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Misadventures in Pattaya


Ranger

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Another story from a couple of months ago

I am going to leave out some of the graphic details, but read on anyway as it was a bizarre 3 days in Pattaya. I had a plan to see 3-4 of my regulars and I did manage to see all of them, but not without some very strange happenings. I managed to convice G to give Pattaya another try. This was his 7th trip to Thailand and he had only been to Pattaya once and hated it. We grabbed a cab from my apartment and checked into Flipper on Soi 7 in the early afternoon. Stopped by Sabai Inn to say hello to the desk clerk that I had a date with last time. Said that she didn't have a day off this week, but wanted to see me next time. I promised to stop in tomorrow and bring her a present that I had for her. Went for a foot massage at Goldfinger and then went to Sabai Dee just to "look". My soapy gal was sitting there and I brought her out to talk. We have had an on again/off again thing going on for months and the last conversation I had with ended with her friend getting on the phone and telling me "fuck you, fuck off, etc.". She was happy to see me and when G spotted a gal he liked (wearing a see-through dress!), we all headed upstairs. My gal yelled at me a bit because "you talk too much". Last trip, I complained to the papasan that the discount card that we get at Sabai Inn cheats the girls out of money (the house still gets 600B and the girl only gets 600B, so all the "discount" comes out of the girls pocket. Of course you can tip to make up the difference, but that kind of defeats the purpose of a discount card). Anyway, she got chewed out big time for telling me about this. I asked her how many navy boys she did during the 3 days that they were in town and she said none because they didn't like her (not buying that!). We had our usual fun in the room and then came to an understanding (or so I thought), that I would see her for soapys, but not see her outside of work like we had in the past. She then tries to get me to tip her 1500B instead of the 1000B that I had always given her. Of course, I only gave her 1000B. G's gal tried to hit him up for 2000-3000B and he got her to "settle" for 1000B, but had a less than stellar experience. I wonder if the navy boys were paying more than 1000 and the gals started to get used to that? We had an hour before dinner, so I introduced G to the joys of Soi Yodsak and we did some diddling in King Kong Bar, the mother of all diddling bars. Met S and his "sand to the beach" and hit Vientiene for the usual fabulous feast. S and his gal headed for a movie, so G and I hit a couple of bars on Pattaland 2 and then a couple on Walking street. G talked to a major stunner in Vixens on Soi Diamond. This gal was an 11 on a scale of 1-10, but showed little interest. G asked her to go with him anyway and only got a laugh in response. Maybe he phrased the question wrong as he said "my friend and I are going to some bars, you want to go with us?". Maybe she thought we wanted to tag-team her or something. He then brought over another hottie and got little response from her, so we took off. Went to Hot N Cold 2 to look for my Showgirl. She was upstairs sleeping and had some sort of problem with her leg and couldn't work. I bought a drink for the small, nasty gal with the strange scars on her side and G found a shy newbie and ended up barfining her. I told the Showgirls friends to tell her that I came in and would check on her tomorrow. We then went to (name of bar deleted) to look for Miss Hardbody, one of my new regulars. She was also upstairs sleeping (did the navy boys wear all my girls out?!!!). We had drinks (cola's-more about that later) and one of the girls went upstairs to wake her up. She came down and was happy to see me and I quickly paid bar and off we went. The 4 of us hit Tonys, but the show wasn't going on, so we quickly left. The gals were hungry, so we stopped at P72 on Walking Street and fed them and then headed to the hotel. Miss Hardbody was fantastic as usual and in the morning we took the gals to the pool after sending them home to get their swim suits. G's gal was way too shy the night before and I had my gal translate to her that she needed to do certain things that didn't happen last night if she wanted to stay another day with him. We spent a couple hours playing in the pool, but G's gal wouldn't come in the water even though she had her one piece suit on under her clothes. She took the clothes off once, but quickly changed her mind and put them back on (way too shy!). G decided to give her one more chance in the room and I stayed and played in the pool with Miss Hardbody, who looked very nice in her bikini. S and his gal showed also and we escaped the heat and played in the water for another hour or so. G sent his girl on her way as she was just too damn shy and I gave Miss Hardbody the money for her barfine and she said to come get her at 9 pm. G and I went for a traditional massage at Silom Sauna. My regular gal was gone forever back to Issan, but anther gal that I knew quickly offered to be my new regular. Of course, they pushed hard for the oil massage, but we weren't "up" for that. G had never been to a BJ bar, so we visited the Pump Station on Soi Post Office. I grabbed a gal that I had seen before and G grabbed the least hideous of the remaining trolls and we went upstairs. I was very sore from my "activities" and told my gal that soft and slow was all I could handle. She complied and I used up the whole 30 minutes, but didn't have the "happy ending". She