Saigon story

[Julian2]

This tale is of a subject most of us have enjoyed on occasions, the introduction of a newcomer to the scene to the delights of South East Asia. A couple of years ago I was living in Angeles City in the Philippines when my mate Bob rang me to see if I wanted to meet him and a friend in Saigon for a couple of weeks then carry on to Cambodia and Thailand. I was in a relationship that was foundering rapidly at the time, (she got married to a Philipino while I was in Australia for three months) and was glad of the excuse to get away. I got there a couple of days early to scout the land out and sort a hotel, booking for myself at the airport hotel desk and then trying to book for my mates at the hotel. Travel note: the better Vietnamese hotels can be up to half the price if booked at the Airport rather than at the Hotel. So I rang them and advised them to book themselves in on arrival and they ended up in a similar hotel a couple of blocks away. Bob?s mate Andrew turned out to be a cheerful bloke who liked his bottle but was a complete newcomer to Asia. One night soon after their arrival he and I were walking back to his hotel from a restaurant and these two young ladies on motorbikes drove up onto the footpath and blocked our way. ?Boom boom, ten dollar? they announced. Not fancying getting on the back of a motor bike and going God knows where in a strange city in the middle of the night I thanked them for the kind offer and declined. When we got back, a somewhat bemused Andrew said, ?What?s boom boom?? I just looked at him and he went Oh, Ohhh!

The next morning found us on the river ferry to Vaung Tau, a beach resort about an hour away, then walking along the Esplanade in the company of a very nice, completely respectable, Vietnamese girl we had hired as an interpreter/guide for the princely sum of three dollars US a day. Somehow she got ahead of us and a girl on a motorbike pulled up and struck up a conversation. After the pleasantries were exchanged, in good English on her behalf, she then asked if one of us would like to accompany her to a nearby hotel. As I was about to decline Andrew interrupted and said he wouldn?t mind. Not wanting to spoil his fun I found out where they were going and decided he couldn?t get into much trouble at eleven in the morning; so I told the girl we were getting the three o?clock ferry and if he wasn?t at the terminal by two I?d ring the tourist police. Sure enough two o?clock came and no Andrew and I went for a bit of a walk and there he was coming down the road. To say he had enjoyed the experience is putting it mildly, not having stuck it into anything other than old boilers for years, and he sang the girl?s praises until I told him to shut up and get some beers in before the ferry left. As he went to pay at the bar he looked a bit puzzled and announced there appeared to be a US$100 note missing out of his wallet.

The following conversation occurred.

Me: didn?t you keep an eye on your clothes?

A: she never went near them.

Did you have a shower?

Yes.

Where were your clothes?

On the bed.

Where was she?

In the shower with me (smirk smirk), God, what a body.

Did she shut the bathroom door?

Err, yeah, come to think of it she did.

Did you put the security latch on the hotel room door when you came in?

Errr?. No I don?t think I did?IT WAS BLOODY WELL STILL WORTH IT THOUGH!!!!!