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Sin sot-a TG view


thai3

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Jing Jing to that. I think if you 'love thailand' as so many profess to then you have to accept some things are not quite as you would always want them to be. We can sometimes get so jaded that we see scam the farang lurking around every corner. ::-peter

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Yes difficult for anyone to be 100% sure that money is not the main objective, i'm not suggesting farangs never get scammed as I have seen it first hand. Went to a wedding (KS went too) where the groom handed over 100,000 to marry a Pattaya bargirl. I believe he expected to get it back but it all disappeared and she followed a few weeks later :(. I suppose it takes some time to go by to put it all in perspective-peter

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getting scammed like your example & basically ended up with nothing would be one extreme while a more balanced scenario is like ours where we try to make a balanced decision on whether a sin sot is really acceptable & if yes then how high can we go & what do we expect to get back in return?

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Sin Sod is definately on in South Thailand.

 

My wife claims that on Samui Sin Sods are given back to the couple.

Maybe because the Samui parents are fairly well off compared to other parts of the country?

 

Lapaz62, if your future wife is divorced and has a child, the sin sod should be rather low or possibly no sin sod at all.

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You know all this talk of sin sod and farang not knowing what the proper etiquettesthereby getting taken advantage of, tells me one thing, most farang miss the the most important point. Sinsot involves NEGOTIATION. It is a FINANCIAL negotiation wrapped up in the ceremony of traditon and culture but the bottom line is that it is still FINANCIAL in nature.

 

Seems that most fellows are horrible deal makers and they put all of the leverage into the hands of the girl and her family. They seem to outmanuever themselves by buying into the tradition and cultural crap that should have no weight in the negotiated numbers.

 

In my business we say that he who controls the purse strings dictates the terms. I find it hard to fathom that a bunch of educated farang with experience in the modern working world get outmanueverd by a bunch of poorly educated farmers or Thai middle class social climbers. All for so called love and a piece of pussy.

 

No one enters a negotiation on equal term usually one side knows a little more, cares a little more or has an upper hand. In business your goal is to pay what is considered a fair value or less, if the deal does not make sense you walk away to negotiate at a later date. When you negotiate a sin sot I don't see how one would not apply the same practice.

 

You want to know if a chick really loves and wants to be with you then see if she takes the deal YOU offer not the deal her and her people offer.

 

Amazing how some guys will haggle to the last satang with a prostitute but the minute the get into the marriage and sin sot negotiations they hand over a blank check.

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thai3 said:

 

 

Yes difficult for anyone to be 100% sure that money is not the main objective, i'm not suggesting farangs never get scammed as I have seen it first hand. Went to a wedding (KS went too) where the groom handed over 100,000 to marry a Pattaya bargirl. I believe he expected to get it back but it all disappeared and she followed a few weeks later :(. I suppose it takes some time to go by to put it all in perspective-peter

 

 

100, 000bt is not alot of money but I am sure there is alot to that story and I am sure there were signs that he was going to get scammed. He was lucky. Some chicks would have had him build a house buy some land, a car, take out a life insurance policy and then have cousin Bok come down from the hills put a bullet in him and dissapear back into the hills.

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<<Lapaz62, if your future wife is divorced and has a child,>>

 

Yep - take my sster in law, PLEASE take my sister in law.

 

this is here 2nd marriage in a few weeks time. 20 000 baht, and the couple, as JJ said above, was negotiated in the Sin Sot that THEY pay half! ie prove they can save and make a commitment.

 

DOG

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Just adding my grain of salt here:

 

Attended the gf's sister wedding in Issaan last year, poor rice farmers, daughters were sent out to work to pay for house and everything else the parents owe.

 

The night before the wedding old ladies came to the house to prepare everything, nice flower piece they made.

In the evening men came to chop the meat from a cow to make laap, it went on for hours: pok, pok, pok

 

Next day I overheard mama saying "I wonder if the 30k sinsot will pay for all the wedding expenses? (food, booze)

 

A new room was built in the house for the couple to live in, the man will live at the girls parents house and participate in rice cultivation.

 

One more mouth to feed in the house for a sin sot?

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I meant something to be happy already FOR THE THAI FAMILY. It seemed obvious, given the drift of my post. A farang should definitely take the culture in account, but just because one loves Thailand, one should not cease to ascertain oneself, and put some farang rationale into the equation. To love Thailand does not mean to accept everything under its sky, as way of customs and behaviours, no?

 

 

 

 

 

IB13:well in this case it was 1st hand account posted by a thai girl living in bkk on another board & we dont really get a lot of those here do we?

 

we are no short however of know it all farang mega posters

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That's a bit disingenuous. Saying it 's a case by case thing is hardly "knowing it all". Frankly, I challenge you to dare say that anything in my post doesn't bear the ring of truth. Thai customs exist, but they are not as rigid as they are made to sound here.

 

About 1st hand account, I believe the guys here when they post something their thai other half said, as happened many times for years. I am not rebutting what she said, just saying it's one bell sound. A lot of thais marry without sinsod. I know a few. Am I lying?

 

KS wrote 2000, that's why I remember it. I was surprised too.

 

 

 

 

JJ:

I find it hard to fathom that a bunch of educated farang with experience in the modern working world get outmanueverd by a bunch of poorly educated farmers or Thai middle class social climbers. All for so called love and a piece of pussy.

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Could not say it better than that, JJ. For crissakes , guys, make the sinsod a rational decision on your part, it' s not your culture anyway no matter how much you adore Thailand, but don't pretend you follow a custom. You are only giving in to it. If it was not asked , I doubt you'd insist to fork it out in the name of custom. Shit, i don't love Thailand that much! :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

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