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The Hunchback of Paradise--by Alexander Turner


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The Hunchback of Paradise

-by Alexander Turner

Lin was a pretty girl. She looked like someone who came from one of those soap commercials advertising a perfect, if slightly boring, life. The only real flaw she had was this stoop which at times made her look like a hunchback. She worked as a waitress at King's Paradise on Patpong.

Like most waitresses who wait in the Bangkok tourist industry she had a story. She was studying to be a hairdresser in Ubon, and had come to Bangkok to stay with her sisters and get some money to go back with. Not a fascinating story I'll grant you, but I believed it, so it had that much going for it.

One day at about 4 AM she started telling me that in three days she would be going back upcountry to carry on with her normal life. Maybe I could go there and see her. She could introduce me to her family. They wouldn't think anything was going on between us. They didn't know anything about bars and Patpong and evil farang.

"I don't think so." I said.

"Why?" She said.

"Well. I'm prone to mosquito bites and malaria. I can't drink the water. And isn't Ubon one of those places where the Khmer Rouge still hang out and party? Besides which I'm gay, impotent, one of my legs is prosthetic."

"You must come. I'd like you to come."

And she smiled. It was a sweet smile.

It was a very sweet smile. It was a smile that made me imagine introducing her to my aging grandmother.

I could imagine her content washing the dishes in some Surbiton semi. I could imagine me coming home from the office with a briefcase putting my feet up on a pouf and reading the newspaper as she said "I've just put the roast in the oven. And for pudding I made an apple crumble." The perfect kids come running out to greet me and say "Daddy daddy. Come and play our new computer game with us." And she would be still standing there with her baking gloves on and say to them "Now leave your dad alone. He'll be exhausted. There'll be plenty of time for all of that after dinner." Then she'd flash me that smile again. "Would you like a quick martini before dinner darling?" She'd say. "Why not." I'd say. "And later on we can send out for some whores and have a massive orgy." ... Well, a smile can have a devastating effect on some of us weaker ones.

She gave me her full name, address, and telephone number in Ubon, just in case I changed my mind. Then she went back to the business of waiting on customers and complimenting them into big tips.

As the night wore on and edged into early morning I kept wondering about taking that trip to Ubon. I'd got used to beautiful, sexy, and crazy, but sweetness could still do me in. And Lin was stability and sweetness incarnate. She was a woman who had never opened her wrists with a rusty blade, or paid to have a man beaten to a pulp for paying an inadequate tip.

All this would have to wait however. I could smell the coming dawn. It was almost time for me to get up off my stool and catch one of those five o' clock tuk tuks, just in time to beat the first wave of gridlock. I was about to leave when Lin through her tired arms around my neck and asked me where I was going.

"Back home. Khao San Road."

"That's on the way to my sister's place. We could go together."

"Yes. Sure."

It meant edging into danger time, but what was a bit of traffic? After all, this might have been Miss Right.

The bar closed and we left together. Everyone saw us leave together, but I don't think anybody thought anything of it. I was there every other night until dawn. The reasons for this I'll not go into here.

The harsh hot sunlight on Silom Road brought me to my senses. The day had just started for most of Bangkok. There were massing crowds of sharp bankers and office types. That was what normal life equalled. The frenetic struggle to get to an office on time. I'd never worked in an office in my life but I had a feeling that getting there on time was a big part of the job. Lin grabbed my hand and pulled me across the road when it must have seemed safe to her. I think I'd assumed we'd be grabbing a taxi but she took me to the bus stop.

We got on the first one that came. It was typically jammed full of people but she seemed not bothered. In fact she smiled every time I caught her eye as if being crunched in between all these people like a tinned sardine was no bother at all.

I couldn't quite get over the novelty that here was a girl who worked in the middle of Patpong who even knew what a bus was never mind actually choosing one when there were other, more expensive, forms of transport available. After about half an hour I felt myself drifting into a kind of standing sleep. The traffic was crawling and I think I forgot where I was a couple of times. We got to a certain point and she said "Oh. That was the place you should have got off for Khao San Road."

"That's okay. I'll get off at the next stop and walk back."

"You could come and sleep at my place. I mean my sister's there but you know. She has a farang boyfriend. And my younger sisters will be going off to school."

I tried protesting but not very hard. I was tired and I didn't want to meet either of her sisters. But I was in the passive grip of her charm. I wanted to hear her speaking. I wanted to drift asleep while she pottered about with housework.