was worried that she wasn't good, but I told her it was jsut because I "had no power" and gave her the standard tip anyway. G had the "happy ending", but was now also a bit sore as his gal wasn't so gentle. I think the word "Hoover" was used. We met S and his gal at the hotel and ate some lobster on Walking Street. S and I checked E-mail and met G at Pretty Girl afterwards. He had a cutie sitting with him. 19 yr old from near Bangkok, great English and a solid 9. He barfined her and we all headed to 19th hole, an upstairs A/C pool hall bar. I left everyone there and went to grab Miss Hardbody from her bar . She was sleeping again and I sat down while I waited for a girl to run upstairs and wake her up. I didn't order a drink as I had already paid bar and was in a hurry to get back to the group. A few minutes later, the mamasan tells me that Miss Hardbody went out and she didn't know when she would be back. I said that I paid bar already and was supposed to meet her at 9. The owner comes over and gives me back the barfine and says "sorry, don't know where she is, all I can do is give you back the barfine". The owner is fom England and I talked with him quite a bit the first time I barfined Miss Hardbody and he seemed like a decent guy. Oh well, I think and head outside, not really too upset as I wasn't really planning on seeing any girl 2 days in a row anyway. One of the gals outside asks me why I am leaving without Miss Hardbody. She left, I say. No, she's upstairs and she yells upstairs and Miss Hardbody appears looking slightly sleepy. I tell her to go back in and pay bar and we go. After a few minutes, a customer comes out and tells me that the mamasan is yelling at my girl and it is an ugly scene and he left because of it. My girl comes out and says that mama and papa say that I can't go with her becasue I only drink cola and not Heinekin. What the F? I say, OK I'll go in and buy a Heinekin. I go inside and they put 4 bottles of Heinekin on my table. I say that 2 will be plenty, one for me and one for my girl. The mamasan comes over and points rudely in my face and yells "She not go with you now, she not go with you ever! You only drink cola, not Heinekin" I calmly protest that I don't like beer and I come here often and come with many friends and then not so calmly ask her if Miss Hardbody ahs a choise in whether she can go with me or not. She says "NO, I am boss, I decide who she can go with. You ask her! You ask her!" I decline to put my girl in the middle of this and noticing that I am literally the ONLY customer in the bar ask her if she can afford to lose my business and my friends business. She says "I have many customers. They drink Heinekin, not colas, I don't need you or your friends!". Now the owner walks over and I think, good now we can sort this out. WRONG. He says "pay your fucking bill and get the fuck out of my bar before I break your fucking face. Nobody talks to my wife that way". I see that I am in a no win situation and pay my bill. It is for 4 Heinekins, but I only pay for 2 and quickly leave. I am now in a very, very bad mood and decide that I will look for Miss Super Baby, who is a complete sweetheart and I know I will not have any problems. On the way back to Walking Street, Mole Girl spots me and runs out to talk to me. The guy she is with seems none too happy, but I tell him that we are just friends and he accepts that and heads back to the bar and lets us talk. I relate my bad experience to her and she says "that bullshit, customer can drink whatever he want to drink". I walk into Super Baby and my gal is dancing right by the door. I walk up to her and she says "pay bar?". I hand her 500B and she gets off the stage and quickly changes and we meet the gang playing pool (I didn't buy a drink in Super Baby, but was not thrown out of the bar!). The gang is heading to Hollywood Disco, but I am not in the mood. They talk me into going and we have a good time. G's gal keeps flirting with me and we decide that she must be a smart business woman setting up a future customer. If that was her intention, it worked and I'll stop in her bar next trip and see what happens. We stay at Hollywood and watch the whole show and then head to the hotel. Miss Super Baby improves my mood greatly and we sleep around 3 am. My phone rings and G tells me that Miss Hardbody called his room and asked if he had lady and was on her way up. Don't know for sure if she got confused what room I was in or if she was playing a game. I get dressed and go out in the hall to find her banging on G's door. She quickly comes in my room and is not happy to see Miss Super Baby in my bed. I tell her that I didn't think I would see her again after the problem at the bar. She said that after I left that she was crying and told the owner that she was quitting (this is the only bar she has ever worked and the people there are her "family") because of the way they treated her "boyfriend". Papa tells her to go get me and bring me back to the bar and he'll apologize. She spent the rest of the evening searching for me and then came to the hotel. She demanded that she wanted to stay with me tonight. I knew I was screwed, but decided that Miss Super Baby would be more mature about the situation and told her that I was very sorry and gave her 1000B and had her leave. Who knows what Miss Hardbody would have done if I had sent her away, I know it wouldn't have been pretty. It's now after 4 am and Miss Hardbody wants to go to a disco. We go to a couple and find them both closed and she doesn't like Marine or Marine 2 (too many "bad" ladies). So, we end up back on Soi 7 at a beer bar and play pool.

