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Worst TV-Series Ever Made


Straycat

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Just tagging on here dudes (but Tony, the avatar! Jeez, it's da Burberry baseball cap innit? I'll race you in ma Vauxhall Nova innit bro').

 

 

Right - Emmerdale. S'not shit. I've been watching it for years (okay, not a recommendation that carries too much weight round here but fuck it). How can people can fail to be moved by the duo, surely a nod to Becket, of Amos Brearley and Mister (Henry) Wilkes? A strange relationship with homo-erotic overtones to the uninitiated, but remember Mister Wilkes' pursuit of the fair maiden Annie Sugden? I rest my case.

 

Matt of the Many Changing Wives and his doomed attempts, worthy of Sysiphus himself, to fix the fence in the "Top Ten Acre". Classic stuff.

 

Beckindale, alas, no longer exists following the air-crash of 1991. The village, led by the redoubtable Frank Tate (now sadly deceased) renamed the shattered community 'Emmerdale'. Previously the series was called Emmerdale Farm, home of the eponymous Sugden family.

 

Let us not forget that Jackie Merrick's body HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND!

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

'Coronation Street' can never be dissed. This is real social drama-documentary on an epic scale spanning as it does a Manchester community from 1960 to the present day.

 

The MacBethian trio of Martha Longhurst, Minnie Caldwell (and her cat 'Bobby') and the mighty matriarch herself -ENA SHARPLES - this, the Snug Posse as they are known around these parts exerted an influence that extended far beyond the Mission Hall (prop: Mr Leonard Swindley), Inkerman Street and the Red Rec. This mighty triumvirate and their foil, the weary war hero Albert Tatlock, became a foursome that together with the Beatles defined the Swinging Sixties and set the template for the remainder of the 20th Century.

 

Today, the echo of these stout (and stout drinking) fellows can be heard in the characters of Rita, Emily, Madge and Norris as they sit in the refurbished Rovers Return (1986 - fire in which Bet nearly died) and make a stand against the declining morals of our society - and Steve MacDonald's taxi firm.

 

 

"For God, King Harry and Betty Turpin's Hotpot"

 

I could go on but I must turn my attention to......

 

 

----------------------------------------------

 

'Eldorado'. Do you know, I hate Alan Yentob? I mean I really, really hate Alan Yentob. As soon as the beardy-weirdy slithered over from BBC2 the writing was on the wall for Eldorado.

 

I would submit to you all that this poor tottering child of a soap was cut off in its prime. It was cut down ruthlessly by that monster Yentob (speak his name only in whispers, children).

 

"Marcooooos, Marcoooooos - why you no love me Marcoooos", came the plaintive wail of Pilar (who was, let it not be forgotten, prime Spanish mega-totty. Well worth a wank over at tea-time if my mum was at the shops).

 

Gavin and err...his brother, their beach bar and the anguish that preceded the impending visit of their mother to see that they were eating enough. High drama indeed.

 

That kid with the nose fashioned from a rib - Blair he was called. His sister in the wheelchair - hey, right on folks - that's more diversity than you'll see in a whole season of Chicken Shed.

 

Yentob - may you burn in hell you bastard whilst being fucked up the arse with the tyre wrench from Marcus Tandy's sports car.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You, you.....BARBARIANS!

 

 

(Next Week - 'Prisoner Cell Block H' - The perfect symmetry of Vera Vinegar Tits versus Bea Smith. Was Lizzy Beardsworth really a grass?)

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Where's me bong?

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carew66 said:

Just tagging on here dudes (but Tony, the avatar! Jeez, it's da Burberry baseball cap innit? I'll race you in ma Vauxhall Nova innit bro').

 

 

Right - Emmerdale. S'not shit. I've been watching it for years (okay, not a recommendation that carries too much weight round here but fuck it). How can people can fail to be moved by the duo, surely a nod to Becket, of Amos Brearley and Mister (Henry) Wilkes? A strange relationship with homo-erotic overtones to the uninitiated, but remember Mister Wilkes' pursuit of the fair maiden Annie Sugden? I rest my case.

 

Matt of the Many Changing Wives and his doomed attempts, worthy of Sysiphus himself, to fix the fence in the "Top Ten Acre". Classic stuff.

