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Got Ultimatum from TG


maxal

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Hi All,

Its been a long time since I've posted. Regarding jobs, "be careful what you wish for" definitely applies to me. I got a promotion at work and most of my internet surfing time was cut down next to nothing due to life's other obstacles.

 

However, I'm back at least to some decent capacity.

 

I've received an ultimatum from the current Thai lady. She is from Isaan, previously married but her husband was killed in a car accident when she was pregnant. Of course, her life changed drastically. Now, she is in debt and has a kid without a dad. She stopped working at a good, but not well paying job and started working at a bar to get everything in balance. I saw her for 4 months. We lived and traveled together. Then we decided to get more serious. I came back home to make some money. She's been brutally honest about her situation and mine. She says she understands me but she doesn't want to pass up other opportunities to better secure her future and of her family. While I've been working, she stayed longtime with a guy who's ready to toss A LOT more money than myself to marry her. She said the guy's vacation has ended and he went home. She says she just didn't feel for the guy despite the money. It got her thinking about our situation though.

 

At this time, she wonders why I sent her an ATM card if I don't fully trust her. I told her about a previous TG relationship where I was sending money until I found out there was two other guys doing the same for her too. (It was only the beginning of the lies with that other TG before I dropped her, by the way.) So, she understands why I hesitate and don't want to get hurt and lose money again. She doesn't want me to send money if I'm not sure about her. At the same time the TG knows, I can do it if I REALLY wanted to send it. It's true but counterproductive for me at the moment. The TG requests I send her 15k baht per month -she'll go home and care for her kid until I return. Also, she doesn't want to wait around for 4 months even if money from me does come her way. She wants me there in LOS or for me to bring her back to the USA. "Up to me," she said. If I can't provide the money and meet her time limit, she'll look for another guy who will give her as she says in her own words the "kindness" she needs. She told me I have the luxury to wait for a serious relationship but she doesn't. Should she find the new guy to provide this kindness for her, she'll call me to say she's got a new guy and send me back my ATM card. The ATM card doesn't belong to her she says and she doesn't want to keep it.

 

I'm supposed to return to LOS in four months pending a job offer but she no longer wants to wait that long. Before I left she claimed she could wait. If the job offer doesn't fly for me, it might be about a year before I return. I told her this too. I'm not willing to give her that amount of baht she requests right away. Most of my money is tied up in investments to have more money when I return to LOS. I told her about my plan to start her at 8K and with more time and trust I would increase the monthly amount until if and when we get to the point of marriage. She wants 15K-20K to not return to the bar work.

 

Now, I understand how other punters get so much in the middle of situations, it's difficult to see the solution or what to do for myself- it's easy when you're not in the middle of it.

 

How do any of you suggest I sway her to my plan or how should I very gently part ways with her?

 

To this point, she's been the best overall TG to enter my life. It would be nice to keep touch with her life regardless of whether its me or someone else that's caring for her. I'm a very picky fucker but I'd marry this one if things were better situated. She's not a hardened BG yet. Only 6 months in the biz to date. The clean, golden appearance and sincere smile are still there.

 

Please help, I need some guidance before I decide.

 

Thanks, Maxal

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maxal said:

 

I've received an ultimatum from the current Thai lady.... .

She's been brutally honest about her situation and mine. She says she understands me but she doesn't want to pass up other opportunities to better secure her future and of her family.

 

Ultimatum = emotional blackmail (IMO)

Brutally honest?? about HER situation!!

Understands me.....no mention of Love or feelings....Not a good starting point (again IMO)

 

All seems a bit "Business like" from where I sit

 

 

She doesn't want me to send money if I'm not sure about her.

The TG requests I send her 15k baht per month -she'll go home and care for her kid until I return.

 

Again, the emotional blackmail....complete with price tag

 

Also, she doesn't want to wait around for 4 months even if money from me does come her way. She wants me there in LOS or for me to bring her back to the USA. "Up to me," she said. If I can't provide the money and meet her time limit, she'll look for another guy who will give her as she says in her own words the "kindness" she needs.

. Should she find the new guy to provide this kindness for her, she'll call me to say she's got a new guy and send me back my ATM card. The ATM card doesn't belong to her she says and she doesn't want to keep it.

 

 

Ditto ...Ditto....Ditto....

 

I'm supposed to return to LOS in four months pending a job offer but she no longer wants to wait that long. Before I left she claimed she could wait.

If the job offer doesn't fly for me, it might be about a year before I return.

 

If 4 months is an issue now, how will this go down????

 

 

How do any of you suggest I sway her to my plan or how should I very gently part ways with her?

 

Put simply.........RUN....as fast as your legs can move.....

 

 

To this point, she's been the best overall TG to enter my life. It would be nice to keep touch with her life regardless of whether its me or someone else that's caring for her. I'm a very picky fucker but I'd marry this one if things were better situated.

 

 

If things were better situated........... sorta sums things up.........If the timings not right, it will never work..... Maybe think back to last time and analyse the current situation (with Big head) IMHO there already seems to be too many demands and if you give in to these now, they will only increase as time goes by...

 

Thanks, Maxal

 

Best of luck, hope everything works out for the best....for everybody concerned.

 

Chock dee Dumsoda :beer: :beer:

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She sounds sincere about her actions. Most would just be taking your money durin gthe 4 months you aren't there while searching for another. But you can never be 100% sure.

 

I would hesitate to call it blackmail, since she is correct. Trying to get your family supported, is a lot easier when the girl is younger. She doesn't have the luxury of waiting for what some would percieve as "true love".

 

I say let her look for the time being, while you are not in LOS. See if she does find somebody else. See if you still feel the same in 4 months. IMO making a hasty decision will only hurt you in the long run.

 

It's just my 2 cents, but I also think you should go with your gut decision.

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Max,

 

If you are sort of serious with her, maybe send her the 15,00 a month she asks for, then see how that goes, it's only $1200 USD if you can afford that to buy yourself some time, though she may just be playing a different version of the game here, who knows? we never really know with Women, and Thai women less than that.

 

In any event, she does seem a bit desparate, and quick to decide her future. No doubt she will have trouble if she marries the other guy she doesn't love, and no doubt you might have trouble as well...but good luck, keep us posted. You are the first in this situation, you won't be the last...

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I say let her look for the time being, while you are not in LOS. See if she does find somebody else. See if you still feel the same in 4 months. IMO making a hasty decision will only hurt you in the long run.

 

Thanks, Weird.

My gut decision tells me this is way ahead of my schedule. My schedule, my money, my feelings. Too hasty. I'm really thinking of stepping back and let her look. It's her life right?

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Thanks OH,

We were getting pretty serious before I left. Preparing to meet her parents, where to live when I return to LOS, etc. Now, that we both went back to our previous locations to prepare, her thinking has started to change. I thought about just buying time but I'm not sure about my return dates to LOS. I don't like to string along people's hopes and dreams. Either I cough up some money or wait it out. I'm thinking the latter. I'll keep you all posted.

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