After all the mad drug-addled bad lying bargirls I had known being with her felt like walking from a sleazy brothel in Hell to Heaven and sanctuary. This was an angel, and she was going to save my soul.

After an hour or so, a bus change, and a leisurely stroll up some unfamiliar soi, we got to her place.

It was a bright and pleasant ground floor flat in a small apartment building. Along the way Lin had stopped off to buy some fruit and clear plastic bags of Lao food to eat with her younger sisters (really cousins) who were just getting themselves ready to go to school. The older sister (probably also a cousin) wasn't there. She was staying with her boyfriend who was, apparently, one of many boyfriends.

The schoolgirls said next to nothing to me even though I spoke in Thai to them. Lin told me that they were scared of farang. I said that they had good reason to be given our preference for eating the brains of children. Both girls laughed at this but I think they believed it. The room was large. There was a TV, video, books on the shelves, some Learn-English books. There was even a well-stocked fridge with milk in it and a large yellow packet of Liptons on top.

When the girls had gone to school we chatted quite intimately. I told her of all the stupid shit I'd gotten involved with. I told her about my father dying without seeing me for five years. I told her about the mad psychotic women I'd been involved with. I told her about my ex-wife and how all the stuff I'd done in Bangkok was a million miles from anything I'd consider doing in the UK. She told me about her family who were okay. No sickness. None of the usual grinding poverty. Just regular poverty. I felt very comfortable in her company. I did not think, however, sex was going to be an issue between us. I felt like I was being regarded as a friend. If I had this type of a conversation with a girl back in the UK it would, for sure, be just a friendship thing.

After a while my eyelids started getting heavy. She said she had to clean up a bit. I should get some sleep. She pulled some fabric across the windows creating a simulation of night time and pulled a sheet over me. As I drifted to sleep I could hear her cleaning the house. It felt very safe. Running water. Shower. And I was out.

Then something woke me in this synthetic night. There were hands on me. A hot body against mine, lips brushing against my neck and chest, legs around my legs. Slipping out of sleep I explored with my hands and felt naked flesh wrapped in a light cotton gown. I felt underneath. I touched legs and ran my hand up over and under silken skin until it touched her cunt. It was like getting an electric shock. She moaned a high moan and I let my hand rest there.

She started frantically kissing my neck and writhing opening her legs against my hand until my fingers were eased inside her. She cried little cries and then pulled away from me undoing my clothes and kissing me with warm damp kisses all the way down my chest to the belt of my contraband Levis. She pulled at the buttons awkwardly as if not familiar with the mechanics and peeled the trousers down until they were around my ankles. I kicked them off with some difficulty as she kissed and held me in her warm mouth teasing me with her tongue.

Hardly being able to stand this I pulled her up so her away. She whipped off her cotton nightdress in a single ungraceful gesture moved herself up so she sat astride me, first rubbing her cunt against my dick harder and harder and then letting it slip inside her. Her movements were wild and urgent as though she hadn't had sex for months or years and it had been gnawing away at her.

By this time I was just starting to be able to make out shapes through the grain of the darkness. Her body was slim. Flawless. No sign of a hunch at all. Her breasts were small, almost flat, but her nipples were swollen like dark rosebuds in the snow. She pushed and writhed and gasped little struggling gasps. I could just about make out her face all screwed up as if she was in pain, but it wasn't like Lin's face.

In fact the body wasn't like Lin's body. In clothes she didn't seem so slim. For a moment I suddenly wondered if this was Lin at all. Here I was having sex without any protection and there was a real sense that I didn't know who I was with. This couldn't be Lin. This woman was voracious. She moved like the flames of a fire engulfing a wooden house. "Shit," I thought. "I'm not fucking Lin. It's her sister." Her sister has come back and sent Lin to get some shopping then decided to fuck the farang sleeping so peacefully on the mattress. I'd not seen the sister. And I became distracted from the sex trying to see her face clearly. Trying to see who I was with.

Of course it was Lin. And as my eyes became even more accustomed to the darkness it became obvious it was Lin. But she pushed and thrashed and gasped and ground her clitoris against the base of my dick as her cunt there was a part of me that couldn't accept it.

She seemed to hit a climax once and then just started thrashing about even more changing positions pulling me over so I was on top of her.

And, for me, it was started to get almost painful. I couldn't come. There is a point you go past where your dick is being pulled this way and that and you've been fucking too long where coming seems almost an impossibility. Of course I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. She'd worked some magic on me so my dick would get harder and harder but I would never feel release.

