TeeHeeHee, it pays to know the cuture!

[YimSiam]

'Attention' and respect/face aren't necessarily the same thing - if someone hands out thousand baht notes but makes negative comments about the royal family, he'll probably still get a lot of attention next time, but not much respect. If the bargirls were aghast, it seems to me that face was lost on both sides, Suadum and the girl... But who cares, bars are for playing around and having fun, and as long as no one gets hurt, it's all good...

 

YimSiam (who has certainly lost face in bars before, and will do so in the future, no doubt!)

[Flashermac]

I believe I have mentioned before the Brit who was attacked with a hammer as he left NEP because he gave an obnoxious BG in Hollywood Rock a 25 satang tip. His mate came looking for him, saw the pool of blood, and went back to the HR demanding to know what had happened. He then traced the victim to the Police Hospital and had him transfered to Bamrungrad. The docs at Bamrungrad said that one more blow would have definitely finished the guy.

 

Play money games with BGs at your own risk.

 

[Old Hippie]

I am confident Suadam knows what he is doing with this girl, in this situation. If not, he has a helmit

[lembeh]

I find it a bit difficult to put these two bits together:

 

>all her co-workers were aghast that I would be so rude, as in gasping and hands to face

 

>Revenge: a dish best served cold (and subtly, I'll add).

 

 

and indeed, it would seem far from "subtle". However, my feeling (FWIW), is you went way beyond "losing face" (or "teaching a lesson") and into the realms of "dire insult" or "public humiliation".

 

 

Now whether she wants to "even the score" to "regain her face", well, we will just have to wait an see.

-j-

 

PS: as a general aside, I *still* do not understand the drive for purportedly intelligent men to feel the need to drop to the level of a bar girl to "even the score". Are you not *better* than than????

 

[Old Hippie]

Josh,

 

Have you ever been seriously wronged by someone? maybe even a Bar girl? If so, what was you first/immediate reaction? I tend to think most people who have been involved with someone would want to "even" the score, whether they do so or not is another story.

 

Simply walking away is one thiong, maybe some would consider it the "stand upo thing to do" not "lowering yourself...etc" Others might consider it just being a punk and not having the balls to stand up for yourself. To me, I don't care who it is, if someone wrongs me, I am going to do something back.

 

I have posted before about the 1-2 times I Did nothing when someone wronged me, and to this day, I feel like a punk for doing so. Even another Thai girl (educated, non bg) told me I should have done something to regain honor. She said doing nothing just empowered the other party.

 

Thai men don't put up with 1/2 the shit these girls pull with us. WHich is why many don't respect us. Suadam was wronged, this girl was attempting to humilate him. Doing nothing would mean he'd lose face in that bar, why should he? He did the right thing sticking up for himself. I am sure she and the other girls will think tweice before trying something of that sort with him again.

[lembeh]

 

I think you need to re-read the original post, as she was not "trying to humiliate him" it was "revenge" for some past slight.

 

However, be that as it may, when you start talking about " to regain honor" and " he'd lose face in that bar", I just think you have lost the plot.

 

You really do not get it. The whole point here is that we are talking about the bar scene and Thai hookers. Why the hell do you care about some tarts "respect". Is your self esteem so low, that what a semi-random thai tart thinks about you *matters*???? If it does I am really quite sorry for you.

-j-

[Old Hippie]

Thanks for your pitty. You seem to have missed the plot as well. Perhapes we are just from different back grounds? Bottom line why let a "tart" or anyone shit on you and walk away? Is your self esteem that low that you feel a need to take this crap and do nothing? maybe you think you deserve it? or fear having to fight for yourself?

 

To me, it doesn't matter if it is a "tart/Thai hooker" in the bar scene, or a member of society's most elite, I am not going to take crap off anyone and let them get away unanswered.

 

It isn't about what "they" think of you so much as what you think of your self. If you want to let "tarts" and others/everyone shit on you, be my guest,I have higher self esteem, and I roll a differrent way.

[wonderlust]

If a couple of kids squirt water at you or call you a "poo poo face" do you feel the need to "stand up for yourself" to "regain honour"? If you want to give them a good clip round the ear there and then to teach them respect, all well and good. But to come back the next week and do something equally childish would simply lower you to the level of a child. Suadam has, I believe, lowered himself to the level of an immature tart. Of course he's made himself popular with the other girls because he's handing them money for nothing. But has he "saved face" or taught anyone the importance of respect? I doubt it.

[dean]

Thais have little respect for either Thais or farangs that are "pushovers." Suadum's actions were mainly for the benefit of the other employees at the bar; that there is a line that if it is crossed, there are repercusions. Maybe the BG in question learned from Suadum's actions but that is secondary.

[..]

Dean, that's pretty much spot on. I am a very nice guy, and pride myself on that, but nice guys DO finish last. So you need to be a prick sometimes. I hate that, but it needs to be done. This was one of those times.

 

And not just for the employees, but other patrons as this is a "local" of mine. *No one* respects a pushover.

 

Cheers,

SD

 

PS -- Josh, there was more to it (like a bit of trying to humiliate me) than I wrote about. Had that not happened, I would have done nothing. I still say I made the right move, but would not reccommend it to everyone. YMMV would be an understatement.