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teddy

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Everything posted by teddy

  1. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    'I have an erection.' Said Sean Connery when I asked him what kind of phone he had.
  2. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    Does Sean Connery like herbs? Only partially.
  3. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    Barman says to Paddy "Your glass is empty do you want another one?" Paddy says "Why the fuck would l want two empty glasses?"
  4. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    My mate told me the other day that my grammar was shit. I had the last laugh though, and told him that his grandad was a cunt.
  5. Arenal were very entertaining today, I had to change my undercrackers at least 3 times during that match.
  6. Watched Kill the Irishman yesterday, brilliant beginning, very good end but the middle bit seemed to be missing?
  7. There are and have always been many schools of thought about where we are heading. After every crash the doomsayers are always the loudest but also always the ones that miss the opportunities that the said crash bring up. Fill yer friggining booots is a better philosophy and one that will bring you more riches than betting on armageddon.
  8. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    Husband - "fancy playing rape tonight" Wife - "no" Husband - "thats the spirit"
  9. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    What does a scottish epilectic have for christmas? A wii fit
  10. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    A woman asks her doctor "How many calories are in cum?" The doctor replies "If you swallow, no bloke will care that your fat!" ----------------------------------- A lesbian went to weight watchers and the organiser said, 'Remember you are what you eat', the lesbian replied, 'You calling me a cunt?' ------------------------------------ I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
  11. I have only ever been to the Swiss Hotel in Dubai Phil, what a feckin dump and the girls there make the Thermae girls look like supermodels
  12. Unisex Munchie, Toni & Guy, there's one in Emirates Towers if you want to try.
  13. I pay between £58 and £65 depending on whether or not I get conditioner which I always do apart from once when I was going swimming after the haircut so I thought fuck it. Works out to be around 3,600 Bht
  14. teddy

    Useless Posts

    The worst thing about hot and humid weather is that your balls sweat. I much prefer dry balls, hate it when you can feel the moisture in your undercrackers.
  15. teddy

    Any New Jokes

    A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen cooking. He looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in frying pan. 'What are you doing?' he asks. 'I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk,' she replied. Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, 'I don't remember asking her to cook my sock......'
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