I drink 5 or 6 Heinekins and marvel at the irony of that. I am quite drunk and she beats me 8 games in a row. We head back to the room as the sun is coming up and don't get to sleep until 7 am as she is "horny" and basically rapes me as I can hardly move. In the morning, I give her 500B and tell her to pay bar and meet me back at the hotel at 6 pm and I didn't feel like going back to her bar. I give her my cell # just in case. G and I headed for a traditional massage. He had a great time with his gal and recommended her highly. I call Miss Super Baby to say I am sorry. Can't really tell if she is pissed off or not. After the massage, we hit several diddling bars on Soi Yodsak. At 5 pm, Miss Hardbody calls and say that she will come and see me at 1 am or 2 am and says that I guess that I am not welcome in the bar and there is still a problem. I say OK, but no later than 2 am or I find other girl. We all go for dinner at Vientiene again and S heads of to the movies again. G and I hit Super Baby to apologize to my girl in person. She is dancing and I tell her I am sorry and will buy her a drink when she is done dancing. She finishes dancing and heads for the toilet and doesn't come back out. I guess she is pissed and I can't blame her. We head out and hit Paris-a-go-go and G finds a sweetie from Chaing Mai. 18 and not a word of English, 4 days in the bar and 1 barfine according to the mamasan and the Farang owner who tells G to take good care of her. We go to play pool at Mole Girls bar and she helps interpret and G's girl plays her first game of pool ever. Mole Girl and I have a nice chat and she tells me that I am "nasty". Not sure if that was a compliment or an insult, but she announces she has a new piercing and says it's a surprise as to where it is. Next trip, I may find out. G heads back to the hotel very unsure just how shy his girl is going to be in the room. I head to Hot N Cold 2 and my Showgirl literally jumps in my arms and we spend the next 3 hours in the bar sitting together when she is not doing the show. Not sure what was wrong with her leg, but she doesn't do the candle wax show anymore because of some burns on her leg and kept massaging her leg and saying it hurt. I told her I would see her on my next trip and I think she was happy with that. Gave her 100B to buy food when I left and went back to the hotel to wait for Miss Hardbody. She calls me just before 2 and says she'll be right over and is very drunk and wants to "fuck me" and "loves me". At 3:30 am she calls again and says she is getting on motorbike and will be right there. I am begining to wonder if she is jerking me around and am a bit pissed off. Finally at 4:30 am, she calls from the lobby and comes to the room. I give her major shit and tell her that this will never happen again and if I want to see her it will be on my terms and she is never to come to my room unless I pay her barfine and take her from the bar when I decide to. She is very drunk and I tell her that she is going to make me very happy. She does and at 6 am, I take 2 Valium so I can sleep and she says that she wants to go home and wash clothes. Since I want to sleep and have to leave in the morning, I let her go and give her 1000B. She wants 500 more since I only gave her 500 yesterday. I told her that since she showed up at 4:30 and I was quite sure no barfine was paid, that 1000B was all she was getting. She accepted that and I went over the "rules" again and we decided that I would send a friend in to barfine her next time so we wouldn't have any fighting at the bar. G had a great time with his Chaing Mai gal and she was not at all shy. We hopped in a cab and now I have to leave for the airport to go to Cambo.

