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elef

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elef last won the day on March 25 2012

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About elef

  • Birthday 01/02/1953

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    Marbella Spain

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  1. I had a discussion tonight with a professor of biology and he said a lot of bullshit here. Chimps and bonobo share 99 % of DNA with humans.
  2. TB, surely not much under 2000, maybe 1900. Private limo (illegal but TIT), Pattaya - Hua Hin including toll roads 3000 baht, he came back and drove the return leg too, for 2500. Happened almost 4 years ago but price is still the same. I was surprised how quick the trip was - around 3 hours I remember.
  3. I've checked the calendar - probably 28 december 2012 is the last bankday, on 30th just the banks in BKK airport will be open. BB, let me think about that some days and we can bet on that too. I'll go to Spain so euro is maybe important for me too. Else SEK is important for me. There will be one for the euro if somebody else isn't quicker than me... (Probably I can bring some Cruzcampo as prize...)
  4. This topic has been discussed many times and often resulted in an infected discussion. Exhange rates are based on fundamentals and market expectations. I don't want just guesses but some reasons for your opinion also. OK, my POV. USA have long time said that the chinese yuan is undervalued, no other government or central banks have said something like that. For me it indicates that the dollar is overvalued. A few days ago the ECB chief told that euro crise is over (btw, I dont think so) and now the world must focus on the bad economy in USA. USA owe China 3 trillion dollars if we use the UK/USA meaning of a trillion (that's a billion in most other countries). So my question is, how many baht will you get for a dollar if you change in a bank in Thailand 30 december 2012? Closest guess will win a box with 12 big Chang in january 2013 - in Pattaya or Bangkok. If I win all of you can buy me a big Chang instead.... My guess is 25!
  5. elef

    Dem Old Bones

    I also had a CT Scan 14 days ago - they complained my spleen and liver were damaged, not big news but who needs a spleen. My liver is still working however. At our age we don't need a brain at all - according to ladies we're thinking with the smaller head anyhow.... Good luck and I look forward to further fights! Missing part of the brain - just a cheap excuse Munchie! Ready for a new match?
  6. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Don't think it was like that at all, Washington is standing, Ben Franklin is sitting with Thomas Jefferson whispering something in his ear. I think Asimov wrote that Ben Franklin was supposed to write the constitution alone but they were afraid he would put some jokes inside so had to give him others to watch him.
  7. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Washington is probably the man sitting, Ben Franklin was in Paris as ambassador so he wasn't there.
  8. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Enlighten me please Flash, from the left is John Adams, second is Thomas Jefferson, but the rest? And who is/was the moron - GWB?
  9. elef

    Any New Jokes

    FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lesson 2 A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lesson 3 A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' Moral of the story Always let your boss have the first say. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lesson 4 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lesson 5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
  10. elef

    Any New Jokes

    I don't think so it was very early in the war, he was just thinking about controlling the swedish iron production, take it for UK and stop Hitler to get it. BTW, Sweden traded with both UK and Germany during the first half of WWII, after Stalingrad and El Alamein the allied side was strongly favoured and Germany got less and less. Castro got tired of receiving a lot a crazy american hijackers, so he started to send the hijacker back with same airplane - after that it stopped completely. Guantanamo or Muskogee?
  11. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Now is Phil hijacking this thread but I don't complain. First Sweden allowed soldiers on leave, also injured and sick to travel through Sweden unarmed, the worst thing was that after Operation Barbarossa started (invastion of Soviet) the swedish govermnet allowed the Engelbrecht division (163rd infantry division) with arms to move to Finland passing Sweden. On the other side did Churchill plan, before he became PM, to attack neutral Norway and Sweden to control Narvik and the swedish iron mines. Switzerland has an even worse WWII history and american sanctions remained several years after war end. I'm half danish so I don't care, my province is Scania and it was occupied by Sweden 1658.
  12. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Two friends are playing golf, when they get held up by a two women playing in front of them. One of them agrees to walk forward and ask if they can play through. The first man returns and says "I can't ask them to play through, one is my wife and the other is my lover". The second man agrees to go up and ask them to play though, but soon returns and reports "Small world, I have the same problem." --- I was playing this hole one time with a senior citizen and just as he was about ready to hit his tee shot he noticed a funeral procession approaching. He took off his hat, put it over his heart, and stood silently and watched the procession go by until it disappeared. I said, "That's really nice of you. Do you always do that when a funeral goes by? He said "No, not usually, but I it's the least I could do in this case. I was married to the woman for 40 years!" --- Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7:00 a.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, one of them got transferred out of town and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome. A woman standing near the tee said, "Hey, I like to golf, can I join the group?" They were hesitant, but said she could come once to try it and they could see what they thought. They all agreed and she said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up right at 6:30, and wound up setting a course record with a 7-under par round. The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her. Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. The guys happily invited her back the next week and she said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45." Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. Only this time, she played left-handed, and matched her 7-under par score of the previous week. By now the guys were totally amazed, and they asked her to join the group for keeps. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?" She said, "That's easy. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude. If his member is pointing to the right, I golf right-handed; if it's pointed to the left, I golf left-handed." One of the guys asked, "What if it's pointed straight up?" She said, "Then I'll be here at 6:45."
  13. elef

    Any New Jokes

    The discussions in american news forum reminded me of an old german WWII joke. An airplane with Hitler, Goring, Himmler, Goebbels and all other top nazis crashed and all died. Who was rescued? But you said all died. Yes, but the german people was rescued.
  14. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Freedom, equality and brotherhood. Maybe the BM (?) Professor Higgins can start with english classes: The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! All from the US, Australia and NZ must train hard.
  15. elef

    Any New Jokes

    Maybe have to read "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court" again....
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