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Flashermac

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Everything posted by Flashermac

  1. As I recall, the victims reported they were offered 10,000 baht "compensation" - take it or leave it. And some had one million baht plus invested in their business.
  2. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!! I you trying to get yourself shot or something! Repeat: "It never happened."
  3. There was an internet shop that was destroyed - after the computers were removed. Wonder what happened to the washing machines at the laundry. Think there was also a travel agency. It wasn't all just beer bars and pool bars. Wonder which six business owners are being compensated. There were a lot more people who lost everything than just six.
  4. A rancher died and left everything to his young and devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand quickly agreed and went into town on a Saturday night. He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
  5. << THey are now have a technology where they make an infected sperm uninfected. Even in Thailand we have that technology. No problem to have babies anymore. >>
  6. Great to hear. Your situation has no doubt been a wake up call to a lot of other guys.
  7. You happened to be sober at that moment? Or maybe they didn't realise you're Irish? p.s. I've heard that if an expat tests positive for HIV here, he'll be denied a visa extension. No idea if that's true, and even if it were there'd probably be a way around it.
  8. Two Taliban spies met in a busy restaurant after successfully slipping into the United States. The first spy started speaking in Arabic. His comrade quickly hushed him. He whispered, "Idiot! Don't blow our cover! You're in California now. Speak Spanish."
  9. A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland said to a priest who sat next to her, "Father, may I ask a favour?" "Of course," he replied. "What can I do for you?" "Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my mother's birthday. It is unopened and it's over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me?" "I would love to help you, but I must warn you. I will not lie." "With your honest face, Father, no one will question you." When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare." The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?" "I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is to date unused." Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father."
  10. Shit happens: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honda_Point_Disaster
  11. Get another test! One of the Nanapong DC winners a few years ago was devastated to get told she was HIV positive. The guys took her to Bamrungrad for more tests. Turned out she had diabetes. I also heard of a guy who got a positive result here in Thailand and went back to the States for a second test. The US test was negative. But even if it is positive, with modern medication you can keep the HIV from becoming active for decades. You can still live a normal life span despite it. What's the basketball player's name, Magic Johnson? How many years has it been and his HIV is not active. And some years down the road, there may well be a cure for it. Good luck and God bless.
  12. A man had just settled into his window seat on a plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and promptly placed his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat between them. The man looked quizzically at the dog and asked why it was allowed on the plane. The stranger explained that he was a DEA agent, and that this was a highly trained drug-sniffing dog. "His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work." The plane took off, and once it had leveled, the agent said turned and said, "Watch this." He told Sniffer to search. Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, "Good boy!" He turned and said, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will arrest her when we land." "That's pretty neat" replied the first man. Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to his seat, and placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police." "I like it!" said his seat mate. The agent then told Sniffer to search again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a while, sat down for a moment, then came racing back to the agent. Sniffer jumped into the middle seat and began crapping all over it! The first man was outragged out by this behavior and asked the agent, "What the hell is going on?" The agent replied quite nervously, "Sniffer just found a bomb!"
  13. Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Baptist and a Methodist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship. All of them drowned, and next thing you know, they were standing before St. Peter. First in line was the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly and said, "I can't let you in. You were moral and upright, but you loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny." St. Peter waved sadly, and poof! Down the chute to the 'Other Place' they went. Then came the Baptist. "Sorry, can't let you in either," said Saint Peter. "You abstained from liquor and dancing and cards, but you loved food too much. You loved food so much, you even married a woman named Candy!" Sadly, St. Peter waved again, and wham! Down the chute went the Baptists. The Methodist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "This doesn't look too good, Fanny."
  14. Down in Georgia, Bubba called a lawyer and asked him, "Is it true they'uns is suin' them cigarette companies fer causin' people to git cancer?" "Yes, it's true," said the lawyer. "And ah hear someone is suin' them fast food restaurants fer makin' 'em fat an' cloggin their arteries with all them burgers and fried chicken. Is that so, Mista Lawyer?" "Yes, it is." "And that lady what sued McDonalds fer millions when she spilt hot coffee what she ordered?" "Yep, it's true." "An' that football player that sued that university when he gradiated and still couldn't read and write?" "You've got," said the lawyer. "But why are you asking all this anyway?" "Well, ah got thankin'. Now what ah want to know is kin ah sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women ah done slept with?"
  15. An atheist was walking through the woods one day. "What majestic trees," he said. "What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" As he was walked along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes. He turned and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging straight at him! The man ran as fast as he could, but when he looked over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him. Suddenly, the man tripped and fell. The bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right to strike him. The Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came from the sky. "You have denied my existence for many years, teaching others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you now expect me to help you out? Am I to count you suddenly as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be treated to be as a believer now, but perhaps You could make the bear a Christian." "Very Well," said the voice, and the light vanished. The sounds of the forest resumed. The bear brought both paws together, bowed its head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty. Amen."
  16. A lot of folks can't understand how the US came to have an oil shortage. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in: - Alaska - California - Coastal Florida - Coastal Louisiana - Kansas - Oklahoma - Pennsylvania - and Texas. Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington,DC.
  17. Chuwit got his BA at Thammasat, but did his graduate studies in the US. It may have been there that he absorbed the American way ... pattern yourself after the Kennedy family???
  18. Some were off duty soldiers -- who just happened to belong to the unit commanded by the officers who were found "not guilty".
  19. As I recall, the victims were offered 10,000 baht to sign an agreement not to press charges. They all rejected it, stating they had over 1,000,000 baht each involved in their businesses. Seems they had indeed been paying rent, but not to the actual owner - which they did not realise. Something similar happened to an ex-colleague, who wondered why he was getting very nasty looks from his neighbour. Then his landlord finally told him that he had sold the house to the neighbour 6 months earlier! He just hadn't bothered to inform the renter and kept accepting the rent. ::
  20. It was an early morning raid, pure and simple. There was no due process at all. By law, if Chuwit wanted them off he had to go to court and get an order confirming his ownership and giving them proper notice -- and time -- to remove their property and vacate the premises. Instead, the Gestapo like raid took place. Notice that there was a internet cafe -- and all of the PCs were removed before demolition. The same happened with belongings in other businesses. (There was a laundromat and a travel agency.) That was out and out robbery. As to the "beautiful park", remember that Chuwit wanted to build a hotel on the site, since Bangkok has such a serious shortage of hotel rooms. If you look at the park, you'll see that the rear of the property is undeveloped. It would be quite easy some time down the road to build a hotel back there and use the "park" as the landscaped access area. TIT
  21. << However, charges of damaging property, intrusion, illegal detention and forcing others to act against their will against Chuwit, Lt-Colonel Himalai Phewphan of the Supreme Command, Army Major Thanyathep Thamathorn and 126 others were dismissed by the court on the grounds that the plaintiffs' testimonies did not carry enough weight. >> Precisely! Who is going to take the word of bar owners over that of a multi-millionaire politician?
  22. Poor little fella. Those nasty Thais are picking on criminals again. << "He learned to speak, read and write Arabic and Farsi to add to his Thai and Spanish," Drake said. >> Yeah, right. Let's give him a written test in the languages.
  23. Maybe a helium filled condom tied to one of the tables?
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