I can't wait to get back to Pattaya and see what will happen next! Life is still good!

P.S. I have since made peace at Miss Hardbody's bar, so I won't mention the name.

 

Ranger

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Hi,

Ranger said:

"P.S. I have since made peace at Miss Hardbody's bar, so I won't mention the name."

You sure about that? I drink cokes as well (don't drink alcohol), and if a barowner/mamasan would tell me I *have* to drink beer or otherwise I am not welcome there, then I will make damn sure everybody and his grandmother knows about it. Nor will I ever set foot in that bar again.

Anyway, your decision.

BTW, did they give any rational explanation as to why you should drink beer instead of cola? I am pretty sure they make just as much, if not more, on a coke as they do on a beer.

Sanuk!

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KS,

I'll second that!

Ranger,

If things really happened the way you said they did (and I don't doubt you) then I would like to know which bar this is so I can avoid it. If anyone treated me like that then I would politely pay the bill and leave but I would then make sure everybody knew all about it so the assholes didn't get the chance to treat anyone else like shit that way!

Nothing surprises me in LOS but I did find this way out of line and I really would like to know which place this is. How could you make peace with the guy after that?

Anyway, your call, if you don't want to say then I'll respect that but I hope you change your mind!

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I think the "logic" behind the cola vs Heineken is that guys that drink colas may only have one, while beer drinkers are likely to have many. Of course, this still makes no business sense because businesses need "small" customers too and there actually is probably more profit in a Coke than a Heineken anyway. I think the mamasan was a bit drunk that night and apologies have since been made. However, I was there last night and took Miss Hardbody and she was such a pain in the ass that I will not be seeing her again (even though she is fantastic between the sheets). There are just too many other girls around with great attitudes to put up with all the crap. So, I doubt that I will ever venture into this bar ever again and wouldn't have on principle before if I didn't like this girl so much.

Ranger

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Ok, here's the story of why I won't be seeing Miss Hardbody anymore or setting foot in her bar ever again. I still don't feel good about naming the bar as it could potenially cause me some trouble

