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aesthete

"the story"

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ok, i read a reasonable amount here on the forums before coming to visit, and it sure helped prepare me for what I found. Now that I am here, experience is an even greater teacher. So, there's "the story" that i've heard from every BG that i've chatted up. It goes something like this:

 

1. I'm from Isaan or some other rural/farm province

2. I have been here 1-4 months, only (this is only usually a part of the story, i've had bouts of honesty from some girls)

3. I have no bf

4. Everything I do, I do to take care of elderly mother/father/parents/sister who wants to go to school

 

From what i've read both here, and in literature about Thai culture, the part about caring for parents is a very big part of the Thai way. I love this story, it's a very endearing one. I've found that the girls i've chatted up have been very sweet.

 

Now I try to have no illusions about how the world works. The laws of capitalism apply everywhere there is a free market. "The Story" is a very good one becuase it automatically endears you to the girl. If "the story" does not apply to a girl, won't she likely use it anyway? I wonder how often "the story" is true of a girl. Thai girls are very sweet in general, but in a country where the hos are motivated my making money, rather than an abusive pimp or need to score more drugs, well i'd imagine that the quality of their product would improve at a great pace.

 

"the story" is a part of the product that they provide.

 

I'm just wondering how often the story is sincere. I'm not sure i really care how often thier "sweetness" is sincere. If you know how to act that sweet, and can pull it off, you are either a top level con artist, or have a pretty reasonable heart.

 

I saw multiple warnings to first timers: "don't fall in love"

 

well, i can't say i've followed that rule very well, I seem to have fallen in love about 5 or 6 times in the week i've been here. i'm just pessimistic enough to keep myself from letting it get out of hand, but optimistic enough to really enjoy "the story"

 

Hell, even the non-bg's i've chatted with have been total sweethearts. I might be deluded, but I'm sure i'm going to leave this country with a very high opinion of the women in this country.

 

Of course, i'm probably just in love with "the story"

 

kick back some analysis for me. how often is it all bullshit? are these girls really not as sweet as I think?

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"...kick back some analysis for me. how often is it all bullshit?..."

 

Almost always some truth to it, and almost always Bull shit.

 

" ...are these girls really not as sweet as I think?..."

 

Yes...and No...

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Most are doing what they have to do to get by. I have sat and talked to several bgs and none of them like what they are doing. I know I wouldn't want some fat drunk farang on top of me in a hotel room.

 

Most are supporting family or their own children. I talked to a freelancer last time I was in BKK. She worked as a cook during the day and every once in a while went with guys for money. She said if she didn't have a child to support from a failed marriage she wouldn't be going with anyone.

 

Think of it as service with a smile no matter what they really think of you they will smile. Hence the name Thailand has "Land of Smiles".

 

Enjoy yourself and even though they are bargirls treat them with respect. They don't want to be there but because of the lack of real opportunities for most of them they are doing what they have to to get by.

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"...Most are doing what they have to do to get by. I have sat and talked to several bgs and none of them like what they are doing...They don't want to be there but because of the lack of real opportunities for most of them they are doing what they have to to get by.

.."

 

This is part of the illusion they give off, many I know will not quit, given the chance. Truth is, many like it, it is a party life, dancing, drinking, talking partying, trips etc... many love the money, the "face" they get from the money, as well as the power and status. The fat farang on top of them is considered by many to be a small price. And truth be told, many are to lazy to go do anything else. Some latch on to a good deal and give farang land a try, many fail and return home. Farm more BG disaster stories than success stories from my experience.

 

Many I know end up with nothing, and never really leave the game 100%...I know 40+ year old girls comming back to see their old regulars, leaving the kids and Thai (or sometimes farang) husband at home. Some I know return from marrying a farang, and work when in LOS on holiday...Never buy the "...I hate this and don't want to do it..." crap, plenty of pooer girls never enter the business. The ones who truely hate it quickly quit and go do something else...just my experiencein this matter...

 

"...Enjoy yourself and even though they are bargirls treat them with respect...."

 

100% agree with this statement.

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I agree with Old Hippie here. The line of not liking the job is a mixed bag of chips. Given an oppurtunity to earn the same money and not be a bargirl would they take it? Some would most wouldn't. Saying they don't like it is a win-win for them and surely part of the illusion. It removes them from the stigma of doing something taboo and endears them to be saved from the "White Knight" farang. BGs almost universally live a party lifestyle. Staying up late, gambling, dabbling in drugs, dancing, while it might get tiresome to not only bonk a fat old farang but simply be in his company.. The idea of sitting behind a desk 10 hours a day for 1/4th of what they make in the bar is ten times as tiresome. The only reason I ever feel sorry for a BG is that they so often end up with nothing even with their heightened earning power because this is paired with the partying and carefree lifestyle. For the few who end up with a large savings account, a house or even a business I think they made the right decision and I'm happy to help them get there.

