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Everything posted by carew66

  1. Typical of Fly. Right in the middle of it. He'll be seriously pissed off. (I like the filing of allegations - quite rightly - at Jumsai for the incitement to bash.)
  2. Okay - I'll have a stab at something. It's Sunday night here and half of my brain is already working on tomorrow's demands. And talking of brains - and how I nearly lost mine - makes a good enough short anecdote. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Woody Allen said that (according to Google). True enough in my case. I had some plans when I arrived here in 2004 - nothing particularly concrete, definitely flexible, no hurry, no worry - but after just two weeks in Thailand a couple of guys tried to murder me. That was a novel experience. Somewhere in the archives is a rather garbled account written shortly afterwards, together with the comments opining that 'there must be more to this story' as if I was at fault. Well, there was more to it as it happened, but it took me more than four years to actually get to the bottom of it - but that's for another time. No, the reason why that incident is really significant is that even my half-formed plans were suddenly off the table. I had a Korean visa in my passport already, and had been about to embark for the land of kimchi. Never happened, no airline would let me board. Even weeks after getting out of hospital I was a mess. I've had worse, but I could have done without all the fuss. I didn't realise then that I'd been done a favour. The way things worked out to my benefit afterwards were a bit spooky. Things just fell into place over time. Over time - that's the key here. I see a lot of fast-talking smart-arses turn up here thinking that what works in the west can work in Thailand if only the Thais would get with the program. Trust me - they won't do anything unless they want to, and only then in their own way. Thailand just tires these fuckers out, then they fuck off. Seen 'em come, seen 'em go. If you stick around long enough, opportunities happen - in time. I'll never understand this place. No one who isn't Thai could ever understand this place. The curtain lifts every now and again, but then that's it. Cultural Peek-a-Boo. And that's just the way I like it. No regrets.
  3. Rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, Sayjann. I just haven't visited this board for a long time. Hell, I haven't even visited the UK since 2008. I have my own life in Thailand. When I get a holiday I'm where I want to be on holiday. Now that I've said 'hello' I feel somewhat duty bound to say something further. Hang on a minute, let me have a think.
  4. Er..no offence, but that photo? Whatever the ins and outs of it...? It's uncomfortable viewing. Dont make me spell it out, please.
  5. It helps - but Christ it tastes like shit. Very Milk of Magnesia. Hair of the dog. That'll do the trick.
  6. Soi Zero - underneath the arches...
  7. I feel your pain. But as a member of the liberal elite I feel I have a duty to spell properly. We are victims who have been unfairly targeted by the media. But do we retreat? Hell no. We reload. We keep grammar in the crosshairs. Our fingers are on the trigger. Lock and load you betcha. If Sarah becomes president I believe spelling can only improve across this great nation. It's a miracle!!! Ah, chuckwoww! You are very naughty.
  8. Well, to be honest, he looks like a bit of a bruiser. The sort of chap you'd expect to be standing outside a club in the Reeperbahn or something. I know what you're getting at though! My other thoughts have been along the lines that he probably doesn't know that his ma-in-law might be helping herself to his stock to make a bit of pin money. But, you know the score here. "I know nothing." I was upstairs collecting fares, guv'nor. The maid is my firewall.
  9. My next door neighbour is a wine importer. German guy. Don't see him often. We are on nodding terms but it was his missus that dropped a catalogue off a few months ago together with a couple of bottles of very nice Chateau Can't Remember free, gratis and for nothing. So, anyway - I've ringed a few bottles in the list just before Christmas as I wanted to treat myself. All were in the 1200 - 1500 baht bracket. He does some good shit for that price. Then the maid (who gabs with the said guy's mother-in-law over the wall all day, most days) decided to 'help' and informed me that she'd put the order in and that it was only 1100 baht to hand over, which I dutifully did and crossed it off my 'to do' list. What could go wrong, eh? Well, I ended up with a fucking demi-john:5 litres - of Merlot. Maid was obviously thinking that this was a good deal! After all, stupid Carew was going to spend more than that on just one measly bottle. Falangs, eh? Ah, well - so I unscrewed the cap (!) on Boxing Day and to be honest the first few glasses were pretty drinkable considering. The day after of course, I was the proud owner of 4.5 litres of really good vinegar! Upside - my sauces and stuff have been boosted since, but I've been even using it in 'mop' marinades when I've been barbecuing! It's one of those 'culture clashes'. The lass thought she was doing good so I haven't the heart to get grumpy. This time.
  10. Don't quote me,. Chuck - but I'm watching Fox now! (Charles Krauthammer is my hero)
  11. Then the Buddhist handed over 10 dollars and waited and waited and waited until the hot-dog vendor said, "Change comes from within..."
  12. Sorry - colloquialism. It means putting a couple of 100 baht each in a beer glass and getting pissed ( ah shit..that's drunk - not angry). Nothing to do with The Cave (bye bye) or any BDSM activity. Well, I say no BDSM but then again...
  13. Jimmie, perhaps if we talk nicely to Top Cat...? It would be a fitting venue, we can have a whip-round and some recitals of MaoMark's works. I have most of them saved on CD.
  14. Jimmie - I refuse to believe this, but if it is indeed true then the London Contingent shall surely mark this sad event in our own inimitable way. I still have money for the beer ( I am not so sure if my penis still works though..)
  15. Just tagging on... Encase is my fave piece of software.
  16. Cheers. Here - don't forget to start thinking about Christmas. It's nearly upon us (!). BTW - good to see you in Gullivers the other week. Surprise, surprise eh? Now I've worked it our that you must have been just off the plane when I saw you. For a moment I guess you thought you'd arrived back in London by accident. Seems that Gullivers is the best place for meeting people these days. ------------------------------------------------------------ "My penis still works and I have money for the beer" (Priceless line from MaoMark copyright Fiery Jack)
  17. ib, Shit - I forgot to post about this the other week. It happened to me. I was on my way to Soi 7 and reckoned on crossing via the Nana BTS and there were 2 girls and 1 guy with clipboards outside Pacific Place. Having had a couple of Heinekens in the DieNasty beforehand I was feeling full of the joys of spring and the milk of human kindness (and one of the girls was crumpet) and so I filled out their 'tourism survey'. Next day - 10 in the freakin' morning and the phone rings. "Condratulations. you have won a prize" and then this woman went on burbling about a presentation and what time did I want picking up - 1.30, 2.30 or 3.30? She was still rabbitting on when I put the phone down. Guess they must be used to that 'cos they never phoned again. Should I be kicking myself? I mean - I did win something. Didn't I? To echo STH and others - all timeshare is bollocks. Total and utter fucking bollocks. There's a guy at my place of work right? He is as gullible as shit (For instance I told him that there is a 'Directors Cut' of the 'Railway Children' in which Jenny Agutter gives Mister Perks a blowjob in the cupboard she is hiding in on his birthday - and yeah - he believes it. Keeps asking for 'Railway Children Redux' down at Blockbuster). Anyway, this guy has got two timeshares. The muppet.
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