Ex GF and ethical dilemma

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"Then why would you conclude the BF is at risk ? OP stated that during his long relation with her he ALWAYS used condoms, why assume the present BF does not ?"

 

Condoms break, or are forgotten in the heat of passion. All it possibly needs is one fuck up (no pun intended).

 

Sanuk!

[BelgianBoy]

KS,

 

Fully agreed, but continuing my line of thougths, what rights does OP has to break her privacy rights ????

 

BB

[khunsanuk]

Hi,

 

"what rights does OP has to break her privacy rights"

 

I would say that possibly saving a life (multiple ones?) supercedes her privacy rights in this case.

 

Sanuk!

 

PS Before anybody brings it up, identifying a girl on an open board like this is *not* the same thing, as I am sure you can understand.

[Guest lazyphil]

This guy should assume she is HIV regardless and both get check out for all STD's before unprotected sex. 1 in 60 Thais are HIV positive so I wouldn't feel guilty not telling anybody!

[Nervous_Dog]

KS - trouble with the "I'm savng someones life" by telling is akin in my books to a lynch mob attitude (ok a bit extreme) but without proper councilling, these are very fragile issues to raise, especially by some ex.

 

 

I stick to my line, I'd be badgering her to tell him, otherwise, if they practise safe sex, it's not my concern.

 

Phil, O think every one should assume that someone from teh pay 4 play sector is HIV+, therefor if they aren't practising safe sex, is telling them really going to make a difference?

 

AND

 

If he loves her as much as the previous BF seemd to (and obviously cares about her) who's to say what action will follow, will he stop seeing her? Will he think the ex BF is full of shit and jelous and just wants to get back with her?

 

To many unknown variables to get involved.

 

KS - much for the same reason of not putting photo's up, telling the bf would be the same.

 

DOG

[pattaya127]

if you tell him that the new BF will dump her? ...tough one

--------------------------------------------

Is that what it's all about? I cannot believe i read this. There is a lot more at stake and i don't believe it's a subject about keeping a BF or not. next, we might argue that by keeping one unaware BF (i am sure she did not tell him), she won't dump him and then there is only one at risk......

I dunno, guys, i can't feel along those lines about an epidemic.

 

BB, LP mention he should know, since she met him working. If we go along this too, then all the comraderie we have here on NP becomes very shallow and without little value. We do provide a lot of infos and people are very happy to be made aware of certain things and subjects about nightlife in LOS.

Though they should know, since it's a P4P scene, LP adds since it's Thailand. I think it's cowardly when one can make a difference in one life, not to do it. I am sorry to see LP (BB being more Devil's A) be so off-handed about this. Why bother indeed, life is to die ::.

 

We can't have a site where we share infos and advice, and when it comes to aids, just say "he should know". Everyone who plays the P4P scene knows there are moments where a good buddy, a friend could have helped kept them out of trouble. This new BF may be no NP buddy of us, but the matter is grave enough, and i personally think it concerns us a lot more that if the girls were naked, dancing last night, in SC.

 

IMO

[Guest]

>>>But its not my business now. I have never even met her boyfriend and its no longer my place to interfere in her life. <<<

 

 

i believe it is the right decision you made there, and it of course it is also not easy to live with the consequences.

 

it is easy to say that one should try to "help" the people involved, but it is often not easy to "help". the "help" might be often very unwelcome. helping means also taking further responsibility, and especially in such a fragile situation.

now, take the case of after telling the other boyfriend just pisses off - that means now first one will have to live with the consequences of breaking up a relationship, the rightful accusations of the girl, and in such a scewed up situation also with the problems of HAVING to take responsibility of the girls future, and that indefinately.

also, i regards of the other bloke: everybody is in the end responsible for himself. if he fails to get checked up together with the girl before the relationship got too serious he will have to live with the consequences.

 

AIDS does not get spread around here in thailand and in the west (areas of high awareness) because of people not exposing their, or others positive status (why should they there is a lot of discrimination around, and it reminds me a bit too much of nasty vigilantism), but by individual people ignoring simple and logic procedures known to all.

so, if the other bloke gets/got infected, it is his responsibility alone.

[AF16]

flyonzewall said:

, if the other bloke gets/got infected, it is his responsibility alone.

 

He is responsible for what he does, the girl is responsible for what she does, and the poster is responsible for what he does.

 

To me it's obvious that the bloke should get to know the truth. It's a life and death situation and the poster is in the position of make him aware of it.

 

I would first lean on the girl though, while ideally still support her in her fight against the illness.

 

If it came to having to tell, it would be about having the balls to do the 'right' thing, as the consequenses for the one telling would most likely be negative. Meassure that negative consequense against the conseqiense for the man though and the choice should be an easy call.

[Guest]

>>>If it came to having to tell, it would be about having the balls to do the 'right' thing, as the consequenses for the one telling would most likely be negative. Meassure that negative consequense against the conseqiense for the man though and the choice should be an easy call. <<<

 

 

those sort decisions are NEVER an easy call.

 

and i am not god, so i do not have the right in such a case to "measure the consequences" and that way severely interfere with other people's lives.

[soongmak]

I think it's cowardly when one can make a difference in one life, not to do it. I am sorry to see LP (BB being more Devil's A) be so off-handed about this. Why bother indeed, life is to die .

 

Although I understand your sentiments, I don't agree. Zenseless should not butt in. It is not his business anymore. Off course you could try to fight the symptoms, but it's better to cure the root of all problems, the root her being in denial. So he ruins this Rt, and then what? She's on to the next! The only thing he could do was try to convince her to get treatment, and she choose to deny her illness. "saving" this guy only serves one purpose, and that is to ease some feelings of guilt. As long as she's not ready to face her illness she will go on jeopardizing other people, and that is the sad truth. Ultimately, everybody is responsible for themselves.