Palatkik

Customer: A nice bunch of flowers for the wife please Florist: Certainly, sir. Are you looking for anything particular? Customer: A blow job hopefully

Mr Trump a tough guy cockney accent. No words were changed.

In a Valley of Violence (2016) A somewhat satirical and absurd homage to westerns of old like Tarantino might do, falls flat at times, but overall entertains.

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie [2017] 50% Hero. 100% Cotton. Impossible to watch this animated caper without raising a laugh.

Prick Up Your Ears [1987] Amusing recently re-released DVD bio on the 50th anniversary of the violent death of London playwright Joe Orton set during the swinging 60’s. The title “Ears†is an anagram, which dictates the theme of this!

Breaking news ....Autopsy just finished on Brucie. Official notice : Bruce Forsyth died of a seizure, nice to seizure, to seizure nice!!

The top 15 funniest jokes from the Fringe 2017 1. "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change" - Ken Cheng 2. "Trump's nothing like Hitler. There's no way he could write a book" - Frankie Boyle 3. "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?" - Alexei Sayle 4. "I'm looking for the girl next door type. I'm just gonna keep moving house till I find her" - Lew Fitz 5. "I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the 'brella'. But he hesitated" - Andy Field 6. "Combine Harvesters. And you'll have a really big restaurant" - Mark Simmons 7. "I'm rubbish with names. It's not my fault, it's a condition. There's a name for it..." - Jimeoin 8. "I have two boys, 5 and 6. We're no good at naming things in our house" - Ed Byrne 9. "I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died... which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine" - Olaf Falafel 10. "Whenever someone says, 'I don't believe in coincidences.' I say, 'Oh my God, me neither!"' - Alasdair Beckett-King 11. "A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men's singles event" - Angela Barnes 12. "As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer" - Adele Cliff 13. "For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don't want to do it" - Phil Wang 14. "I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark" - Adam Hess 15. "I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act" - Tim Vine

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am". The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude". "You must be a technician." said the balloonist. "I am" replied the man "how did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk." The man below responded, "You must be in management". "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fucking fault!

The Hippopotamus [2017] Enjoyable bawdy British comedy based on a Stephen Fry novel, combine’s old style Agatha Christie style sleuthing with the wicked filthy minded voice overs of a drunkard-retired poet.

My Cousin Rachel [2017] A poorly directed remake of the 1952 romantic thriller movie does not quite generate the atmosphere it might have among the fine scenery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ugJZhL-cbc

The Zookeeper's Wife [2017] Based on the true story of Warsaw Zoo during the 2nd World War, this is a rather dull and clichéd Schindler's List type of story that never gets as nasty as it probably should. Cute animals distract.

D' Mrs. Brown's Boys Movie [2014] Cashing in on the UK TV comedy show, which offers basic family comedy for the weekend masses, the movie is old school unoriginal “fecking†rubbish, cannot believe a second movie is in the works.

Of Gods And Men [2011] The French foreign language entry for the 83rd academy awards, covers the 1996 harrowing story of French monks helping poor communities in Algeria that meet their fate in the civil war. Not bad but as some wag once said “forgive me father for I was boredâ€.

Agreed - I will miss the Sunday read.

Mendel's DEFECATORY PRINCIPLE