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  1. Wwwhhhhhooooooooofffffffffffffff thump squids - this is a deep dish of jive you need to get hip to and I'm gonna pull those coat tails for ya. Well there's been a deplorable dearth in reviews of the Thai P4P scene - it all appears to be travelogue and advertainment. A soulless advert for a world that bears no relation to reality. No gritty nitty - so in order to set things right this roundup is exclusively for Thai360 members. First of all the Salty Gobb, located on soi 7/2, only a jism's arc from - the did God just fart on my dick? with the random sodomy organisation known as Eden. Here for a measly 300 baht you'll get all the juice sucked from your balls by two girls tag teaming. Little known - so a great tip for those punters that need to be told where to go. Whilst on the subject of the big ๗, there is a charming restaurant called Fabattoir, where you dispatch your meal yourself before the option of bbq or hotpot. Great atmosphere and I always call in there after a night of clubbing with some young impressionable Thai uni chick. Nothing charms it seems as much as smashing a chickens face off - with a velvet hammer. Talking of clubbing, you really can't go past the สถานีห้วยขวาง Huai Khwang district where if you walk into the LampLit bar you'll be one of very few Farangs who can only be allowed in if you allow the Thai doorman to give you a a fat lip - well worth it, when you see the uni girls on offer. Where it really shines is in the knob out room - you sip your cocktail and the uni girls inspect the goods. I have to say it's become a real haunt of mine. Closer to home of course is soi cowboy and you can't go past Jettisons where there is no floor in the club (jet air propulsion is used to hover the girls above the bar) - mainly popular with Japanese business men, I enjoy the spectacle of watching them while they themselves are watching those twats with a laser focus - well one has to have a hobby these days. Ooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo, still getting those flashbacks but, Nana seems to have entered dementia phase with the opening of the Dreamy Twat where the principle entertainment appears to be a show featuring a fat weeping bitch playing with toys. C'mon! In brighter news further down soi 4 the new bar The Steven Seagal Baby Collective have a bomb made of jazz, feathers and G-strings, with the ingenious idea of having boozy girls singing naked strip hop. Also there's a new type of freelancer, as mad as a crab on telly - will do anything, *anything*, and my advise would be find 'em, fuck 'em and flee. Mind that, simple to remember FFF. If you check out the streets of Bangkok at 3am you may spot johnny depp and his monkey bitch firing their cannon dogs around with a compressed air mortar, they're vegetarian, and will obediently come back once fired. Well that's just the entree, I've barely got into the meat and spunk of the matter, but it's nighty night 360 heads. Recently I've been doing everything in slow motion, to a very plush standard. It's a slow tax dodge, or holiday - more news from the simpering idiot soon. Cheers.
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