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Why shell out "sponsor" a BG!


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The only situation where i see sponsorship as being viable is where the punter intends on marrying the women.

 

If short term he sponsors her til he can come back and marry her. I suppose that is okay.

 

I have spoken to lots of girls over the years and i believe that many of then genuinely do want to get out of the scene and are looking for a knight in shining armour to rescue them.

Unfortunately there are so many barriers against a successful bar girl- punter relationship that the majority end unsatisfactorily. I am not going to list them all but suffice to say the barriers are daunting.

 

I don't buy this idea of girls loving sex and continual partying.

Maybe there are some who do for a short while but the majority of women get fed up with the scene pretty quickly.

Contrary to what some guys think most girls get sick of shagging every day. Sponsorship gives them the option of shagging when they feel like it and a bit of a rest from the P4P scene. I think that a lot of sponsorship is very short term where the guy does it for a few months until he realises that he is not going to go anywhere with the relationship. The girls know this and while they are not married don't see anything wrong with keeping their options open.

I think many of the sponsors are also realistic enough to understand that their girl is not going to be faithful for 6 months while he is farangland. I mean how could you expect that? However they buy into the fantasy or dream and are prepared to pay for it while they feel they are being loved or cherised by their girl. When the fantasy inevitably starts to fade so does the money and sponsorship.

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"...I think many of the sponsors are also realistic enough to understand that their girl is not going to be faithful for 6 months while he is farangland. I mean how could you expect that? ..."

 

I disagree here big time...I think many guys believe the girl is theirs, and theirs alone. They believe she is faithful and celebit in his abcense. This is why so many guys freak out when they find out otherwise...

 

"...I have spoken to lots of girls over the years and i believe that many of then genuinely do want to get out of the scene and are looking for a knight in shining armour to rescue them..."

 

Hmmm, my own experience is, the girls who hate this work leave early. Or they get a bartender job, or waitress job, and limit their going with customers. But in my own experience, most who choose to stay, and it is a choice, don't want to be "rescued" at all, they want the guy who thinks he is a white knight to give as much as he can...the girls who choose to stay, will not get out of the business no matter what, until it is to late. Many have had trips abroad, marrage offers, education offers etc...and they pass it all up to keep working, it is like an addiction.

 

A related note, there was an article on U.S. Prostitutes, they noted that women who worked as hookers, strippers etc... and went on to successful careers, still had the psychological need to go and do sex work...not all did it of course, but this was a scar the job had left on them. Could be other factors as well, child abuse etc... I think a lot of Thai girls are looking for that "One big score" similar to a chronic gambler or junkie. I think the longer they stay in the game, the less chance they have of getting out...

 

As for white knight, as I and others have been accused of trying to be, who really saves who? I mean you have a girl in a bad situation, and a lonely desparte guy...they meet and go off together to try and make a go of it...who saved who, if both are happy?

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OH said

disagree here big time...I think many guys believe the girl is theirs, and theirs alone. They believe she is faithful and celebit in his abcense. This is why so many guys freak out when they find out otherwise...

 

I think in their heart of hearts they know that she is not going to be faithful but hope against hope that she will be.

They don't really want to find out she is unfaithful but if they do they can't help but feel agrieved. I just can't believe that the majority of men are so naive......I could be wrong of course......

 

OH said

Hmmm, my own experience is, the girls who hate this work leave early. Or they get a bartender job, or waitress job, and limit their going with customers. But in my own experience, most who choose to stay, and it is a choice, don't want to be "rescued" at all, they want the guy who thinks he is a white knight to give as much as he can...the girls who choose to stay, will not get out of the business no matter what, until it is to late. Many have had trips abroad, marrage offers, education offers etc...and they pass it all up to keep working, it is like an addiction.

 

I don't think that is quite the full story.

Many girls drift in and out of the scene. They aren't happy with the job but when there is a cash crisis will go back to what makes the most money. A lot of girls don't feel they have any other options but to work in the bar. Many girls also have self esteem issues.....i.e they are bad girls and feel they cannot operate in normal society.......I think some generally do enjoy the scene but i still feel that these are the minority.

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I am confused on how some of you guys are defining "sponsorship"?

 

If the guy havs any intentions now/down the road of turning her into his gf, i don't define the money he gives her as sponsorship money. He is just supporting a girl who he wishes to be his gf. There is that belief that if you take care financially, she "owes" you her loyalty, commitment, honor and devotion. One needs to look at who they are dealing with here...