My shirt was clinging to me like I'd just taken a shower with it on. The heat was pressing from within me causing me to sweat twice as much as I'd ever sweated in my life before. But, again, I couldn't stop. If I tried to move she was pulling me back into her with hands gripping me like talons. She pulled me round so we were scissoring grinding into each other. She was stronger than she looked. I remember thinking that if I kept going like this I'd be a dried up husk by nightfall.

She seemed to come and come again all the time her face scrunched up as if someone was twisting a knife in her back. Then I started to feel the possibility that I might be able to come. This became an intense need. Very intense. As though the entire world was being held in my groin and had to burst forth.

Then, quite suddenly, there came a knock on the door. And voices. The voices of sisters back from school.

In a strained panicked voice Lin, suddenly still, said "ror diaw na." Then she was up like a flash. I quickly retrieved the trousers and underpants and she threw a blanket over me. She wrapped herself in a floral pakkamaa and stuffed her nightdress into the linen basket while I pretended to be fast asleep. My dick was standing out at ninety degrees and sweat was still pouring off me in buckets soaking the mattress beneath me. There was an ache in my groin from the need to finish but I thought the only way to get through the next half-hour or so was to feign deep sleep. Maybe they wouldn't notice anything amiss. Maybe Lin would be able to get them to go to a friend's house because I was so shattered. She unbolted the door and the two young sister's came in. I recognised their voices. I remembered how shy one of them was. The one scared of farang. They came in and sat on the mattress not far from me "Oh fuck." I thought. "Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."

Both girls had food with them. Lin got out some bowls for them and I heard them dish stuff out and start to eat. One asked Lin if maybe I would like to eat with them. Lin said I'd been asleep for a few hours. Best not to wake me up. I tried easing on my underpants in the manner of someone shifting about in their sleep. Not easy given the way my dick was standing out, but I seemed to get away with it. Of course doing the same with my Levis would be impossible. Nobody shifted about in their sleep that much.

At one point, when, I assume, nobody was looking, Lin came over and wiped my face with a towel. Not before time either. The rivers of sweat were just tickling at my nose and running into my mouth.

Shortly after this I went to sleep.

When I woke up the room was bright again. I seemed to be alone. It was quiet. I opened my eyes. No one was there. I pulled my trousers on, which, even without an audience, was not an easy task but at least my ardour had subsided. Lin came into the room from the bathroom. She looked like the same sweet smiling girl that I had come here with. "Pay ab naam Pa." she said. And that was exactly what I felt I needed.

The shower seemed to wash away a thousand years of constant sweat and sex. The water was heated. I didn't have heated water in my guesthouse, so this was a rare luxury. Mind you, in my guest house nasty red worms slid about on the tiled shower floor and you had to step carefully to avoid a vomit inducing squelch. For the first time that day I felt clear about where I was. It seemed a very nice place. I could see the green blur of a palm tree through the obscure bathroom window. Outside was a beautiful grimy heat but it could be regularly washed off. I wished I had a place like this.

When I went back into the main room we sat and we ate and then we started kissing again. Except this time I was kissing the Lin that I was half, maybe all the way, in love with, not some stranger in the dark.

I ran my hand over her smooth thigh to her arse and she let the pakkamaa slip down exposing her breasts to me. I kissed and sucked on them and she held my head like it was that of a baby suckling at her as my hand moved on to her cunt. It was already wet.

"Aaargh." She said and pushed me away.

"What's the matter ?" I said thinking she was maybe still raw from before.

"Men. Men maa laaw." She wiped the blood off my fingers with the cloth from her pakkamaa. What a time to get a fucking period I thought.

"Mai pen rai." I said.

Because I was mildly frustrated by this point. As kissing her had brought me to the brink again.

"Cannot. Sokkapok. Dirty."

I put my hand on her cunt again looking her in the eye. I saw her face change in the second I pressed against her. Her eyes got a mist and we started kissing again.

I pulled back and sitting there on the floor wanked her to oblivion. Blood clearly visible against my fingers and against the cloth. As she started to come her body was trembling and she thrashed about like someone having a fit. Her body tensed, shook, relaxed. Tensed, shook, relaxed. And then it just shook and shook and shook and I thought it would be safer to leap behind some sandbags in case she actually exploded.

She stopped breathing.

Then she shook.

Her hand grabbed on to my arm fingernails drawing blood.

When she actually came it was like the world ending. If you've ever been with someone giving birth you'll get some idea of it. I wished I could have sold the rights to National Geographic. Thank God that at the time I wasn't actually fucking her as this was have surely destroyed my future prospects. It was without doubt one of the most spectacular orgasms I have ever seen in my entire life but afterwards she lay there a minute or two and then sat up and smiled sweetly like the slightly hunchbacked housewife type I'd had her pegged as.

