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How NOT to get laid in Jakarta


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Hi All,


Mods : not sure if this belongs in nightlife or what - sorry ..


If you want sex in Jakarta, its not a difficult proposition, as the long running Jakarta thread will attest. If, however, you'd like to spend a considerable period without anything resembling satisfying vaginal sex, please allow me to layout a battle plan:


1. Have a GIG meet you at 8am on your first morning in town, and watch you like a hawk for the rest of the week.


2. Wait until the monsoon floods her parents house and forces her to go home for the day.


3. Scour the old posts for 'Lokasari Plaza', then take a mind-numbing 30 minute plus cab ride to that location. Ignore all warnings regarding its sleazy nature.


4. Tell yourself that its just research - you wont actually be partaking of anything on the menu.


5. Allow the only tout who approaches you to lure you inside.


6. Squint into near total darkness at what appears to be 50 girls jammed onto couches as you hang grimly onto your wallet.


7. Get in the room, marvel at her taut body, and think 'Wow ! And only 150K rupiah !'. Know that nothing this *good* is this cheap.


8. Express no particular surprise when she tells you that you are 'very big' = 'I'll bet you say that to ALL the guys' ...


9. Spend about 5 minutes in a frustrating attempt to insert shaft A into Slot B, then stop and take a closer look at slot B. Realise that it seems to have been built for a significantly smaller shaft (it was, and I hope it will remain, the smallest opening I have ever laid eyes on - how the hell is she going to have a child ?).


10. Acknowledge that your attempts are causing another human being genuine pain, and that you feel like a complete loser sex tourist.


11. Thank the girl for her efforts to manually achieve the desired result, dress quickly and leave.


12. Spend another 30 minutes in an even hotter return journey.


I am seriously considering dispensing with sex completely. Faced with a GIG who doesnt grasp that one is not actually a 'virgin' if one takes it up the proverbial, and whose oral sex technique seems to consist of taking the first 3 layers of skin off my penis, I really cant see the point. I went down to Lokasari for all the wrong reasons, and only persisted when I saw the goods on offer - I've never done ST particularly well, and am a complete fuckup in terms of my LT 'relationships'. I would have been far happier (and safer) jerking off to porn.


Hopefully, New Years Eve in Jakarta will help alleviate the completely shitty week or so I've had thus far. Happy New Year.

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Having read a lot of what you have to say & having (i think)

a "feel" for you, you sound disappointed?

I realise that going to JKT was prob not about sex per se. ??


Whats a GIG like? worth it?in personal considerations?

Many women will keep a close eye on you..haha Thats life :)

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Hi Crofty,


Disappointed ? Man, that would be an understatement. It has just capped off a pretty shitty year, but I am reminded of something Chris Rock said in a movie I watched here the other day :


Prison is like high school - the sex you want, you aint gettin, and the sex you gettin, you aint wantin !


My GIG has done everything humanly possible to make my trip a memorable one, but my problems lay squarely with my current mid-life crisis. One of the things which keeps me coming back to the board is knowing that I am not alone in this regard.


I'll try to get a trip report out on the weekend to provide some perspective on this whole tragi-comic episode :)

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:: :: ::


Jakarta being the 10th largest planet's agglomeration (16 millions inhabitants incl Bogor /Bekasi/Depok), with a nightlife among the best and most active in the world , the girlies being whithout a doubt the most easygoing and sexually inhibited althrough Asia, and many of them being in a euro/indonesian body style (quite tall and curvaceous), I think you still have some few changes to get laid .... maybe Lokasari where the girls are underaged and in the petite/ugly range could have been avoided !!


Cheers, hope your next experiences will be better anyway, if you can/want free yourself from this so-called :: GIG :rolleyes: !!

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Hi Artiew,


sorry to hear that you didn't have the time of your life in my favourite city (not that I know too many).


For if you happen to be in need of the services offered around Lokasari Plaza (you've been to Sierra?) it's better not to hire the girls mamasan shoves in your direction but watch out for the ones who want to get your attention. Still uninspired sex, but no disappointments. Nothing compared to the sex you might get when you are free and go out to the clubs and bars.


And for the petite girls, that's the kind of girls I like. With oral stimulation and KY jelly anything goes. Not only in Jakarta.




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Hi Carlton, Prosal and Adik,


As you are all longtime Indo fans, I suspected that my post would provoke a reaction. As I mentioned to Adik, it was not my intention to cast a negative light on any aspect of Jakarta nitelife - I dug my own grave and got to lie in it. My motives for visiting Jakarta were somewhat different to those of the hardcore Sanuker, and my mistake was to attempt to assume that role when my GIG returned to her mothers home. I need to compile my trip report to give you guys a better idea of my experience - I honestly feel that I've seen more of Jakarta in the last 8 days than many locals see in a year ! Whether some areas are on the list of 'desirable destinations' is another matter, but I've got one morning left in this crazy town, so I'll catch you all later :)





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Sorry to hear the one negative experience, but as you say it isnt a complete tableaux of your time there. I commend you for dating the GIG; I myself have dated several and find them excellent companions (I hope that I didnt just make them sound like a pet though!). As the guys say, there are plenty of opportunities out there, so go and muck in and find a good GFE from one of the hotter nightspots. Or if you are really game, try the Dangdut discos on Jl Blora, someone tells me they really do go off! Looking forward to more of your tales.





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