 

I view sponsorship the same as giving to a charity, a write-off. It is not an investment. The most one can get out of it is if the girl wears clothing advertising your business which might be a good or bad thing..okay also a smiling a familiar face upon return into town...

 

Guys sponsor because it meets some psycholigical guilt trip between the halve and halve-not worlds coming together. A little bit of a power trip with the false belief that you can control human behavior via money from a physical distance...

 

If i follow some of your guys' logic, then a successful doctor who takes care of his gf/wife (one not working) and living apart, is nothing more than a sponsor?

 

If personal feelings get involved, it should not be called sponsorship...

 

 

Cardinalblue

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CB,

 

Good point, but...how many guys think they are "supporting" when they are actually "sponsoring?" I think most guys honestly believe the girl is being faithful to them.

 

As for eleviating guilt or having a familiar face meet them when they are in town, that is only if she does not have a bigger better "sponsor/Supporter" in town at the same time...

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Hi phil.......

 

>>>Long distance relations must really be hard,<<<<

 

It really is. And can only work with two *very* commited individuals. And I mean *VERY*.

 

HT

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SkiBum -

 

Two questions were brought up by your post:

 

1) "I've never really understood why guys like to send money to BG's! Do they really believe these girls will not work or go with other men?" ::

 

My observations are mostly from Brazil, where a lot of what has been posted in response here applies. I will try to add something that has not been covered.

 

I have many times observed foreigners come to Brazil and fall in love with a "BG" and then go back to their home countries and continue to send money. And the same thing happens as you describe almost always...she keeps on working. So what motivates these guys? I have pondered this before...

 

I think that in most cases, these guys are newbies to the country (Brazil, Thailand), and they actually believe that these girls are being faithful. In the cases that they are not newbies, then they are jealous and suspicious and will obsessively check up on her, because they will have learned what you know. And the sponsorship is short-lived.

 

So I basically agree with Cardinalblue's comments above, that once an emotional involvement is the primary driver in sending money it is not really "sponsorship." We (you) are calling it sponsorship because little does the guy know, but just as a professional golfer like Tiger Woods gets lots of sponsors, one from each industry, his bar girl "girlfriend" has a sponsor from each country...hence the correct phrase is "sponsor."

 

2) "I just don't get it why some of the smartest guys act so stupid?" ::

 

As your question refers to bargirls, I'll rephrase this into a similar but slightly different question:

 

2) "I just don't get it why some of the smartest guys act so stupid as to sponsor a prostitute and consider having a long-term relationship with her?" ::

 

To this question I have two points.

 

First, it is my observation that Thai (and Brazilian) women offer a level of sensuality and femininity a dimension beyond what a Western woman offers today. As a result, these guys may have had the best sexual experience by far of their lives in Thailand. Sex is a big driver in a man's psychology, so it should be no surprise that this foreigner will want more and might seek a relationship, if not out of a desire for more sex then out of curiosity.

 

Amazingly enough, my observation, limited though they are of the West, is that the heterosexual situation in the West is so bad for men that paid sex with a prostitute in Thailand is more like a "girlfriend experience" than with a girlfriend in the West!

 

So my first point is that maybe what is really happening here is not so much due to the stupidness of the sponsors, but of their desperation in the face of a lack of a satisfying sexual life in their home countries.

 

My second point involves this whole idea of having relationships with a prostitute in the first place.

 

There seems to be this thread of rationalization now in the West that prostitution is OK. :nono: The idea is that men should forgive women for being whores and that somehow the woman is the one being victimized (not the man). And the height of expression of this new form of political correctness is the movie Pretty Woman, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, released in 1990. In it, a millionare hires a prostitute for a week and in the end realizes that he was the one in the wrong for his conspicuous consumption and proposes marriage...happy end. America loved the movie - and so did the reviewers - Roger Ebert - "...glows with romance." New York Times - "It is something special."

 

And it is not just in the movies, but the acceptance of prostitution or prostitute like behavior on the part of women in the West has grown in other ways. And the amazing thing to me is that the men seem to accept this. I am not sure whether they have no choice are are simply not aware of what is going on yet...

