Another Sinsot thread

[Guest]

Hi MB,

 

My g/f has been to 4 Thai/Thai weddings in the last year. 3 had 1/2 million as sinsot+ gold, and one was 1 million. The 1 million was a relative of Taksin, so was to be expected.

 

Thanks for your examples, though. It's exactly what I'm looking for.

 

HT

[soongmak]

I recently talked to an acquaintance of mine who also married a thai lady. Her parents were upper middle class, her father was a sort of mayor of his town (poo yai baan?), and he didn't want to pay a sinsod. The parents were okay with this. He had to foot the bill for the wedding party, and that set him back about 750,000 baht.

[Guest]

Hi Songmaak,

 

<<<<<He had to foot the bill for the wedding party, and that set him back about 750,000 baht.>>>>

 

A US$20,000 Thai wedding, with no sin sot involved? How in the hell was that explained to the guests? Or was it just a hibachi, with some chicken wings, and a few cases of beer sing, in the front yard? Me thinks he paid sin sot maak maak, in the end.

 

HT

[dsab]

I married a Thai Woman last October. She was at that time 25, has a master degree, studied in the US and Australia, and her family is quite wealthy. You could probably call her a High Society Girl.

 

The SinSot was 1 million Baht in cash plus some baht of gold. The money hasn`t been paid back to me, as we got a nice wedding present in exchange, but I know that her parents gave her the money for bad times. I am not supposed to know of it.

 

In exchange Dad footed almost the complete bill of the wedding.

 

I attended a big thai wedding in Chiang Mai last week. The groom was Thai and from Samui. Parents own some hotels and properties and a car dealership in the south. They are quite well off (my guess). The bride was the daughter of a well known Thai Business Man. SinSot was 5 million baht plus a BMW 5 Series. I had to look a few times at the money. It came in cash.

 

Another recent wedding I attanded was in BKK. Bride and Groom were both from good middle class background. SinSot was 750000 Baht. The funny part is that they are both gay. :-) That`s probably the reason they are moving abroad now.

[Guest]

Hi dsab,

 

Great post. Thank you.

 

>>>>The money hasn`t been paid back to me, as we got a nice wedding present in exchange, but I know that her parents gave her the money for bad times. I am not supposed to know of it.<<<<

 

How do you feel about that? I would think pleased, for sure. But how did you feel about paying initially? Did you deal directly with g/f's family, or did you do through g/f only?

 

HT

[BelgianBoy]

exchange Dad footed almost the complete bill of the wedding.

 

dsab,

 

Thanks for the post, but the above line has me well intrigued......

 

Actually, with all (money)presents coming to a wedding, at the very end, a wedding is paying itself and one can actually make money ! ( I am not talking village weddings here, ok ? )

 

Point in case is a farang friend of mine who married a general's daughter, wedding party of 600 guests in Shangri La in BKK presided by 2-3 ministers.

All paid for by my friend.

End of the day, after paying for all, he had 300K Bt still in his pocket !

Did he pay sinsot ? Yes, with a cheque, which was returned to them at the end of the day.

 

BB

[dsab]

At first I was worried about the SinSot Issue, but her parents were very nice and took away any reservations I had about it. They explained properly how it works, what it is all about, and that they don`t need the money, and for sure don`t wanna make a quick buck out of it. My mum in law even gave me a book about the SinSot Tradition for me to read (yeah, there are even books about it, but it was in Thai).

 

They just wanted to keep face, and it seems as if the SinSot is very much part of a proper thai-style wedding. And to be honest, it seemed as if my gf was pleased as well. As stupid as it sounds, she likes to be worth 1 million baht. We are still sometimes kidding about it.

 

And when Dad told us our wedding present (a new built house), it wsn`t difficult anymore. So we just saw it as our share towards our new home.

[dsab]

The reason behind that was, that my wife and I hated the idea of a big wedding. Our ideal wedding was in a small circle with very close friends and family somewhere romantic on the beach. That`s what we really wanted.

 

As I had just moved to BKK, not rich myself Money was of course a consideration as well. We didn`t want to burn our money. At that time I didn`t know that you can make money out of a wedding.

 

After long discussions with my and her family her dad made us the offer, that if we agree to a big thai-style wedding, he would foot the bill. We reluctantly agreed to please the families. But that meant that he would more or less dictate the list of guest. I didn`t know 80 % of the people, and many I never met again.

 

But to be honest, I wouldn`t wanna miss it again. It was great.

 

And yes, in the end we made some money, but that we used partly for a special gift for both of our parents.

[think_too_mut]

dsab said:

At first I was worried about the SinSot Issue, but her parents were very nice and took away any reservatins I had about it. They explained properly how it woks, what it is all about, and that they don`t need the money, and for sure don`t wanna make a quick buck out of it. My mum in law even gave me a book about the SinSot Tradition for me to read (yeah, there are even books about it).

 

They just wanted to keep face, and it seems as if the SinSot is very much part of a proper thai-style wedding. And to be honest, it seemed as if my gf was pleased as well. As stupid as it sounds, she likes to be worth 1 million baht. We are still sometimes kidding about it.

 

And when Dad told us our wedding present (a new built house), it wsn`t difficult anymore. So we just saw it as our share twards our new home.

 

 

With your previous post:

 

>The SinSot was 1 million Baht in cash plus some baht of gold. The money hasn`t been paid back to me, as we got a nice wedding present in exchange, but I know that her parents gave her the money for bad times. I am not supposed to know of it.

 

 

So, the sinsot went into their house they paid off with your contribution.

Can you sell that house if you don't like it, pocket the money and buy a new one?

[pattaya127]

I alluded a bit to that earlier, but it's not just the sin sod that's on the table in many of these cases.

 

Just looking, hearing around me, there are now a lot of farangs (thais too, of course) who keep "paying the bar", after sin sod, even though they married a GTG whose family is doing OK.

 

For guys who are happy to keep doing so, and have the means to buy brother a motobi', take Mom and sisters on holyday to Phuket with them, etc....fine, but I am sure some are starting to ask themselves what they got into, by minimizing the importance of money compared to that great love they paid/fought for to keep.

 

Sorry for the "bar" allusion. Maybe out of context, but when all is said and done, it is still about people expecting a farang's generosity, as if that was also a function of being married into a thai family. I am talking more than 200$ a month here.

 

I am sorry to say that, as romantic as i am, my instincts of conservation are stronger than my need for a family ( which i already have, anyway).

 

I believe people everywhere can be happy without deserving any undue stress coming from money expectations, and that is what i loathe in these "sinsod and after" examples. There is no love in them and no proof of love either. Money has never proved love, it just proves commitment to ownership of the thing bought. Blunt, but IMO, again.