I ended up having a fantastic fuck last night, but it sure wasn't worth all the bullshit I had to put up with. The night started with H,F and I heading over to Super Girl to look for H's gal after the usual great dinner at Vientiene followed by ice cream at Royal Garden (are we predictable, or what?). I told H on the way to Super Girl that I had plan A,B,C,D,E,F and G for tonight and if none of those worked out, I'd head to Tony's solo as plan H. Plan A was in attendance at Super Girl, but she was in street clothes waiting for her date to show up and said she'll call me tomorrow (I am not holding my breath as she regularly commands much more than the 1000B she is going to get from me). H's gal was not yet in attendance, so I went outside and made a call to plan B. Miss Hardbody wanted to see me, so I left the boys and headed over to her bar. She wasn't wearing any makeup and didn't have the usual "whore" outfit on. She complained that she wasn't sexy tonight, but I actually preferred the look and was quite happy with her not looking like the typical Pattaya working gal. She seemed happy to see me and I bought drinks for her and her friend as well as a Heineken for myself (this is the bar I got kicked out of for drinking Coke!). The friend was quote disappointed that the F didn't show up to see her. Miss Hardbody (she certainly lives up to this name, the tits are so firm that guys accuse them of being silicone and you can bounce quarters off that ass!) was busy beating all comers on the pool table. She is quite good and the board was full of guys waiting to play. I chatted with her in between shots and let her know that I was not real happy with the way she had been acting towards me the last couple of times I have seen her and that things needed to be different tonight. Well, they weren't and I should have sensed that early on. After over an hour of her beating at least 10 challenegers at pool, I told her that I wanted to go now. She said she'd go as soon as she lost a game. I told her that I was going now and she could come if she wanted. She pouted and said "OK, I not go". I binned the check and when I got the change they had taken out money for her barfine. An older gal, who acts like her big sister, tells me that everything will be fine and quickly talks to Miss Hardbody and all is well (seemingly) and we head out to meet up with the boys. They are still in Super Girl awaiting H's gal (it's been 2 hours now). B was there with his wife and the boys adopted a young German newbie. H left his phone number in case his gal showed up (she never did, and he was quite bummed as his sole reason for going to Pattaya was to see her) and we headed out. Miss Hardbody says she wants to go bowling and I tell her we will go to a couple of bars with the boys first (pout). We walk down Soi 8 past all the beer bars and the boys find nothing to their liking, so we go to G-Strings go go. All the boys notice a hottie with a nice butt on stage and I tell German Boy to buy her a drink. He's not really sure how everything works and he tries to grab her off the stage. I tell him to have a seat and she'll come and see him when she's done dancing. My gal bums a cigarette from German Boy and goes outside to smoke it. She knows I don't like her smoking, but I think she also goes outside to pout. I explain the pricing structure to German Boy and he says that he will pay her 500B. I tell him that there is no way she'll go with you for 500B and he needs to hit the beer bars if that's his target price. The Hottie finishes dancing and comes over to sit with him. In about a minute, she leaves in a huff and we wonder what was said. He says that he wouldn't buy her a drink because she put her top back on and wouldn't let him play with her tits. I explain that this isn't a diddling bar, but he doesn't seem to grasp the concept. I tell the F to take him to Soi Yodsak and he should find that more to his liking (F will have to report on how that went). I left the boys and take Miss Hardody bowling. After 2 games of bowling, I was getting a blister, so I wanted to quit. No, she wants to play one more, and I relent (so much for "up to you"). After bowling, we head to Walking Street to play pool. Along the way, she keeps commenting everytime we pass a clothing stall that this blouse or that blouse is pretty (hint, hint-how subtle!). We play pool at the 19th Hole in the comfortable A/C and I tell her to eat because I don't want her eating at 3 am when we're heading to the hotel as has happened the past 2 times. We play pool for 2 hours and I feel a bit stupid for this part of the story. In the past, I have played her maybe 50 games of pool and probably won about 5, but I have been playing in Bangkok and getting better, so I was looking forward to beating her at least some of the time. She hits the ball real hard and makes a lot of slop shots, which I guess count in Pattaya rules. Also the 2 shots after a scratch I think is a stupid rule. Well, in 12 games I manage to win 4, but start getting quite pissed as she makes all these slop shots and then as she sees that I am much better, she starts snookering (dirty pool) me and taking advantage of the 2 shots after I inevitably scratch. The final straw comes when a ball that was not even touched somehow falls in the side pocket (her rock hard ass must have bumped the table!) after she missed badly on a corner shot and she counts it. I know I shouldn't be taking this so seriously, but I guess I am just too competitive. I tell her that her rules are "bullshit" and we are going to play by "real" rules and to knock off the dirty pool snooker crap. She pouts some more and her first shot in the next game is slop and she continues (I give up as this is the last game anyway as our 2 hours are up). It's now 3 am and I want to head to the hotel, but she wants to stay and play Nintendo games. I put my foot down and we head for the hotel. She stops to admire the "whore" blouses and asks me to buy her one. I see the sign saying 99B and say OK and then she picks one that costs 300B (oh, well). One the way to the hotel, she keeps joking (maybe she wasn't joking?) that she's going back to her room now and then says that she can't "boom-sing" (her term for screwing) first saying that she has a dick now and then saying that she has her period. We finally get to the hotel and it's more bullshit in the room. She wants to watch TV. She shows me photos from her holiday with her "fiancee", a real dorky looking young American. He's coming back in 4 months to marry her (of course, if her lips are moving, she's lying so I don't put much credence in that story). I finally get her in the shower and then we have our usual fantastic "boom-sing". Now, she announces that she wants to go to her room as she needs to clean it (I doubt this girl has ever cleaned a room in her life). I tell her if she wants to go, that's fine but don't expect to see me again and explain in detail that I am tired of all the games and bullshit. She then changes her tune and decides to stay, but sits on the end of the bed reading a comic book! After being a little patient, I tell her to come to bed or get dressed and leave. She says that I "yak-yak" too much and starts getting dressed. I say that I wouldn't "yak-yak" if she would stop all the bullshit. I told her that I would not be seing her her again and good luck with her "marraige" (god help the moron if he really marries her!). I was going to give her 500B, but only have 200B or 1000B notes (no way in hell she's getting a 1000). I give her 200B telling her that along with the 300B blouse that makes 500B and that's fine for a ST. She says that she didn't want the blouse (of course she ended up taking it anyway) and demanded 500B. I gave her back the 200B and told her that was all she was getting. She refused it and I figured it would be best to go downstairs and get change rather than having her really pissed at me (not that she wasn't already). Took her downstairs, got change and basically threw a 500B note in her lap and went back upstairs without saying a word to her. So, it was a great fuck, but I finally realized that it's not worth putting up with all the crap (something that F has been telling me for a long time). There are plenty of other girls that I have fun with and subsribe to the "up to you" philosophy and I intend to hook up with one tonight to renew my faith in the paradise that is Pattaya! Life is still good!

