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It fucking hurts


skirtlifter

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Skirt,

Been at it for 4 yrs with the same gal. Have put her through M3, M6, and now Uni.

YES, I met her dancing on a poll at G-Spot so she was a Bar Girl.

She is young has no children so I am the focus...guess I never would have chosen a girl with kids as I think it starts on eoff behind the eight ball.

Family? I made it VERY clear to her for the get go that I would take care of her and NOT the rest of the family. She belives now as I do. YOUNG MEN LIKE HER FATHER SHOULD WORK!!!!!! They should support their families and not let their daughters become prostitutes at the age of 15!!!!! IMHO, any girl that wants to support the family is nothing but a slave and needs some work on the old self-esteem.

Fidelity? She, being an ex bar girl has a pretty good understanding of the male animal. As long as I do not have a mia noi (No dating) it is "ok" to take them short time....and if she wants to go boink a guy it is no sweat off my ass. We are honest about this shit with eachother. Thinking one or the other will be faithful over a lifetime is a ridiculous assumption. It is not fucking around that is the cause of breakup, it is the dishonesty that can surround it.

Also, Pang knows that I woudl have no problem showing her the door. I have been that way from day one. Certainly I love her and I would miss her but if she did some shit I could not tolerate then that would be that.

"All women are whores and all men are consumers" Oktober

GS

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but then she began drifting back to past habits.

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Not sure what others answered, just picking your first post, but you have tried, have shown dedication and she made her own choice: let her drift back. There is a lot better waiting for you than that. Just count the memories, learn the lesson and move on.

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Thinking one or the other will be faithful over a lifetime is a ridiculous assumption.

 

This depends on the persons! Ok, a lifetime is long, but as long as both are able to have sex, why not?

 

There are people who prefer to have sex with the partner only, mainly because they prefer sex with love to sex without love.

 

You are happy to be free to have other sex partners, that's fine. Just don't assume that all people are like this.

 

Best regards

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I disagree somewhat with that, from the perspective of if you only look at fulfiling a woman's financial needs then you have done your job.

 

I agree JJ, Josh was emphasizing her financial needs. Yes there are social needs as well but in some cases no matter how much you put in emotionally it may never be enough.

 

Your not in a 50/50 relationship at this point. Yes it takes 2 people to make it work but one person is going to have to work harder than the other. I hope your up to it.

 

Well said.

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You wrote-

"You are happy to be free to have other sex partners, that's fine. Just don't assume that all people are like this."

 

Yes, we are ALL like this at one time or another. When w first fall in love we think that we can never want another but we are MEN and men are genetically programmed to spread the seed far and wide....so no matter how much you think you are "in love" now, at some point you will find yourself doinking another, especially if you line in Tland.

The problem lies in men that LIE to women. I will have sex with you and only you for the rest of my life. Many of the gals here will take you at face value, as most things in Tland are taken at face value, so if you say you are nto going to fuck around and do she wants to kill you. If you just would have shot straight with her from the get go she would be ok with it as well. JUST KEEP YOUR WORD. It is VERY important to Thai ladies, even more so than Farangs.

One of the reasons it is great to be in Tland is to be away from all of the that Western drivel about what feminists say that love is.

GS

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>but all relationships are two-way streets, and the bottom line is if she ain't committed nothing he does can save the situation.

 

Oh, I agree with this 100%. I suppose what I am trying to get at is that even if the girl *is* comitted, there are *still* huge hurdles to over come. You are both comming from "different places" so to speak, and even with commitment (both sides) there can still be massive mis-comunication problems that errode away at the relationship.

 

Clearly, if the girl in question stayed with it for six( IIRC) months, she showed *some* commitment, however, there is probably an issue *somewhere* that has not been resolved.

 

>Many TGs with farang BF/hubbie have absolutely no financial need to be on the game but old tricks die hard and many simply can't *comepletely* give it up.

 

 

Yes, and well, no. Sure there are *some* girls who can't, but there again there are other girls who would drop the scene like a hot potato if they *really* could. In my (limited) experince, there are HUGE pressures on these girls from all sides. Family, kids, "friends" etc. We say to them : come out, drop your income by a factor of (use yuor own pet value here) and all will be well. All will *not* be well. We see a "family" as "the two of us", they see it as (often) 100+ people many who live in pretty abject poverty. This is what I mean about "comming from different places". We can't even understand each other as to what we mean by a term like "family"!! Then we compound the problem: Tell those leeches they arn't getting a satang off me! Easy. Except that *every* time you are out the door, they are on the phone: "Lek is sick, papa is beating the crap out of everyone cause he can't buy any booze, the chickens have all died, and we have only eaten rice for the last four days......" And the girl is there completely jammed in the middle.

 

-j-

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>I disagree somewhat with that, from the perspective of if you only look at fulfiling a woman's financial needs then you have done your job

 

Agree with this as well. Finances *are* important (and can often be a killer..). But other things are as well. If I had to sum up in one word what I though you had to give a bg to create a sucessful relationship (and we are talking about one where both parties want it to work), that one word would be : Hope.

 

Especially hope for the future, that you *will* be there in 5, 10 or 15 years. That you *are* committed to her, and not looking to trade in at a later date. Give her this, and she *will* stay and work it out...

-j-

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but we are MEN and men are genetically programmed to spread the seed far and wide....

 

Just not true!!! Some men are genetically programmed to spread the seed far and wide. But also some women are genetically programmed to be unfaithful. You make the mistake to apply Darwin's theory to individuals only and not to populations. A population of human beings has more chances to survive if there are different genes, in this case persons who are faithful and others who aren't.

 

When w first fall in love we think that we can never want another

It doesn't matter if I am in love or not, my judgement is still the same. (Of course you don't believe me.)

 

I say it again: I prefer sex with love, i.e. as long as she loves me and wants to have sex with me I won't be tempted to sleep with another woman.

Of course if she stops to love me, I would feel free to seperate me from her.

 

she would be ok with it as well

Again this depends on the person.

 

Best regards

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You wrote-

"Just not true!!! Some men are genetically programmed to spread the seed far and wide. But also some women are genetically programmed to be unfaithful. You make the mistake to apply Darwin's theory to individuals only and not to populations. A population of human beings has more chances to survive if there are different genes, in this case persons who are faithful and others who aren't. "

 

Actually the question of fidelity is more a function of female sexuality in great ape species. There is a direct correlation between the testicle size of apes and the number of males a female copulates with. Chimps are the most promiscious and will mate with up to 12 males a day. Gorillas males have no sperm competition as they keep harems and therefore have very small testicles. Humans lie somewhere in between. Therefore being faithful is not really suited to humans. Another point that supports this is a study doen on human male ejaculate volume. When a man "thinks" his parner is being unfaithful the amount of sperm in his ejaculate TRIPLES.

Human females still look for safety and security in a mate. What constitutes that for a female might be different culturally but they still are alway seeking that perfect mate. A man's task is to try to "keep" the mate he has while also seeking out new possibilities to continue his genetic line.

Up until the recent past almost all societies allowed for some sort of infidelity. In those societies the rate of divorce is low. Not that infidelity is the only reason but is warrents looking at.

I will grant you the fact that manogamy is a "choice," However I think that the high divorce rate among countries where manogamy is stressed is at least cause for exploration that this might not be the best thing for us.

Cheers,

GS

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