Walking in a Winter Wonderland-Part 4

[Central Scrutinizer]

Walking in a Winter Wonderland-part 4

The next morning, or to be truthful, early afternoon, I had to go pick up some plane tickets from Tevee Travel on Soi 3. It's located just a bit before the Bamboo Bar. A good, small travel agency that will take care of your travel needs for a decent price, and they keep in contact with you in the event things change, or problems arise. I recommend them.

My plans had been to go to Morchit Bus Terminal afterward to pick up tickets for the VIP bus up to Surin if anything was available. I say had been because in Thailand, for some strange reason, your plans always seem to be flexible once you are there. This was doubtful though, being that the Surin Elephant Round-up thingy was already starting. My beloved Surin was likely already to be infested with the dreaded farang tourists, and the busses full of more to come for the show. One reason I'm so enamored of Surin is because of the distinct and refreshing lack of farang tourists. While not being totally a farang free zone Surin is a place where, except for the Elephant Show season, farang are still a bit of a rarity the rest of the year. Which is fine by me. Tourists can be such a pain in the ass at times! Especially the ignorant, pushy, demanding, snotty, think they're better than the locals type of tourists. Which I've seen too many of for my liking.

I got my tickets to Hong Kong from the travel agency staff after an hour or so, which I needed to complete my trip back to the states in five weeks time later in December. It was by now late afternoon, and I had an appointment to meet a friend of mine in the Beer Garden....Soi 7, at 4-4:30. No time to run to Morchit now, especially in the traffic at this time of day, so I headed for a leisurely stroll down Sukhumvit to the Beer Garden to meet my friend.

The combination of last night's booze, and a severe case of jet lag, was having an effect and I felt a bit woozy still. Fifteen or twenty minutes later I entered BG7 and did a quick walk around the bar area to see if my friend was already there. I was a bit early, he wasn't there yet, so I scouted a seat with a view of the entrance so I'd spot him when he entered, found one in the small back bar, claimed a seat next to a couple of cuties, and patiently waited to place an order for a beer. Much needed if I was to remain conscious the next hour or two.

The beer maid was in the middle of an animated discussion with another couple of farang guys at the other end of the small bar. I waited, yawning, wiping sleep dirt from my eyes, and lit a smoke. Thailand is a great place for us smokers. An abundance of cheap coffin nails is available, and not much of an anti smoking Nazi party has formed yet. At least their powers seem to be diminished over here in the LOS. You can still smoke damned near anywhere, yet I try to be considerate of others when I notice they are affected or bothered by smoke. Especially where others are dining.

Five minutes passed. The bar lass was still in her conversation. No big rush really. My pen rai. A beer now would either perk me up, or send me over the edge and leave me comatose. I was in no rush to find out which. The couple of cuties next to me were flirting openly, hitting on me hard. Business must be slow. My handsome man days are far behind me.....although I still have all my hair and most of my own teeth, obviously they needed a cash infusion. Winks and giggles and wiggled eyebrows left little room in my mind as to what was being suggested I could have from said cuties. I begged off, told them I was too tired. When they upped the ante with comments suggesting that neither would mind too much to smoke my "White Owl" for a niggardly sum of the coin of the realm I flashed my newly acquired wedding ring to ward off the attentions of the evil temptresses. What I heard in return was a "No problem!", which made me laugh and crack a joke about my mia feeding the ducks some sushi of a Godzilla flavor. They laughed accordingly and said she'd never know. I informed them I was no longer a butterfly, and they'd be better off applying their wiles on a more likely victim....errr...client.

To my left was an older lass who seemed distincty less brazen and bothersome. She commented on my lack of annoyance at the bar maid's ignoring me for so long. Something to the effect that I was "jai yen" and "jai dee". To which I answered "Nah. I'm just tired and waiting for a friend." She promptly suggested I retain her services for a while for a nice soothing massage back in my hotel room. "No boom-boom. Just massage, okay?" Which made me laugh as I politely turned down this tempting offer. We talked for a bit. Her English was minimal, my Thai the same, but we made ourselves understood for the most part and managed to converse. We agreed that she could give me a massage while I sat at the bar waiting for my friend. She had refused my offer to buy her a drink, explaining she'd prefer the baht I'd spend on the drink instead, as she hadn't eaten yet today, and had no baht to do so. I found this agreeable and told her so. I slipped her fifty baht and told her to go get something to eat. She refused, wanting to massage me first to earn the baht. I let her have at it, and damned near fell asleep on the bar while she was massaging my neck, shoulders, arms and back. She chastised the bar lass, and got her attention long enough for me to secure a Kloster beer and a glass and ashtray.

I found out between naps on the bar that the two cuties to my right were from Isaan and were Khmer. I in turn informed them I was from Surin, and Lao. Which brought on a chorus of hooting laughter, and what I assumed were disparaging remarks toward the Lao. I get quite a lot of this from the Khmer girls. Fuck 'em. I know they're all just Isaan witches anyway. At least that's what the wife says anyway! :-) Damned Khmer witches! I just try to avoid leaving my drink unattended anywhere near them. Ya never know when one of 'em will slip your beer bottle up her twat when you're not looking, and mumble some Khmer witchy incantation of mystical and ancient magical verse as she tries to voodoo yer ass into a short time room! :-) "Hey bartender! Can ya get me a new beer?" Bartender: "But sir, your bottle is still full!" Me: "Yeah, but since I came back from the hong nam this one smells like a week old tuna fish!" Don't you just hate not knowing where your beer has been while you were off having a piss?

The lady continued giving me a great massage while I waited for my friend. I sat there, my head resting on my arms folded on the bar, beer bottle gripped protectively against any foolish Khmer witchcraft trickery, and damned near fell asleep. Strong hands on the old lass. Good massage. While I was waiting I was almost comatose. The lass kept whispering occassionally in my ear about going back to my room. I slipped her another fifty and basically told her to shut up. The massage continued. As will this story.

(to be continued)

Cent

p.s. If you ever do get caught out butterflying explain to yer lass that you think you've been bewitched by one of those damned Khmer Isaan witches. Unless she's Khmer of course. Then blame those damned Lao Isaan witches! :-)

[ January 03, 2002: Message edited by: Cent ]