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BelgianBoy

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Everything posted by BelgianBoy

  1. Passenger to a Sexy Air Hostess : What is your name ? Air Hostess answers : Mercedes, Sir ! Passenger says : Lovely name ! Any relation with Mercedes Benz ? Air hostess : Same Price
  2. pipes and tattoo anyone ? 7RWIJ2cEzGE
  3. Passenger to a Sexy Air Hostess : What is your name ? Air Hostess answers : Mercedes, Sir ! Passenger says : Lovely name ! Any relation with Mercedes Benz ? Air hostess : Same Price
  4. Teacher : Can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives? Student : smo-king , drin-king & fuc-king...
  5. just back from Robin Hood with Russell Crowe, good film 8.5/10 for me or *** BB
  6. actually here he is called "Jantje".....
  7. Little Dave jokes..... LITTLE DAVE ON MATH (Part 1) A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little DAVE. He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot..' The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.' Then little DAVE says, 'I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?' The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.' To which Little DAVE replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking..' LITTLE DAVE ON MATH (Part 2) Little DAVE returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. 'Why?' asks the father? 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'' I said '6', replies DAVE. 'But that's right!' says his dad. 'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'' 'What's the fuckin' difference?' asks the father. 'That's what I said!' LITTLE DAVE ON ENGLISH Little DAVE goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?' DAVE says 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little DAVE, that's a mouthful..' Little DAVE says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob.' LITTLE DAVE ON GRAMMAR Little DAVE was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!' The teacher replied, 'Now, DAVE, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.' Little DAVE, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!' LITTLE DAVE ON GRAMMAR (Part 2) One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word 'beautiful' in the same sentence twice.... First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, 'My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.' 'Very good, Suzie,' replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. 'My mummy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.' She said, 'Excellent, Michael!' Then the teacher reluctantly called on little DAVE. 'Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fuckin' beautiful!'' LITTLE DAVE ON GETTING OLDER Little DAVE was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little DAVE replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.' The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?' Little DAVE answered, 'No, he minded his own fuckin' business. I LOVE Little DAVE!!!!! BB
  8. Conversation with God : Man: God? God: Yes? Man: Can I ask you something? God: Of course! Man: What is for you a million of years? God: A second. Man: And a million dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, Can you give me a penny? God: Wait a second.
  9. "A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood"
  10. what are the 3 major catastrophies of the 20th century ? Hiroshima 45 Chernobyl 86 Windows 95 BB
  11. Saw it as well, a bit of a loose cannon IMO..... Saw Moon as well, great movie, but then I am sci-fi addicted... Also saw : - District 9 : nice idea, cute movie, B production - Pandorum : good movie - Management - The hangover : about a bacherlors'party in Vegas, very funny stuff BB
  12. God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.' The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments? Can you give us an example?' God said, 'For example .......... Thou shall not kill.' The Arabs were shocked, 'What? Not kill? No way! Killing and massacring innocent people is our birth-right and the only reason for our existence. No, we are not interested.' So God went to the Africans and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Africans wanted an example. God said, 'For example ........... Honour thy Father and Mother.' The Africans were dismayed. They said, 'Father? Yo maan! Can't tell for sure who our fathers are, maan!' So God went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Mexicans wanted an example. God said, 'For example ........... Thou shall not steal.' The Mexicans were flabbergasted. They said, 'No steal? No steal?? Hey Senor, we no steal then how we live, huh? Gracias, but no!' So God went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.' The French wanted an example. God said, 'For example ........... Thou shall not commit adultery.' The French were stunned. They said, 'What? Not commit ze adultery ....... ? Non, non, non. Non Monsieur. Pardonnez vous. We, ze French, must have ze romance.' So God went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.' The Jews asked, 'Commandments? How much do they cost?' God replied, 'Nothing. They are free.' The Jews answered, 'Good. We shall take Ten!'
  13. KS, I have a 50" plasma TV since 4 years with a great surround homecinema equipment. And yet, it is not the same thing as sitting in the movietheater and soaking it all up on a huge screen. But YMMV..... BB
  14. I mean big screen as in the cinema, at home I'll watch it on TV.
  15. Watched 2012 last night. Weak storyline great effects Overrated IMO but lets say I was well entertained. Better on a large screen than downloading & watching at home..... Then again YMMV BB
  16. If you liked the original, you will like this one as well.
  17. I'll be the third one then ! GI Joe was shite, but Star Trek was very good indeed. Go for it. BB
  18. A Public Service Message . . . . . Wine and Water To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine..and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whisky or other liquor), because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health . Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit . There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
  19. We watched Horsemen yesterday a nice thriller, 7.5/10. Last week Crossover, 8/10. BB
  20. Definition of Guts and Balls Medical Distinctions We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below... GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next." I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death. BB
  21. I dont agree, I watched it last night, a very enjoyable movie :thumbup: BB
  22. Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Lusty says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.' LazyPhil continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says, 'You better think it over, Lusty. Women like that are hard to find.'
  23. Dont know if it was posted here before, but here goes : Dear friends, You all know we work in the finance and banking industry... Herewith I lik to share with you some info how people cope with the financial crisis. Enjoy... 1. A trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife." 2. President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by all these bank closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said. 3. George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman brothers. His thoughts at this time is to go out to their mother as losing one son is hard, but losing two is a tragedy. 4. The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the right side nothing is right and on the left side nothing is left. 5. In math's there are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest are all sub prime. 6. How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday. 7. What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. 8. Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back. 9. For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland ? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty... 10. If you want to gamble, go to Las Vegas . If you want to trade in derivatives, God bless you. 11. What's the difference between a guy who just lost everything in Vegas and an investment banker? A tie. 12. What's the difference between a bond and a bond trader? A bond matures. 13. Lehman have changed their recommendation on Lehman from hold to sell. 14. Forty years ago I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I checked it out, and if I sold another fifty shares, Id have enough money to buy a 1967 Ford pickup. So, the market has stabilized
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