She never made any reference to the bizarreness of her orgasm, so I could only conclude that this was how she came and probably how she thought every other woman came too. A kiddie show on TV was replaced with a quiz show in English. The students were obviously getting points based upon there ability to understand the questions in English but I felt very clever that I knew a lot of the answers. She laughed at me because it was a kids show. "Yes. I know." I said. "But you don't realise how thick I am." She started looking in a cookie jar and said "Ah. No money to get to work."

Without thinking much of it I gave her 500B. I don't think I realised until several days later that I'd been party to an act of prostitution.

We went to King's Paradise and played a couple of rounds of that cursed Connect 4 game.

After half an hour of this I left, more out of boredom than anything else. I showered, changed and met up with a friend called James on Khao San Road. We hit Patpong and eventually King's Paradise. Lin was all over me. She sat on my lap for ages and made my leg go to sleep. She seemed weird. Drunk. The rest of the staff were a bit worried about her, but I figured it had to be a menstrual thing.

I really felt like I loved her but I left after a while and went on a bar crawl. I thought I didn't want to go to her flat again and make trouble for her with her family, the truth was probably more like me not wanting to make trouble for myself.

After a good night's sleep alone my mind seemed clear. I really loved her. I had to see her. She was due to make the trip back to Ubon the next day. I'd tell her how I felt about her. I was ready to settle for one woman. I forgot the discomfort, and remembered her with increasing excitement. I'd marry again, but this time I'd get it right. I'd met a woman in a bar who was no kind of bargirl. I'd go to King's Paradise and tell her.

I took a tuk-tuk.

As usual the stinking polluted air of Bangkok smelled sweet as a rose to me. Why would anyone hold a handkerchief to their nose in this wonderful blue air? Coming into Pinklao Road I saw another tuk-tuk right beside me. In it there was a Japanese man cradling a girl. Good luck to you I thought.

Then I saw the girl. It was Lin. She looked at me and then looked away before the tuk-tuk pulled away. Their tuk-tuk turned up Suriwong while mine took the Silom turn. I felt a little shell-shocked, but then I thought, "Well. What the fuck?" She had to get some money. I wasn't exactly squeaky clean. This was Patpong after all.

I went to King's Paradise. They told me Lin wasn't coming in that evening. She'd phoned to say she was taking an earlier train to Ubon. I had a drink.

"She said to tell you to call her in Ubon. She wants you to go and see her." Said Ooy, the large jolly woman who had first made friends with me in the bar.

"I just saw her in a tuk-tuk with a Jap."

"Yes. Well. There are things that people have to do."

"I guess so. You want a drink."

"It's okay. You save your money. I have a bottle of bacardi here. You want some?"

"No.... Thanks"

I never called Lin. I never saw her again. But a few days later I did get a terrible case of gonorrhoea.

--Best regards

 

Alexander Turner  

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  • 3 years later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Pharcyde said:

Great little story.

who is Alexander Turner by the way?

 

Is he your alter ego?

 

Greetings,

 

Pharcyde

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pharcyde,

 

Nope. He's a friend of mine. I like his writing and stories and have placed some on here with his permission. (He's no longer posting here of late.) I just like to pull his lesser read stories up to the forefront once in a while so they'll get the attention I feel they deserve. When they were first put on here they received little attention due to some reasons I forget now. I hope more seek out his stories and comment on them. I think he reads here on occasion. Spoke with him last night on MSN messenger and he is writing a story for the writing contest.

 

Cent

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All,

 

When I pulled this great story by Jo Turner up from the dustbin it had like 28 reads. It now has 163. I hope those that read it enjoyed it. I think it is some of the best writing ever presented here on NP.com, and would love to see those who enjoy it clamor for more, so Jo will write up and post more of his stories here. I know I'd love to read more of his stuff here. Anyone else?

 

Cent

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I have recently come across this board and have been enjoying reading the contributions in the stories section to the extent that i have felt compelled to join and voice my approval. I have been very impressed with the stories of Alexander Turner and will certainly add my voice to the clamour for more. What happened to the rest of his 'Dara' story? It seemed to stop before reaching it's conclusion. It would be good to read the rest of that.

 

There appears to be some talented writers on this forum, and when i'm sat at home in the u.k it is great to be whisked away to a place that holds my affections. My thanks go out to all the contributors.

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