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You've heard pros and a great number of cons. Far be it for me to get in the way of true love. If you are going to do it, then do it right. You live in Los Angeles if I'm not mistaken. The Thai area of Los Angeles is in the San Fernando valley, North Hollywood area on Sherman Way and Lankershim I believe. May be best to go there ahead of time and meet some folks and at least prepare a way for her. Bear in mind though

that there can still be social disctinctions in the Thai expat communities. But at least she'll have some of the food, language and culture.

I wish you luck if you do. Think about it as much as one can when they are emotionally involved.

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i just read on another chat topic that his TGF got a tourist visa....would it be worth trying to apply for that first, or does that hurt your chances for a fiancee visa down the road?????????

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If you've been paying attention to other sections of this board I think you know you answer. DON'T DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait it out, go through a couple more then when you hit 50yrs old revisit it. Then you may be ready Sorry Man life's a Bitch and no matter what country your in then you marry one.

Later

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[ September 01, 2001: Message edited by: iono ]

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just one word of warning. I helped my friend's thai wife by introducing her to other thai people. It nearly broke their marriage, she started going out with her hew thai g/fs, coming home at 4am, etc... It's ok now, she wisened up, but make sure she meets people thru some kind of thai temple organization, and not just any young woman ready to party thru the night. The worse thing that can happen is that you would be the only thing american in her life (plus mucho TV), while she'd revert to a cultural thai frame in all other matters. thais have indeed a strong identity and as you say, you don't want her to get bored with the USA, because of enjoying so much a semblance of thai life in LA. IMO

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pattaya127

thanks for the advice...i never really considered that possibility of getting too involved in the thai culture here in LA...but i'm sure it would be be easy to do since she only speaks moderate english at this point.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It is interesting to read your story , i too have a similar one - we all have read similar stories as well - none of us go there to find love we are just looking for good sex for not very much money and then we fall in love my journey towards the fiance visa has been a more tortuous route via the divorce courts and losing a shed full of money but i dont have any regrets yet either - you just have to follow your heart in these things and just be careful -- of course its a gambol but if you only play with money you can afford to lose then what is the problem , like you say if you dont follow it through then you may regret it - as for being perfect then she wont be that - i concur with the other poster that the bar release fee was a load of shit and i think you know that really -- but are you perfect - really all of us have used economic power over women to have sex with them and i dont think anyone if they give it real thought can say that is a good thing to do -- you can go down the suspicious route and get all paranoid and involve Stickman etc i did all that and had my girl watched several times - they never caught her but that cant be conclusive and if they had then i would probably have forgiven her anyway and so might you -- what you have to do is to be on guard , go back as soon as you are able without fucking up your life or prejudicing your career or anything -- just test her out - watch how she is whether she does anything nice other than when you are in bed - if she has really chosen you in her heart and she believes you are genuine in your advances and properly commited then you will notice changes because she will want to show you that you are special to her -- don't take too much notice of the guys who want to pour cold water on your enjoyment - many of the bar girls have real emotions and do fall in love but dont expect too much too soon and dont really believe that you are the only one because that position will take a long time to achieve - remember like you have all the doubters telling you that it isn't real she has a whole posse of people teling her that you will get fed up and lose interest in her etc - there will be plenty of people jealous of her and her "catch" because that is what you are - you are not old or ugly and you represent a better future for her particularly coming from the US - dont worry about finding her Thai friends - worry more about getting her educated because once she has learnt to be fluent in your language she will happily integrate into your society and if you love each other truly and its not just lust then you will both be happy just to be - interesting that one guy who replied to you said that they all tell you that they only worked bar for a couple of months -- well that isnt true my girl told me it was over 2 years and she has never said that she hated it either she said that she did it for the money and met many nice guys - still wears the expensive watch that he bought her and has told me about quite a few guys that came back to see her and even let me look at her internet account -- it hurt me a lot when i read it but i learned a great deal from it -- dont ever sterotype anyone or listen to anyone who tries to do it - there are as many different personalities working the bars over there as there are guys that visit them

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quote:

Originally posted by Honeyman:

none of us go there to find love we are just looking for good sex for not very much money really all of us have used economic power over women to have sex with them and i dont think anyone if they give it real thought can say that is a good thing to do --

It also happens that some guys are naturally inclined to enjoy the company of a girl and get in a relationship. Thank God! Not everyone goes there thinking about sex only, And not every love-making in LOS involves money.

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  • 2 weeks later...

just an update...i have stayed in touch with her...i call her once every sunday, and occasionally during the week. she has started taking english class, and i have already noticed her english getting better. it amazes me, i must say, that a girl who i don't know that well, yet when i talk to her feel like i've known for years. she comes up with some of the sweetest things to say to me, which totally surprises me because she doesn't know english very well. i have sent her some money, mainly because i know she makes less money when she is not working in the bar. i believe her, because i call at night sometimes and she os always at home. i think she is bored but feels better that she doesn't havr to work in the bar. i am going back in november. maybe i could meet some of you expats over there for a drink...

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