 

About Thai girls being sweeter than the rest? I'd say no. They are way more manipulative, given to paroxysms and self-centeredness. Now if you want to argue for cute then yes I agree. They both look and act in a youthful way that is much more appealing than some of the serious minded overly analytical chicks you might meet in the west.

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Old Hippie said:

 

... This is part of the illusion they give off, many I know will not quit, given the chance. Truth is, many like it, it is a party life, dancing, drinking, talking partying, trips etc... many love the money, the "face" they get from the money, as well as the power and status. ...

 

I'm having a relatively recent awareness that this seems to be greatly age affected. I don't know the exact numbers, but it would seem that after a certain age, maybe 30 years old, they truly DON'T want to be part of the scene. Seems the younger they are, the more they fall into the "high life" trap, illusory as it is. But, illusion works best with children and childlike minds, yes? I think also that the idea that there might actually be a future becomes much more real as they age, same as with most people

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Old Hippie and Ginseng, I love your replies, sums it up perfectly!

 

"The Story" made me think when i had some time to sit alone on the beach!

 

the questions I asked myself are:

 

when every bg got pregnant between 17-22 and the thai boy ran away as soon he got the news...

 

why are they so careless and don't prevent themselves from beeing pregnant? They should have heard about that a billon of times before.

 

* Don't they have the money to buy protection?

* Are they too embarassed to buy a condom?

* Or are they simply bored by the life in the village and they are looking for an opportunity to go out to the big world?

* Or maybe "the story" isn't true?

 

2nd part of "the story" is

"I Hate Thai Man" because they ran away when she was pregnant!

 

* This is not true in the most cases!

* many girls have a thai man who is okay with her job!

* many girls prefer a Falang man because he can take better care of her!

* If Thai Men would have the same income than Falang Men, if they wouldn't have trouble to visit other countries, i bet we would had to talk to ourselves when we are going to a beer bar :)

 

:twocents:

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if half the rape and abandonment stories are true - which I kind of doubt, as they are probably greatly exaggerated and more likely to be heard from BGs than other women, but let's assume that they are for a moment - I could see why women would prefer foreigners. I've just kind of taken all those stories with a grain of salt.

 

I find it hard to imagine a culture that accepts those things and maintains itself. there are certainly places in america where abandoment and rape are very common and accepted, and those are the shitholes of america, the worst ghettoes and projects.

 

friends I've known looking to leave a child have been ostracized for it, and i can't imagine accepting a rapist in your social group (much less watching it happen...)

 

So i'm just assuming that the "Thai men treat us like shit" is really an exaggeration, and in fact most Thai men just can't afford to treat them as well....

but who knows what the truth really is. Different cultures can bring about very different attitudes.

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Old Hippie said:

"...Most are doing what they have to do to get by. I have sat and talked to several bgs and none of them like what they are doing...They don't want to be there but because of the lack of real opportunities for most of them they are doing what they have to to get by.

.."

 

This is part of the illusion they give off, many I know will not quit, given the chance. Truth is, many like it, it is a party life, dancing, drinking, talking partying, trips etc... many love the money, the "face" they get from the money, as well as the power and status. The fat farang on top of them is considered by many to be a small price. And truth be told, many are to lazy to go do anything else. Some latch on to a good deal and give farang land a try, many fail and return home. Farm more BG disaster stories than success stories from my experience.

 

Many I know end up with nothing, and never really leave the game 100%...I know 40+ year old girls comming back to see their old regulars, leaving the kids and Thai (or sometimes farang) husband at home. Some I know return from marrying a farang, and work when in LOS on holiday...Never buy the "...I hate this and don't want to do it..." crap, plenty of pooer girls never enter the business. The ones who truely hate it quickly quit and go do something else...just my experiencein this matter...

 

"...Enjoy yourself and even though they are bargirls treat them with respect...."

 

100% agree with this statement.

 

I think you have an overly simplistic view on 'like it'. They choose it, and it that respect can be viewed as 'prefering it' _ there and then.

 

Many girls, and do not think Thailand here, who have been abused turn to promiscious behaviour but that does not mean it's positive.

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