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Excerpt from my trip report about eatin' bugs...

"Excuse me waiter. There's a bug in my snot."

Sarcastic remark of a woman inmate looking at her dinner in a BKK prison.

"Brokedown Palace"

**********

It is the end of my long time in Thailand. It seems like this time I saw more bugs than last time. And over the three months I have been here it seems like I have seen more and more each week. At first the vendors had two or three models to choose from, now the carts are piled high with six of seven. When I pass by the carts I walk quickly by without looking. This must be bug seasons in Issan.

Up until now, a few days from the end, I have left them alone. But this evening I am sitting with a bunch of excited ladies around a table at a bar in Pattaya. I am eating a piece of lean barbecued chicken. A special vendor must have come by, now - I can't quite see the street. But the girls are jumping up excitedly, running off and coming back with bags of insects - big grasshoppers, fat water bugs, and larvae. Girls from the other bars are streaming past us. Two bags end up at our table and my friend hands me a grasshopper, "Papa want?" "Okay, okay." Papa is not sure he want, but what the hell? Papa has a thing about trying everything once and he don't see anybody dying. On the contrary, they are munching away and giggling like kids at a barbecue.

I take the inch and half long grasshopper and think: Which part do you eat? Dipping sauce or no dipping sauce? I hold the bug by the head, contemplating its butt. Yes, that looks good! There is crunching and sucking all around me. Well maybe not good, but if you are going for protein, wouldn't it be in the tender squishy part? I bite. Hummm... crunch. No problem... This guy or gal has been fried like a potato chip. I look into the hollow barrel of the belly I have severed. The innards have been shrunk into a little black thread during the fry. I pop the rest - head, feelers and long legs into my mouth. Crunch, crunch. Not bad. Nip holds out another: "One more?" I take.

For dessert I am offered a larvae. Ah yes...nothing like a delicious bug abortion to polish off a good meal. Is a Chateau Margeux or a Lafitte Rothchild preferred? Just drink the Singha beer I have I guess, and pop the half inch long quarter inch round egg in my mouth. Hummm.... ?

This one does have a bit of squish to it, but there is nothing offensive about it. Oh, I'm not saying it is good. But not too bad. I limit myself to two. Watching the waistline, you know.

Sanuk Dee,

Zane May

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