thai3 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 I am convinced my GF does love me but she also loves her family and cares what people think about them. So for the whole village to see her, from one of the oldest and most repected families there to get married with no sin sot or very small one would be hard for her to take. I just spent an hour with her on the phone talking about this and she says she thinks 200,000 would be the minimum. I agreed to this as long as I get half back and her step parents can have the other half. Add to that the gold which she keeps (4 baht) and rings, mine she has to pay for We get the money in the envelopes which looking at the state of the village would not come to much. It all adds up to bugger all really, about one years holiday money and lets face it who would want a guy who can't be arsed, for whatever reason, to spend as little as this on a girls special day to make her happy -peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Interesting, I was at a very Hi So wedding last year (didn;t know it was going to be though) Sinsot WAS paid! Also ironically the boy was a Christian (or so he said) Me thinks it's a Thai tradition in most parts of Thailand. My staff tell me vey common in the South too. DOG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Im afraid pure love is overrated considering the few 'benefits' that comes with it & the potential substansial time & effort invested to find it LOL. Even if theres true love in say LOS it may still take tough negotiations to seperate her 'love' to her family including the financial burdens it involve traditions etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 I think you got a fair deal with her paying your ring & all. Just curius regarding rings what'd be a 'normal' cost & form for those? Also considering farang/thai weddings, usually held in LOS where the brides family resides, is it common to have a second party & perhaps ceremoni in the grooms country even that would substansially add to the cost of it all, but given e.g. he's a sincere cristian/catholic it may be necessary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Rings can either be plain gold or diamond for both I believe, she started offering one baht but I said not enough I expect I will have to get hers to match. Actually I think 200,000 is a bit on the high side but she seems to have a high status in the village and a degree. She says it's the going rate, but I think people (thai) tend to inflate what their own sin sot was.Looked at a half carrat diamond ring before at 20,000 baht but I think you could easily do with one for 10,000. Just don't go for the fancy stuff you see in robinsons ::-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 1bt of white gold sounds about right & if decided to splurge a tiny diamond might be added! china town is where I'd go looking - never robinsons, central or emporium!! sure 200k may be a bit high depending on her age etc., but as you said its all negotiable. anyways another link about bride price Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 Thanks a lot for your post thai3 with a rare view from the thai women ----------------------- rare for you maybe. All the sinsod threads have copiously brought up how the thais, many, view it. Ok, a thai tradition? Sure, but we're farangs. We should be careful not to offend thai people, deal with such issues if needed, and not buy too much into "traditions", because as much as you want to go local, thais will always have a way at some point to let you know you are always on the outside, 30 billion sinsod or not. and I agree with lapaz that someone marrying a "lower income" thai woman is something to be happy of already. I am always cautious about "a thai told me that...:, doesn't mean much. A thai from BKK will not have the same take on a subject/custom as a thai from Issan, moreover they may not have any idea or be interested in what it means in other LOS locales, let alone the different assumptions from one neighbour to another (Jasmine made some good posts about this on other subjects). As much as the sinsod seems to our eyes, something equal to all thais (not so, actually), I believe the psychology behind it is quite different not only according to the region, but to the family as well. we can find guys who paid 30 million B, and guys who paid nothing, guys who gave for keeps and guys who got it returned. KS wrote one day he paid only 2000b, and from everything I read, family and farang are getting along well. So, case by case, and let's leave that mandatory "custom" thing where it belongs, with thais. IMO I also agree with OH that sinsod stuff is being played on farangs for greed often. Another tradition with a good life span.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmine Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 [color:"red"] It is NOT a Thai tradition to ask for sinsot ! [/color] Disagreed with you there BB. I also know a couple of Chritians who did the SinSod, where they went, no idea. Jasmine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thai3 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 and I agree with lapaz that someone marrying a "lower income" thai woman is something to be happy of already. why? surely often the poorer the girl the more the probabilty of a need to send money to the family. I think you mean KS paid 20,000, 2,000 would be worse than nothing.Here though the lady had no degree and a child already, still rather low though but then he was not earning a farang income.Also he has paid money for various things at the parents house I believe, air con, room extensions? (believe he posted all these details) No hard and fast rules on sin sot except that when it is brought up a section on any board always are anti what undoubtedly is a tradition in LOS. Many of these people though see no contradiction in being willing to fork out the same amount on a couple of holidays when they give tens of thousands of baht to prostitiutes they have only known for an hour ::-peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chilli13 Posted May 9, 2005 Report Share Posted May 9, 2005 well in this case it was 1st hand account posted by a thai girl living in bkk on another board & we dont really get a lot of those here do we? we are no short however of know it all farang mega posters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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