 

Beckindale, alas, no longer exists following the air-crash of 1991. The village, led by the redoubtable Frank Tate (now sadly deceased) renamed the shattered community 'Emmerdale'. Previously the series was called Emmerdale Farm, home of the eponymous Sugden family.

 

Let us not forget that Jackie Merrick's body HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND!

 

------------------------------------------------------------

 

'Coronation Street' can never be dissed. This is real social drama-documentary on an epic scale spanning as it does a Manchester community from 1960 to the present day.

 

The MacBethian trio of Martha Longhurst, Minnie Caldwell (and her cat 'Bobby') and the mighty matriarch herself -ENA SHARPLES - this, the Snug Posse as they are known around these parts exerted an influence that extended far beyond the Mission Hall (prop: Mr Leonard Swindley), Inkerman Street and the Red Rec. This mighty triumvirate and their foil, the weary war hero Albert Tatlock, became a foursome that together with the Beatles defined the Swinging Sixties and set the template for the remainder of the 20th Century.

 

Today, the echo of these stout (and stout drinking) fellows can be heard in the characters of Rita, Emily, Madge and Norris as they sit in the refurbished Rovers Return (1986 - fire in which Bet nearly died) and make a stand against the declining morals of our society - and Steve MacDonald's taxi firm.

 

 

"For God, King Harry and Betty Turpin's Hotpot"

 

I could go on but I must turn my attention to......

 

 

----------------------------------------------

 

'Eldorado'. Do you know, I hate Alan Yentob? I mean I really, really hate Alan Yentob. As soon as the beardy-weirdy slithered over from BBC2 the writing was on the wall for Eldorado.

 

I would submit to you all that this poor tottering child of a soap was cut off in its prime. It was cut down ruthlessly by that monster Yentob (speak his name only in whispers, children).

 

"Marcooooos, Marcoooooos - why you no love me Marcoooos", came the plaintive wail of Pilar (who was, let it not be forgotten, prime Spanish mega-totty. Well worth a wank over at tea-time if my mum was at the shops).

 

Gavin and err...his brother, their beach bar and the anguish that preceded the impending visit of their mother to see that they were eating enough. High drama indeed.

 

That kid with the nose fashioned from a rib - Blair he was called. His sister in the wheelchair - hey, right on folks - that's more diversity than you'll see in a whole season of Chicken Shed.

 

Yentob - may you burn in hell you bastard whilst being fucked up the arse with the tyre wrench from Marcus Tandy's sports car.

 

------------------------------------------------------------------

 

You, you.....BARBARIANS!

 

 

(Next Week - 'Prisoner Cell Block H' - The perfect symmetry of Vera Vinegar Tits versus Bea Smith. Was Lizzy Beardsworth really a grass?)

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Where's me bong?

 

 

Next time you visit outpatients ask the orderly for the ones that make you peaceful instead of the happy ones.

 

Cheers

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It says on the packet '1 x 30mg Daily'. Bollocks. They're freakin' great with a few beers and a smoke.

 

Pah - what do they know eh? Doctors? fuckin' charlatans the lot of 'em (and I ain't talking Tim Burgess).

 

If my doctor is reading this board (and I bet you are, I can spot a Thailand visitor a mile away in a thick fog ya bastard) then may I say this:

 

"You are not half the General Practitioner that Doctor Legg from East Enders was. Ask Dot Cotton"

 

"Or Doctor Parker-Brown from the 70's hospital series 'General Hospital'"

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Thank you for the spirited and eloquent defence of Emmerdale. You saved me the trouble. And now for a little known fact.....Emmerdale gets very high ratings among the Thai community of Greater Manchester. They may not understand all the language but they pick up on the nuances. Throw in a 'phee' or two and you have a winner. :)

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'The Sullivans' was the business as well. Mrs Mangle (pre-Neighbours) was in that.

 

Awww - Sileakhunt! I've got the theme tune from Young Doctors going around in my head now, you get!

 

I'd phone you up later and sing it to you so that you can share my pain, but i don't think I can find the phone in here.

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Emmerdale is shite,Emmerdale Farm was a classic.

in the early 70's i spent a lot of time off School and i got hooked on EF......memories.

also sad to say i liked Crossroads with Amy Turtle,Shugie McFee,Miss Diane and good old Benny.

 

crap shows include American re-makes of classic British comedy shows and all the makeover shows which have sprung up all of a sudden.

too many to think off to pick one though.

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