Just returned frtom Lamai and it was like always. Kinda quiet (which served me well after 8 month of continous work) with enough "Entertainment" during the nights. Prices at the barfront remained stable (200-300 BF, 1.000 - 1.500 LT) while prices for decent acomodation have exploded (3.800 for a bungalow, I spent 1.200 18 month before without any renovation of the place is ridicoulous). Ended up in the good ole Mui Bungalow. Was a bit sceptic at first, cause the owner Dirk died in tzhe summer of 09, but his wife and the new husband run it as before. 800 for a decent small bungalow allows enough spending money for the extra ordinary dews. If you just want to relax after a strenious time and have a little party along the way, this is still an option. HB
  8. While walking through the woods, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?" "I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You gotta be kiddin' me." "No, would you like to give it a try?" Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewellery, car keys, then stripped him naked and left. Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?" He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "Cupcake, this just ain't gonna be your day".
  9. You can say that again! 25 Sec my best!
  10. Heck no, it just did not post the first time and so I hit the button twice more. HB
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