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advice needed


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ZN said:

 

>>If it was someone she met then she would've had to have given the number, giving requires a motive/reason.....so what was her reason for doing so? Giving a number to a stranger is odd, unless she was attracted to him....no other reason would be acceptable....unless she is really stupid/naive.<<

 

This is the crux of the matter. Does giving out the ph # mean the end of the rt. Rorian will have to decide that.

 

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I've known her for about 10 months now. I am staying with her right now in her apartment for a couple months or so.

 

We are both in our early-mid 20's.

 

I don't ST or LT with any other ladies. I do go out drinking with friends though. She occasionally accuses me of having another lady (which I don't) which leads me to believe she may have or find a guy on the side as a back-up plan or maybe revenge (though un-needed and unjustified).

 

I don't sponsor her, though I am paying for her apartment while I am here. I have made it clear to her that I am looking for a long term relationship with her.

 

What I saw is eating me up inside. I guess I am hoping for the best.

 

I'll take all the advice into consideration.

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Zombie,

Zaads advice involves seeing if she loves him....what's he going to do? Ask her? What do you think she will say?? She already got caught lying....so it's obviously not a problem for her to do so...

 

You're way to quick with draw conclusions here.

Mailuk is right that there's way too little info on their situation (including past which we know shit about) to make such decisions or even mere speculation.

 

Also not unimportant was Bangkoktraveler's suggestion to find out what is causing her behavior.

 

Rorian (where are you btw?) seems to care for this girl. Why else would he post here and ask us for help.

Well, if this girl means something to him then *nothing other than FACTS* should be taken into account when deciding his next move.

 

I think Rorian is wise to doubt her....her explanation needs to be pretty damn good! I suspect it wont be.....

 

'Suspect' only is not enough...well at least not in my book when confronted with such situations and the possible need for drastic decisions. It's not like he's going to choose a shoe color or something.

 

Crux IMO is that he should find out if she loves him back and is willing to correct herself if she's in the wrong. Talk to her, open up, speak up your mind, also...give her a chance (fuck, we all screw up, don't we?) to undo her wrongs, and if so find solutions.

 

But only Rorian knows her and her past...if he believes she won't be able to comply then there's no need to waste time trying, but if he has hope he should allow her this opportunity.

But be hard and strict... anything less than 100% co-operation and it's game over.

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I love these discussions....everyone posts their opinion based upon their own personality and experiences....

 

Your points above are flawed....

 

1. If it was someone she met then she would've had to have given the number, giving requires a motive/reason.....so what was her reason for doing so? Giving a number to a stranger is odd, unless she was attracted to him....no other reason would be acceptable....unless she is really stupid/naive.

 

2. Previous boyfriend....well in a close, loving relationship, there is supposed to be trust....trust is given based upon reciprocal actions, one of which is being open with each other....Rorian states he is in love with this girl, it's been going on a while therefore, so openness would be expected....therefore why would she conceal? She has a secret....why? It's in her interests to be open with Rorian, as he is supposed to be important to her....so why conceal? It makes matters worse, what she does/is doing....helps nothing....only creates doubt and suspicion, why therefore would she want her boyfriend to feel like that?

 

3. All people lie....why do it? If Thai ladies are so poor at it, why do so many men get suckered in every time? I think Rorian is wise to doubt her....her explanation needs to be pretty damn good! I suspect it wont be.....

 

I agree with an earlier post, if you need to sneak a look at your ladies mobile, trust is gone....or you suspect....with reason....a mobile is not private per se, it is a communication device, not a holder of secrets...if it is a no-go area, ask yourself why?

 

Finally 'i don't/didn't want to upset you/make you sad' is code for i have secrets........

 

 

i totally agree with you...to me there seems to be some kind of cover up...and to sit back and just let things happen would be foolish ...weather you kick her ass to the curb or not ,this definitely need further investigating sooner than later....do not be a slave to the pussy any longer than you have too...

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Glad to see there are some real men on this board who agree with me.

 

I will point out, that this goes baxck to 2 posts I made last week or so. 1 "why so many new names?" Here a guy admits he is posting under a different board name o.k. I guess, I just really don't see a need to hide behind it, as most of us probably don't know him, and will never meet him, but I respect his choice, and his honesty in admitting it.

 

The second thread I started was called "explain this?" Basically this thread here, is what I was talking about there. Everytime we have a discussion on problems with women, it seems the guys who say "dump the bitch" go into one camp, and get labeled "misogonistic" etc, and the Flowery philisophical feminzed guys post go into the other camp suggesting we just accept the crap, go with the flow, analize why this is happening etc...and they get labeled as well, flowery, philispohical and feminized.

 

All that said, it has, I must agree gotton sort of boring. I mean it is always the same old senario, a guy posts a problem we have all heard before (or been through before) I post my crap, MaiLuk posts his crap, and we divide off into who agrees with who...the original poster NEVER takes the advice, and just goes on as he was going to do anyway...

 

So, fun as it is, why post the questions, and why discuss the relationship problems? The guy posting this thread originally, is an established poster he has said, so he should have been able to predict who was going to say what...before he ignores it. Seems like we always go back and fouth on the same road here...

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"...>Allow me to be the voice of reason here...DITCH THE BITCH! LOSE THE FLOOZE...KICK THE HO OUT THE DO'...

 

Hmm. the voice of reason eh? No offense here, and I do not know whether its a "board pose" or not, but you are becoming increasingly strident in your outlook in Thai women (including bgs). From the little I recall of your saga's *you* got shafted by a Thai girl, (or two?)..."

 

 

You misunderstand a bit here, it is ALL women I distrust, not just Thai Girls or bar girls. I do however trust bar girls/whores a lot more than I would trust a "GTG." I find whores far more honest. For the record, I have been lied to and had attempted games played on me, by more "GTGs" /

"GGs" Than Bar girls.

 

"...It might be the time to start getting over it, and not see *everything* in light of your past experiences...."

 

Those who forget the past are condemed/doomed to repeat it. Thus I refuse to play the same old games again, and first sign of any bullshit, the game is over, the girl gone, and I move on. It is funny, how many times we hear the same old story here, yet some guys will just not face the fact, that it is the same old crap happening again, to someone else... Yes, exceptions apply, but why take the risk? Would you stick your hand in a pond full of hungry crocodiles? after all, they *might* not bite *you.*

 

BTW, NOT a "board pose," I am just getting more and more fed up with women and their crap, be it in dating, at work, or society in generel. I am additionally getting fed up with men's willingness to put up with it all...but then I suppose we have no choice...?

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