Pharcyde Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 Thanks for sharing the story. If it were me, I would want to know about it. See if you can contact her present bf. Tell him, so he knows where he is at. Am sure he will appreciate it. Pharcyde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbaron Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 OK, we all know how relationships can be... What are the chances, if you tell him that the new BF will dump her? Possibly pretty high %. If he does, it'll be your fault (at least in her eyes). OTOH, If you don't tell him, chances are he'll contract HIV eventually. You don't know him, so that makes it less personal, but the end result will likely be one more HIV+ person. It's been stated (above) chances are they are using condoms, if he met her in her working days (although the OP makes no mention of her 'working bar'). Maybe the new BF thinks she's squeaky clean.. He wouldn't be the first chap fooled. (Look at me ) Tough one. I'd like to think I'd be brave enough to make the annon. phone call. Or ask a Thai girl to do it for you (less chance of being found out that way.) Be prepared to be seen as the bad guy (by the girl) if you do tell him, even if you have both of their wellbeing at heart. Chances are she won't see it that way. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shygye Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 [color:"green"] If it is to warn the new BF just to warn him against her, then I would not inform him. [/color] It is that kind of attitude that helps HIV to spread. :onfire: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 shyguy, What an infantile conclusion..... so, you want her to be tattood on her forehead "I have HIV" ????? Its her attitude of denial that is the worst risk, not the fact on not snitching on other people ! Both poster and her actual BF met her during her working days, both know the risks. Guess what I did 3-4 months after meeting my GF ( non-BG ) ? we went and had it all checked because we both had previous relations. Just basic thinking IMO. BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 Normally I am all for people minding their own business. In this case I would inform the guy in a tactful manner. We are talking about a contagious and possibly deadly disease, not a financial scam. Who knows the way fate is, the guy can contract HIV and eventually sleep with someone you love and care for, thereby infecting them. There are supposedly six degrees of separation amongst human relationhips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunsanuk Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 Hi, "What an infantile conclusion..... so, you want her to be tattood on her forehead "I have HIV" ?????" A bit harsh don't you think? I think there is a BIG difference between telling her boyfriend, who is at immediate risk!, and tattooing her forehead. I too say tell him. Sanuk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 It's a really hard one to answer. Is Zenseless from now on responsible to warn every man his ex-gf may encounter? She has dropped him and all his efforts. I am sensing a total lack of responsibility on her part. Firstly for herself then for the others. Certainly, it's new bf's responsibility to know the coordinates. If Z is in touch with her, he should advise that she informs the man. Does the new man know about Z? If he does or learns later and they make a contact and nothing is told, later discovers he's infected and going to die, what might he do? No much room for rational behavior after that. If nothing else, that goes along with those opinions Z should inform the guy. The woman said she'll kill herself when it becomes unbearable. Does she have any concerns what may happen to the others along the way? All I can see, she needs medical help. Does Z go alone or with the guy, whatever, she has to be blocked from endangering others. IMO. Brrrr. This is one of the most difficult posts I can remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 Years ago I had a mate who had warts, he fucked a girl we all knew, a very naive girl, and did it knowing he was passing the warts onto her, (he had a lot at the time) Can't tell you how annoyed we all were with him, furious he had endangered a girl who was very naive. However when it comes to HIV, which is a life threatening issue, with lots of other very difficult issues involved, I wouldn;t want to be the cause of say a "Suicide". (Being extreme I know) I don't think the arguement that he could catcch it and then infect a girl who'll infect you is valid, as I think we should all have either safe sex, or before a relaitionship without safe sex have tests done. Nowhere in the original story does it say the poster knows if they are having safe or unsafe sex. In his own relaitionship with her it seems he did! (Good!) So why assume anything is different now? Yes the new BF could get HIV and he could infect a girl who doesn't know that however. I think it's too close to playing god in some ways, would I tell? I am not sure I would, but i'd be harrassing the girl too tell him. ie "If your not have 100% safe sex you MUST tell him" If they are having safe sex, why tell him? Has Josh and Fly commented yet? (Only because I respected their opinions in the other AIDS thread) Be curious to see their and also the "AIDS myth" people have to say. Dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 KS, Yes, of course that is too harch, but in response to shyguy's comment. Remember that lepers were branded in Europe a few 100s years ago ? Then why would you conclude the BF is at risk ? OP stated that during his long relation with her he ALWAYS used condoms, why assume the present BF does not ? Remember the discussion 1 or 2 years ago ? A poster just divorced his ex-BG HIV-infected wife and posted here that she resumed her trade in Antwerp where he was living ? Majority said then NOT to interfere..... Its because of the fascinating dilemma that I joined the discussion, a bit as devils' advocate as mentionned earlier. BB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted September 21, 2004 Report Share Posted September 21, 2004 BelgianBoy said: Remember the discussion 1 or 2 years ago ? A poster just divorced his ex-BG HIV-infected wife and posted here that she resumed her trade in Antwerp where he was living ? Majority said then NOT to interfere..... BB BBoy, I remember that post. The difference is that the girl from Antwerp continued the trade as a prostitute. Seeing prostitutes on offer is a known risk. In Z's post I understood that his ex is enterining or is in a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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