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  • Birthday 07/29/1908

FAT_AUSSIE's Achievements


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  1. I said to the missus last night, what would you do if I'd won money on lotto? she said I take half then leave you. I said great, here's ya six bucks now fuck off.
  2. a bloke was standing on his front porch watching his mother in law get beaten up by 6 men. His neighbor runs over and says to him, don't you think you should lend a hand to which he replied- Nah- 6 blokes should be enough. Fatts....
  3. some bloke takes his 19 year old daughter to the doctor, after an examination the doctor asks thhe father, is your daughter sexually active? the father replied No! she just lays there like her mother... FA.
  4. Myself and two of my friends were talking about how stupid our wifes are. Firstly I said my wifes so stupid, she went and bought a car but the silly bitch can't even drive! My mate said that's nothin', my wife's so fucking stupid, she goes and buys 300 kilo's of steaks, and we have'nt even got a freezer. Me other mate said my wife's more stupid than that! she goes on a fortnights holiday to Pattaya, packs 200 condoms and she has'nt even got a cock! FA.....
  5. What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple does'nt come on a boys face until he's 14. FA......
  6. There were three blokes, the ozzie, the pomm and the Yankee. I don't know how it happened but all three happened to die at roughly the same time, so obviosly they all wound up outside Pete's gates at the same time. Peter said you, Australian man come forth, and so he did. Peter questioned the Aussie about his faithfullness to his wife during his married years. The Ausie explained that allthough he was a good husband it was the booze and his good *aussie* looks that let him down. Peter therefor explained that because of such behavior once admitted to heaven the car he he would have to drive for the rest of eternity would be a ex-bangkok taxi. Dissapointed the Aussie made his way into heaven in his new yellow and green chariot. Then Peter summoned the Englishman. Pomm he said, tell me about your monogamy throughout your married years. The Englishman explained to Peter that he too was a good husband allthough on only a few occasions did he have sex outside of his marriage but on the whole was over thirty years a faithfull husband. Peter agreed this was niether good nor bad, so for eternity the Englishman was given a new Isuzu DMax to tour heaven in. Then lastly the American. Peter summoned the American and too asked him to detail his faithfullness throughout his married years. The American explained that he was married for 35 years, his wife was the first woman he'd ever kissed let alone lost his virginity with, he never betrayed his wife, never even kissed another woman. Peter, impressed felt it was only due to reward the American for his efforts with a 7 series BWM. Overjoyed the American departed Peters gates with a burnout and fucked off into heaven. A number of days later the Aussie was cruising around in heaven, as you would, and then saw his mate from the gates, the American. In awe of the Americans new car the Aussie guy decided to go say hi and check out the Yankee's new beast. When he went over to the car he saw the American was sobbing, distraught. The Aussie said to the American, whats wrong? your in heaven, you have this beautiful new BMW 7 Series sedan and your in tears, what's the matter with you? The American between sobbs said to the Aussie, I just saw my wife, she was riding a scooter..... FA...
  7. A young lad, just 18 years old was sentenced to a short term of inprisonment. On his first day in jail he was locked up to share a cell with only one other prisoner, Bubba. Now this bloke is BIG and UGLY, gay and hungry(for bum). After spending twenty or so minutes in the cell, Bubba wakes. Bubba looks at the boy, points and says "you, boy, were going to play a game, it's called mummys and daddys! What do you want to be boy? mummy or daddy?" The Kids freaking and says O.K. I'll be daddy, Bubba replies, Good, NOW GET OVER HERE AND SUCK MUMMYS COCK! fa....
  8. In one year,firearms killed no children in Japan, 19 in Great Britain, 57 in Germany, 109 in France, 153 in Canada, and 5,285 in the United States. http://www.bradycampaign.org/facts/issues/?page=kids Simple no guns=5000+ American children potentially alive, and thats just in one year. Im no genius but you would have to say guns cause trouble. No parent want's to bury thier child, in one year the parents of over 5000 children did. It only took one nutcase to pull this shit here in OZ, Martyn Bryant and the government axed the lot. I feel Oz is a safe place to raise my daughter whereas guns are concerned, why can't the US wake up and work out that fear breeds fear. Only Armys and Cops need guns. If Bush can wage a war on terror then he can wage a war on guns. Prevent the manufacture of firearms with automatic or semi automatic capabilities. FA...
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