Mekong

The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker who will hopefully help Liverpool win the title. One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks will turn out to be a superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Manchester United with only 20 minutes left to play. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football. "Hello Mum, guess what?" he says, "I played for 20 minutes today. We were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everyone loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me." "Wonderful," says his Mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, all whilst you were having a great time." The young lad is very upset, "What can I say Mum, but I'm SO sorry." "Sorry!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the Angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand. Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over,apologizes for not greeting him personally at the pearly gates, shakes his hand and says 'Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you! Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says 'Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive.' 'Congratulations for what?' says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty. 'We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!' The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth agape. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says 'Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty.' 'That's simply impossible son,' says Saint Peter. 'We've added up your time sheets.'

Three times a Day and Flossing

Being British I have one of the traits that we are renowned for, Terrible Teeth, so at the turn of the year I decided to do something about it once and for all. Using a place called PRD Dental Clinic on Chula 42, its a private clinic run by Dr Pirasut Rodanant who was at University of Western Australia the same same as my wifes cousin, and his wife who is also a Dentist. I wont list the amount of work I am having done since it takes up three sheets of A4 paper, and I have probably spent about 20 hours in his chair so far. The only part that I have found uncomfortable so far was when I had the gum relieved on my upper incisors, the 5 root canals were relatively a pleasure compared to that. I probably have another 40 hours to spend in the chair, and I cannot wait until I get the implants for my Molars, more expensive than removable false teeth but at least I won't choke on them going to bed drunk. Dr Pirasut has been taking photographs on each of my visits, once work is complete I will get a copy and post them here. I warn you, the first picture before any work was started makes the image on Thai Cigarette packets look like healthy teeth.

WOW For a spat between 127 and I some 4 months ago may be awarded a Litle Yellow S