 

But my point is that these guys sponsoring bar girls are not really stupid, they are just behaving according to the moral programming they have received. This "pretty woman" morality is fundamentally flawed, for reasons you clearly laid out in your post, and in the end these guys will pay their tuition and figure out what is going on and then that will be that.

 

No doubt an accurate Pretty Woman II movie would show Richard Gere's character five years after their happy marriage stripped of 50% of his wealth and emotionally crippled due to a betrayal by his "Cinderella" whore.

 

Meanwhile, why don't you just enjoy the discounts :hubba: availble to you and be thankful for all the sponsorships?

 

Riotiger :beer:

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Riotiger, CB and others...

 

Many of you have stated or agreed, "Sponsorship is like suporting a golfer or little league team" I completly disagree! In many of these kind of examples the "golfer" wears or advertises a product...the "little league" is a write off bases mainly for taxes... Many of these examples try to spin "sponsorship" into a idea that it isn't! Sponsorship is set up mainly with a BG to keep her out of the bar and pay her for doing so... When in reality, many are sending their BGs money to keep them from having sex with other men...the problem is they don't stop doing this. Like "Tiger" doing Fuck You Buick Ads...

 

Now, if "sponsorship" is writing a blank check to a BG with little care of wether she goes with men or not, then why do it in the first place. Some say, "this brings first rights" but not always, others say, "they have it and want to help" this is the only good point...if you send her money to do whatever the Hell she wants with, knowing that most nights she is fucking other men, you send it anyways...then you rock! I still don't get it...

 

SkiBum

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"...others say, "they have it and want to help" this is the only good point...if you send her money to do whatever the Hell she wants with,..."

 

These may be the dumbest guys of all...by sending her this money full well knowing she is doing nothing productive only fucks her up worse...her thinking becomes "easy money, I don't have to do anything for it...maybe the next/other guy will give me more..." mean while, she has all this money, and gets used to it, no job, or husband/real boyfriend can compeate with 3-4-??how many sponsors+ what she earns. So she stays in the business, chasing an impossible goal of a big score/happy relationship. Many girls fail to see a good deal when it is there, simply because of these guys sending money...

 

Emotional attatchment or not, if you are sending her money, you are sponsoring her life style, whether or not you really know what that is/how she lives...keep sponsoring it, and it will continue.

 

Should one actually get a girl who holds up her end of the deal, quits the bar, quits fucking other guys, and goes to school whatever the deal is, until he can get her to his country and marry her if that is the intent/deal, and it works, hey, more power to them, I wish them luck, there are exceptions to the "rule."

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All,

 

Agree with OH here on this, and with a couple others. There is no need to send money to a BG to "keep your place in line" or "insure she will be available for you on your return". A phone call or e-mail will do just as well if the lady had a good time with you before, and sees you as sanuk and jai dee and knows you'll treat her good. Most will jump at the chance to have a "steady" barfine for a week or more with someone she enjoys being with. If not, there are plenty more who can rock your world for a week or two really. So many of the BG's are looking for these guys who will send money for nothing. It is money pissed away for no good reason really, and guarantees nothing usually. If you want to take her out of the bar, then take her out of the bar and set her up back in the village/town she came from, or in a place you can use yourself instead of a hotel while you are there on visits. Hell, even in BKK it is small money to rent an apartment, house or condo really, and set up the lass as your "mia noi". 10,000 baht a month gets you a two bedroom in many areas of Bangkok, and outside the big city you (she) can get a really decent apartment for around 2,500 baht a month rent money, plus a little more for water and electricity. Get a landline installed in the flat and make a call to her every day at different times to see what the hell she's up to and where she is if you think she might be out back at the bars, but setting her up far away from Bangkok and/or Pattaya is the easiest way to ensure she's not still hanging at the bar with her 'friends' and maybe making some extra on the side while you are 'sponsoring' her. But really, unless you are living here with her you'll never know for sure what may be going on.

 

I could think of many other things to spend this 'sponsorship' money on than a pro who is still working the bars, and like others, cannot understand why anyone would do this, except as I said before, just because you want to 'help out', but help out with what? You want to help out, send the money to a charity organization for AIDS victims or Sunami relief, or an orphanage. That's helping out. Sending money in 'sponsorship' to a lass still working the bars seems to me to be more of an ego-trip than anything else really. And a waste of your money. 'A fool and his money are soon parted' seems as apt now as it was when first the phrase was coined.

 

JMHO and thoughts on this subject.

 

Cent

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