Living in the Village--and I'm Hearing Voices!!

[Central Scrutinizer]

Living in the Village

(and I'm hearing voices!)

 

Well after the paint dried on the newly painted walls in the new house we'd built it was time to move out of the hotel, and into the ol' homestead. This is a major big step in the relationship here and I was a bit nervous. (BTW anyone know where I can buy window screening in Thailand?)

We had never been together in this house, if you know what I mean, ALL night! The back window of our bedroom also opens on Momma's house and we do get a bit loud at times before drifting off to dream land. How's Momma gonna handle this? We ain't married yet! From what I've learned she is very religious, spends a LOT of time at the wat/temple down the road and has just started warming to me. Last time I was there she threatened to stab me with a huge butcher knife! A little misunderstanding where she thought I caused her to lose face. Not true! (No more Mekong whiskey for Momma from yours truly!)

Plus our daughter has a bedroom across from ours. (She's eight.)

Things are getting a bit complicated here I think. I move my stuff in after checking out of the hotel. In for a penny, in for a pound. (Or a few grand!)

We take a bunch of the village girls to a lake to go swimming that first day. They all pile into the back of the pick up, about ten of them. Now these girls are the high school soccer team that I have been informed by my darling I am now sponsoring. They needed uniforms and balls, and the captains of the team know, and like, my lady, and had her ask me if I would sponsor their team. My lady's daughter is their mascot sorta, and if I sponsored the team they said they would name the team after her! So now the team is named after her. It's on the jerseys.

So we went swimming, and ate at one of the thatched roof food stands at the lake. Some guys kept backing pick up trucks with big aluminum tanks on the back into the lake, and fillng the tanks with water. Leaving a nice oil slick from the trucks filming the top of the water. Smart move dummies. A good time was had until it started to rain a couple of hours later. We returned home and invited the girls to come to the house later as we were having cake and ice cream and a ton of food for a joint birthday party for my lady and her sister whose birthdays are a couple of weeks apart. Party time!

My lady, and her sisters, and aunts, and Momma, all prepare their specialities of food for the party. My lady and one of her sisters run their own small restaurant, and can cook up a storm! Good cooking! I love the noodles and squid dish, and their Kow Tom Guy is the best! I send out one of her sisters for more Chang beer. (Momma and the aunts drank up the last of it while we were swimming! Fucking stiffs!) I can see I'm gonna have to get a padlock for the fridge if I want to ever have a cold beer left for me. Jeez, these old bats can drink! They also chew the betel nut too! Teeth are dark crimson, almost black on the old aunt! You don't see that anymore much in the cities.

I take a shower and change for the party while the preparations are being made.

A couple hours later the girls all start drifting in. Soon the house is full of women and teenage girls! And poor me is the only guy amongst all the puying suay! With his lady there! Ouch. The food is excellent and the cake (two-one for each of them) and ice cream is served, birthday songs sung and candles blown out. Now the serious partying begins.

I had been talking to the ladies for a while and found out they were mostly 15, 16 and 17 years old. High schoolers as I said. Well a couple of bottles of the white zinfindel were left over from the previous party and the older lasses broke these out and started plying the younger girls with wine and beer in some sort of drinking game. Before long all the girls are shit faced and laughing and giggling and chattering away and one (the captain of the team, good looking girl too!) starts talking to me in quite good English. She had been very shy earlier but the wine seems to have loosened her up considerably. She tells me that SHE is eighteen and not a baby like the others. She is very interested in America and wants to live there someday. She sits with me and we talk about the U.S. and life over there compared to Thailand, etc., etc. She even takes English classes at school. I also find out that her Papa is the headman of the village! Sorta like the mayor.

My lady had told me about this guy. She said he is a good guy who won't stand for any drugs in his village. Even to the point of getting a few of the village guys to kick some ass with him on someone if needed. A no nonsense guy who she says is very fair but tough.

His drunk 18 year old daughter is now flirting outrageously with me to the point of attracting my lady's attention. Uh Oohh! My lady comes over and sits between us, and says a few things to her I can't understand, but a few comments back and forth and the flirting comes to an abrupt halt! Shit. And I was having such a nice time too!

(and no, I wouldn't! So get your mind out of the gutter!)

Well, the party breaks up around midnight, and all the ladies say goodnight after helping clean up. I get a special goodbye from the eighteen year old, a knowing wink and giggle, and off she goes. (Daaamn, she is cute!)

It's time to go to bed, I'm bushed. My lady is in a good mood, and sends her daughter off to her sisters house, so we can be alone for our first night together in the house. Looks like I'm in for a good night, wish they had left me some Gin from the other night for fortification. Momma musta got an earful before we finally crashed, spent and exhausted!

I'm awakened a while later. I hear something but can't quite figure out what. It's still dark out but I'm hearing someone talking in Thai. A guy is talking in a soft voice. What the hell? Where is he? What the hell is he saying? I look at my watch, it's 5 a.m.! The voice stops. I'm lying there in bed wondering what's going on and the voice starts again! What the fuck is that? His voice is quietly droning on and on in Thai. Softly, in a normal conversational tone someone is talking to me in Thai. "Is that you Buddha?" I mutter to myself.

I realize someone is speaking on a loudspeaker. What the hell? It's 5 in the morning! Who is this idiot? This goes on for 10 minutes or more, and who knows how long he's been talking before I woke up!

I nudge my lady. "Hey, darlin'. Who the hell is that talking?" I ask her. "Bossman." she says sleepily. "Well, why the hell is he talking at 5 a.m.?" I say to her grumpily, "What's he fucking nuts?" "Him talk to village. Him say Buddha is good, and today is good day to work, and to wake up." she informs me.

"I repeat darling. Is he fucking nuts?" I ask her again. "What nuts?" she asks me, while rolling over, and getting out of bed and stretching. "You know. Ba ba bo bo. (crazy)" I say. "Does he do this every morning?" I ask in disbelief. "Yes." she replies yawning. "Shit. If he did this in the states somebody woulda shot his ass by now!" I inform her. She gives me a look, and says, "Not same as U.S." "Ain't this the truth honey!" I think to myself.

I think I'll kill him. At least I know I won't need an alarm clock while staying in the village. You know, early to bed, early to rise, and all that farmer crap.

I'm bringing some wire cutters next time I come over. I'll find that damn speaker wire, and silence this little brain washing commie bastard! 5 a.m.!!!! Jesus!

"Come back to bed darling." I ask her with a devilish grin. She laughs, and sits down next to me. What the hell. Looks like we aren't getting any more sleep this morning anyway. Let's put the time to good use! Yeeehaaa!

Later all you falangs,

 

Cent

[ May 30, 2001: Message edited by: Cent ]

[Guest]

only ten minutes? lucky. in my squat the propoganda machine cranked up at 5 am and it went on till 6. if the headman's daughter gets any closer it might get quite interesting.