Central Scrutinizer Posted June 15, 2001 Report Share Posted June 15, 2001 Phuket Poontang-part 1 To All, Well, I guess I should write about some of my randy butterfly adventures from this trip. I only do it for you guys sake anyway, as I'm really a monogamous sort usually. But any sacrifice is not too great for the board members. Can you feel my pain? If Hillary Clinton would fuck and feed her old dog Bill then maybe he wouldn't wander from the porch so often! I arrived in Bangkok on a Friday night (the 2nd of July) around midnight. We went to Bourbon Street, myself and two friends, and checked in. No problem. Shit, shower, and shave, and around the corner to Soi Cowboy in a jiffy. I like it there, although the ladies IMHO are not as beautiful "on average" as in Patpong, but the lasses are fun and friendly, and there are some awful cute ones available. The bars are also more laid back, with mostly rock music, instead of the disco/techno crap most gogo's play in Patpong. We hit a few bars and ended up in Rawhide. I found a nice little 19 yr. old honey, or I should say she found me, and it was party time folks! This girl was hot! The sick thing is I cannot for the life of me remember her name! I can see her face (and everything else) perfectly, but the name eludes me. We went back to the hotel and screwed like rabid dogs until sunrise, and then slept the day away. Great lay, and a nice personality, but once again expecting more than one night. When I woke up I talked to her and paid up. She wanted me to come barfine her again that night, but I told her I was going to Phuket. "I go to Phuket with you, o.k.?" she chirps. "No. I'm going on business. You can't come darling." I tell her. She pouts, but accepts this fairly graciously. "Give me your phone number and I'll call when I get back in Bangkok in a few days." I promise her. She smiles and dresses and leaves. Nice! I get my friends up, and we get ready to go to the airport. We grab a late afternoon flight to Phuket. Well, this trip to Phuket was a first for me. Nice place really. Gorgeous beaches, wonderful scenery, and tons of bars and gogos. Not Bangkok or Pattaya, but it'll do in a pinch! Although there are way too many katoeys for my liking, and they seem to be much more aggressive there. Also they are better looking than most of the girls! The quality, on average, of the girls, I thought, was much poorer than Bangkok and Pattaya. They also had much attitude! Some snooty little things in some of the gogo bars. Nothing like Patpong, Nana Plaza, or Soi Cowboy! Lots of, "I only do short time." Well persistence pays off the first night and I found a nice looker in a gogo that was friendly, and willing for a long time. Not much in bed though, and way too shy! I hate fucking with the lights out--BORING!! I swear next time, before I go out, I'm hiding the big towels too! Just leaving the small ones! Next day it's down to the beach to broil and sweat out last nights beers. Nice surf, good body surfing waves. The water is awful salty there though. Try not to swallow much. I thought I was gonna hurl after getting a couple of mouthfuls once. That night we went to the main bar area. We had went past it the night before, because the entrance to the street was filled with katoeys (transvestites) showing off their tits, and acting outrageously, kissing each other and shit, and the bars at the entrance were filled with them. Tonight I just ignored them, and pushed on by with my friends as we went to check out the beer bars further down back. Now this was much better. I prefer beer bars to gogos anyway. It's just that the best lookers seem to be in the gogos. We settle down and have a couple of beers at a few different places, and finally find one with some definite prospects for the night's fun. (to be cont.) Later, Cent -------------------------- Phuket Poontang-part 2 To All, Well to continue with part 2. We made it past the plethora of well endowed ladies of questionable nether regions and burst onto an area of bar beers. "This is more like it!" I think to myself. I do find it depressing that the guys with enhanced mammaries are better looking than most of Gods true creations for a man's sexual pleasure. The bars I frequented this night were on the end of the street just before the Shark Disco. After checking out a few of these places we settled on a place which had some good looking lasses, who seemed amenable to our advances, and baht. We sat at a small table in front of the bar called Rock Hard I think. Next to each bar I noticed a block of wood with nails studding the top surface, and a couple of steel hammer type things lying on top of them. What's this? Turns out this is Phuket's answer to a bar game! What fun! We proceeded to get drunk and smash nails into the wood with the ladies, and in general have a raucous good time! I can see problems with having these steel hammers lying about though. I wouldn't want to get brained with one of these weapons by an irate bar-lady! Ouch! We were descended upon by a few cuties who tried to sort out who would be going with whom at closing time. I guess I lost because I was latched onto by a cute little chinese looking lass with an irritating voice which sounded just like Minnie Mouse! (Mickey Mouse's girlfriend for you who are culturally challenged.) She was sitting next to me very closely, and leaned in and stuck her tongue in my ear, right when I was trying to take a sip of my Kloster beer, making me jump in surprise and almost knock out my front teeth with the damned bottle. "What the fuck darling!" I said to her, while wiping beer off my chin and shirt. "Be careful with that thing, or put it somewhere where it will be better employed!" She grabs me by the neck and pulls me close. I thought she was gonna try to clean my ear again with her tongue, but instead she whispers