Ranger

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I was in a bar at NEP that had bottled water. As I thought I was beginning to show the early stages of Beer Poisoning, I would have bottled water. That order caused a conference between a couple of the girls and the mamason. After they yabbered for a while, they all decided to come over to see the plobrem was.

Me: “No problem. Me thirsty, me want water.”

Them: “You thirsty, you drink beer.”

Me: “Me thirsty, me need water.”

The mamason tilted her head with a confused look on her face. It reminded me of the RCA dog looking at the phonograph playing his master’s voice. I had to laugh.

Me: “Me pay Heineken, you bring water.”

Them: “You thirsty, drink beer.”

At this point I figured I was not going to win, so I ordered bottled water and a Heineken, which seemed to satisfy everyone.

The crowd broke up at that point, but I could see the mamason watching me out of the corner of her eyes as she went behind the bar.

The server girl brought the drinks back to the table and proudly put them down with the biggest cutest smile I ever did see.

Funny thing was my partner in crime had been sitting with me the whole time, and never did get asked for his order. So I handed him the Heineken, and proceeded to open and empty my bottled water.

We stayed there the entire evening; me drinking bottled water, and my friend drinking the Heinekens. And no one ever said a word. In fact, my table turned out to be a party, with cakes supplied by the shop in the Nana Hotel. Go figure…..

I ended up leaving with that cute little server girl, but that’s another story…..

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Ranger:

Umm, sorry to say that slop shots count if you are playing 8-ball. Only thing called in tournaments is the pocket of the 8-ball. You were also probably playing that you had to touch your balls first (hehe). Not a tournament rule either. Bar rules though. I hate bar rules.

Defense in pool is extremely underrated.

Sorry you had a bad time though. The 2-shot rule after a scratch is something pretty unique to SE Asia I think.

<<burp>>

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Forget about Miss Hardbody who needs that kind of bullshit.

 

Been reading this and the old Delphi board for a while. Have been on 4 trips to BKK. However I never heard of a diddling bar? Can anyone fill me in?

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"Diddling Bar" is a term that my friends and I came up with. It would be a bar where you buy the girl a drink and let your hands roam and usually her hands will roam a bit too. Toy Bar on Soi Cowboy is the best example of a "diddling" bar (wet-naps are a standard as fingers are usually wet). Most every bar on Soi Yodsak in Pattaya is a diddling bar. Most go-go bars do not qualify as diddling bars although sometimes can be with the right girl.

Ranger

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After playing more pool at on a shitty table that must have been left over from the Vietnam War, at an even shittier beer bar on Soi 7 in Pattaya last night, I really, really hate bar rules and the 2 shot after a scratch bullshit. I finally told the girl that we would play by my rules as I was the only customer in the whole bar for 3 hours. At least the pool was free and the girls, who were bored silly, broke open a bottle of "whiskey from Finland" and proceded to get me hammered, which didn't improve my pool game. Total bill for 3 hours was under 200B (bought 2 ladies drinks and don't know who paid for the bottle of whiskey). Because I am such a nice guy, I paid the gals barfine that played pool with me and told her to go home and sleep as she said she was going home to Korat in the morning. She cried and gave me a big hug.

Ranger

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