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Mekong

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Everything posted by Mekong

  1. Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day. They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven. The angel said 'Unfortunately, there 's only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which of one of you will be admitted.' The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to H eaven. Dolly took off her top and said, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.' The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question. The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word. The Angel immediately said, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven.' Dolly was outraged and asked, 'What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me? 'Sorry, Dolly,' said the Angel, 'but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are.'
  2. I am not sure if this should be in this thread or Munchies "Anyone want to loose some weight" thread. An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds." When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS! "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from de bloody skippin'!!!!!"
  3. Stan no worries, as I said, I was probably being just as provocative as yourself, sometimes my style can get to people more so than out and out insults. It was all in good jest and we have given a few other board members a laugh as well. No damage done and welcome to the select group of pillocks
  4. Stan, It was me who you were attacking and I am probably as much to blame as yourself for adding fuel to the fire, I can be an antagonising prick at times. It was all in good fun IMHO.
  5. I was considering writing a long winded reply to this thread, but I cant be arsed to waste my time. Scam Artists require victims to operate at a profit, and there are a lot more naieve tourist victims in Thailand at present than scammers. Victims adverise themsleves as such and are easy pray. Admit it, I see / hear so many stories abot tourist rip offs and Thai Gal cheats Farang, the Irony is just unbelievable.
  6. Cav. I tend to disagree, IMHO the OP was pushing a personal vendetta too far and got his come uppance, as has been stated both here and in Sticks diatribe, never take a crap in an asians rice bowl, rock the boat and you will capsise. Scams, Crap, Bullshit, Corruption, call it what you like is part and parcel of Asian Society not just Thailand, and in order to survive, make a living and have a life here one needs to keep eyes and ears open and mouth shut, shit happens don't become a victim!
  7. Pushing is a better word ... as in pushing up the roses.
  8. And in Sticks column he refers to him as "a long time Stickman reader - and a friend" Part of Darwins theory of evolution was how the gene pool found its own levels!
  9. Neo, For a start read what rchapstick said and what I agreed with I was not referring to a scrap of paper, but the website of the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Travel Advice for Thailand. As for scams that are not on the list I agree totally, but the OP is only referring to one Scam, and making the statement "The Word Isn't Out", something I demonstrated to be an incorrect statement.
  10. I have to agree with rchapstick on this, Taken from UK Foreign Office own website. It would appear the word IS OUT!
  11. Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the rear of a bus. Their planning did not take into account the position of the exhaust pipe.
  12. KS, The "must be a cat with no tail thing.......... " line was referance to my birth place The Isle of Man also referred to as 70,000 alcoholics clinging to a rock. The Manx Cat is famous for being tailess
  13. Come on SJ ... KS was confused enough with the joke, you will have totaly lost him with that comment.
  14. Cyclops One I'd sounds the same as "One Eyed" Git "Noun. An idiot or contemptible person. Derived from 'get'. " Source So One I'd Get similar to One Eyed Git (Idiot) Hence the Cyclops hit him
  15. It seems Teddy recieved the same emails as I did yesterday.
  16. 21) Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life's problems. Homer Simpson
  17. Some good ones in there Flash, I liked The presumed deceased part made me laugh,
  18. ijs5 joke reminded me of this old one An Englishman an Irishman and A Scotsman went to a Brothel in Amsterdam and were told that the going rate was â?¬25 / inch. A couple of hours later after doing the dirty deed they were chatting to each other outside, the Englishman said " Not bad for â?¬200" the Irishman, somewhat bragging said" I paid â?¬250" then the Scotsman added "Well I only paid â?¬75" The Englishman and Irish looked at the Scotsman and burst out laughing â?¬75 ha ha ha, the Scotsman replied "I don't know what you're both laughing at, I paid on the way out"
  19. Following the death of Pavarotti the Three Tenors will now be known as 20 Quid!
  20. Just Teasing ... Being a "Professional Pedantic Asshole" is part of my job description and it has been one of those days today. Rather than let off steam here I think I will take the 200 Meter stroll down Soi AR and into Soi 6 instead, having digs in Pattaya for work sure beats anywhere I ever was in the ME
  21. No, they are at the ticket office
  22. I did not Laugh due to the poor delivery of the (non) joke Now if you Laughed it must be your sense of humour that is in question, or maybe ones lack of ability to comprehend the written word in front of you.
  23. Line 5 was Outbound Journey, I see that The alledged joke is about the return journey
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