in my ear with her Minnie Mouse voice. "I do anything you want hansum man!" she squeaks to me seductively, and sticks her tongue back in my ear. Shit! I hate that! I take another long look at her. Hmmmmm. "Anything?" I say back, wiping her saliva from my ear. She wiggles her eyebrows, looks at me coyly from lowered visage and replies sweetly, "Yes, anything you want." Wow! This is a first for me from a Thai lass! Anything! Visions of perverse activities for the asking flitter through my twisted cerebral cortex. Neurons flash, and powerful surges of endorphins flood my brain with their opiate like wash of tranquility and good cheer. ANYTHING! "How much," I ask, "for long time?" "2000 baht." she says, trying to extort me while I'm still under the influence of alcohol and brain mushing natural chemicals. "What!" I exclaim, "It's 1 a.m. now! 1,000 baht. And a good tip if anything goes, as you say it can." She looks at me as though I'm a sure bet, and the baht is already in her pocket. "I'll do anything!" she again squeaks in my ear. Damn! I'm getting a woodie sitting there just athinking of the possibilities! I decide to be a curious asshole, and start a little game of 20 questions with her. "Will you smoke me?" I ask her. "Yes" she squeaks. "Can I cum on your face?" I ask with a leer. "Yes, if you like. Up to you!" she says, as if this is a dumb question. Hmmm, experience will tell. "Will you swallow?" I ask, voice quivering a bit in anticipation. "Yes!" she says, smiling and licking her lips. Daaaamn! "Will you let me fuck you in the ass!" I query, thinking this will be the one to bring about her disapproval. "Yes, yes!" she squeaks laughing, as if getting a large falang shaft to the hilt in her butt is her one and only joy in life. Double damn!! I order her another drink, and ponder this amazing stream of information. Meanwhile my friends are drinking and playing with their new found loves. One of the other lasses asks me to play the hammer in the nail into the wood game with her. "O.K., why not?" I say and start to play. Well, this does not go over big with Minnie Mouse, and she states her disapproval in no uncertain terms. Vocally and physically. She hit me! And squeaked loudly that I should not be a butterfly! "Darling", I say to her, "I'm only playing a game with the lady, not fucking her!" She makes me sit next to her, and starts clinging to me and whispering in my ear about doing anything. After awhile I get tired of her bossiness and jealous behavior, (very insecure this one) and I notice she is not well liked by the other ladies, who laugh at her behavior. She also gets drunk, and starts acting very strange, and I get bad vibes after a couple of hours. "Anything" is looking less and less appealing. Her voice is definitely getting on my nerves, and her drunkeness makes me wonder if she'll pass out before ever completing said "anything" or turn into one of those psycho bitch's we all abhor at 3 a.m.! I want out! I tell my friends I want to go, "and no I ain't taking this one, and be prepared for fireworks. I want to go get someone else, somewhere else, and let's go guys." I blow her off, saying I have a headache and am very tired. I slip her 500 baht to avoid a scene and skulked away, leaving dreams of "anything" in my wake. Later on I found someone, who did something, which was better than nothing, but definitely was not "anything"! Ahhh! For want of a sane woman of perverse carnal knowledge! Such things are divorces made of! Later fellow dreamers, Cent  [ June 14, 2001: Message edited by: Cent ] [ June 14, 2001: Message edited by: Cent ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 15, 2001 Report Share Posted June 15, 2001 quote: Originally posted by Cent: Can you feel my pain? If Hillary Clinton would fuck and feed her old dog Bill then maybe he wouldn't wander from the porch so often! Although there are way too many katoeys for my liking, and they seem to be much more aggressive there. Also they are better looking than most of the girls! The quality, on average, of the girls, I thought, was much poorer than Bangkok and Pattaya. They also had much attitude! Some snooty little things in some of the gogo bars. Nothing like Patpong, Nana Plaza, or Soi Cowboy! Lots of, "I only do short time." June 14, 2001: Message edited by: Cent ][/QB] I resemble that first remark! You are right way too many katoys and the girls had the snootiest attitude I've ever experienced in the LOS. [ June 15, 2001: Message edited by: BillClinton ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted June 15, 2001 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2001 Mr. President, Yeah, it was strange I thought. The girls weren't as nice as the other places I'd been, but they had a real sense of being superior. Some real snotty ones I met in a few of the gogos especially puzzled me. I first went there a couple of years ago because a friend of mine wanted to check it out, after we'd already been going to the LOS for quite a while. The beaches were great. But the hotels, at least the quality of hotel I like to stay in, were more expensive and the place didn't do much for me. Hey, it's better than most places, but I feel no need to experience Phuket again. Give me Pattaya any day. Seems the place is over run with a different brand of tourist, more newbies and, well, regular tourist types I guess I'd say, and a lot of the girls seemed to think they shit ice cream or something, and a lot harder to bargain down some then in Bangkok or Pattaya. Although I did find a real nice sexy lady I spent my last three days with. Fucked me raw and sore she did! Biggest tits I'd had on a Thai lady too! Nice girl, but a bit mercenary in the end. Named Da. I called her Da Bomb!! Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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