Guest Posted May 21, 2005 Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 Now half the Board Members are booking flights to India I guess the SinSot discussions where a Thai Woman and an Indian Man are involved must be quite fun :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 21, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 No need to go that far, just come to Leics hindu girls are lovely but I don't know what happens to them as you don't see many over 30 worth a seccond glance. Also they tend to be very hairy unlike thai's etc. My mate had a hindu GF once and he forgot to send her a birthday card one year. When he got home she had burnt herself to death in the street, I'll stick to thais-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 21, 2005 Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 We men GET dowry for we must support the women after the weddings --------------------------- Logic vs tradition. I like the logic...... er....Is there any word for LOGIC in thai? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 21, 2005 Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 P, "Is there any word for LOGIC in thai?" I believe it is "my pen rai." Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 21, 2005 Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 ib13 said:Sounds like nice wedding indeed & always great to have some more sin sod numbers as well as general expenditure to compare with. Thanks IB13 and all, Okay, now time for the hard reality after the wedding and sin sot negotiations and all this stuff. At least here I present one case of the aftermath of it all. One thing I hadn't mentioned is that a couple months before this wedding my wife's sister and her cop husband visited us and the family in the village. I was told by cop Dad that his daughter had moved back to their city, (after basically living in sin with her boyfriend in another city far away from the parental watchful eyes) and started her own mobile phone repair shop and accessories business. She was living in this new shop, a newly built place with a room for sleeping in back and a nice new hot water shower hong nam as well and small yard in back. We were invited to the shop-blessing party, which we did go to the next week, and had fun doing so. He told me the boyfriend, who she has been with and together with for quite a few years now, wanted to move into the shop house with the daughter, but cop Dad said, "No way! You want to stay with my daughter then you'll have to marry her and pay the sin sot." The boyfriend was calling her nightly crying and telling her he missed her too mutt and all that. No, seriously, he was actually sobbing on the phone nightly to her and her Mom. He does love her, I've seen them together for years now and can see they love each other deeply. So I said to cop Dad over a few beers that day, "Do you love your daughter and want to see her happy?" "Of course!" he says, a bit offended I could even ask this, "She's my only child. My only daughter. I want what's best for her." "Well, why are you making them wait to get married? They are old enough, you know he loves her and will take care of her. She's 24 now and he's 25. He has a good job. They've been together for years. What's the problem? Why don't you just have a wedding for them and get it over with and let them be happy together?" He tells me it's not that simple here. There's the face and family to consider. There's the sin sot to consider, and the cost of the wedding itself to consider. I countered with. "Please, spare me. I'll be spending 1 million baht for my own daughter's wedding in October. I will be getting no "sin sot" to help pay for any of this. Any presents and cash envelopes will go to the bride and groom as well, not to me and my ex-wife. I do this because I love my daughter and want her to be happy and have a wonderful day on her wedding. I am not rich either by American standards. Weddings in the US are, or can be, very expensive. This is what we farang do for our daughters. It's the opposite of what you Thai do. How long will you make them wait to marry? How much sin sot will he have to give to marry her?" We talk more about the differences between Thai and farang, sin sot, love, life, and drink more beer. He's actually an intelligent and easy going and amusing guy. He speaks some English, I understand some Thai, and speak a little, and Sis was there to translate the rough spots of all this extended conversation, with my wife who speaks better English than Sis, and understands far more, and the intended bride also there later in the conversation; who speaks fair English as well to help. Over the course of the day, and later that evening over a sumptuous meal the figuers I quoted before were drawn up to be presented to the husband-to-be. These numbers mostly came FROM the bride-to-be herself, and what she thought was acceptable to HER, not for her parents really. Now remember, this is Thai on Thai sin sot negotiations and expectations. This is what she, the girl, came up with with input from her family on the sin sot stuff. She of all of them knew what he would be able to come up with best, and she best of all of them knew what amount of "face" she wanted to be presented for family and neighbors to see what her "worth" as a bride was/is. Her father, my "brother-in-law" thanked me for talking with him about this and helping to get him to see it was all about his daughter's happiness more than anything else. And my talk helped inspire them to try to get this ball rolling, and helped bring things out in the open more, where the daughter could actually be able to speak her mind more openly and freely than she had been able to before this. I deliberately said things with her present to help her join in in this discussion of sin sot and her future wedding. They agreed that night to get together with the boyfriend and his family to work all this out and negotiate the sin sot and see when they could set up the wedding. The father's original amounts for the sin sot were way overblown in my eyes (as well as his daughter's too) and it would have taken the boyfriend another 3 to 5 years to come upo with the ridiculous amounts he first stated for this. His wife, my wife's sister, was much more reasonable about this stuff. Mainly she stated she just wanted to be able to pay for the wedding costs and have a bit left over to give to daughter and her new husband toward helping the new business prosper and give them a little nest-egg to tide them over while the new shop got on its legs so to speak. One part of the "agreement" was that husband-to-be would quit his job down in Chon Buri (working in a tire manufacturing plant) and move up to daughter's shop house to live and find work up there, and help her run the shop as well as he can do a lot of the repairs himself as well, all so daughter would be close to her family. I described the wedding itself earlier here in this thread. There is much more to this now that happened just this week I found out about. I'll write about this in another post later, as I have some stuff to do right now and cannot continue. But believe me, you'll be shocked by what has happened since the wedding day. At least I was; shocked and very disappointed. I'll continue later. Cent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun_Kong Posted May 21, 2005 Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 Damn you, making me wait until the next installment. Worse than a Thai soap opera. Wait- this IS a Thai soap opera! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted May 21, 2005 Report Share Posted May 21, 2005 damn was hoping you'd throw out some of those sin sod 'numbers' going from high to reasonable as I cant even remember from wedding post what it ended up as. anyways I'll sit tight & wait for next episode of the 'show' when actually managing engaging in controversial topics with the thai folks it can always turn out exciting I'm sure enough booze permitting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 22, 2005 Report Share Posted May 22, 2005 Thanks for taking all this time to write, Cent. Real interesting reads. I just had, last night, another exemple of things going awry with farang having set up himself a bit too easily in answering to tradtion and thinking you marry the family too. Mind you, he is married to a GTG, though family is from Issan, but not poverty-stricken. This guy "helped" since day one, and now the family AND WIFE, are not letting go. Now, everytime, he questions the need for this or that, it's a big SHOW of "losing face" for the family, and what he has done before, many can relate i am sure, is not accounted for. It's not what he's done, it's what he keeps on doing that now sets the RS with the family. It came to a point where being in a restaurant (in LOS), he kind of wordlessly was taken aback looking at the bill, (they travel everywhere with him, 5 or 6 people...), wife's bros saw that, and left the table saying "maybe we should have eaten som tam on the street"... This is so fucking rude! The point is not to say anything new here, we know these stories, but the guy still buys into the fact that they are really losing face and he ends up being made feel guilty for not acting as he should in his married thai family. I won't say, but i am amazed at the kind of money that he has spent already. I think he knows it's way out of hand, but his hands are tied. Not everyone can easily walk out of a marriage gone a bit too much arrangement and less love. Never forget that for 99% of farang/thai marriages, the arrangement is as important as the love. Take it out, love goes out the window. Take only love out, all gain for the thai side, they still have the "arrangement". Hope i am not being too profound here. Run of the mill thingo, really! :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 22, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 22, 2005 So how much sin sot did he pay then?-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 23, 2005 Report Share Posted May 23, 2005 I will ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.