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U.S. Customs-LAX-ugh...


jitagawn

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Its always unnerving really. Dead tired at the end of 24 hours of travel I nonetheless smiled at immigration when the young (not bad looking) lady stamped my passport and wished me a nice day after inscribing a 1 with a circle at the top of my customs form. Having noted this seems to be a good sign I approached the next interviewer before my hopeful exit. She snarled the usual questions at me How long were you gone? Where did you go? What do you do for ali ving? Do you HAVE A COMPUTER?... Well I should never have told her I am an artist and yes i have a computer. She snarled some more and wrote in red at the top of my sweaty customs card.

 

Upon further inspection my next interviewer snarled the SAME QUESTIONS (repeatedly) and started from top to bottom to peer into every nook and cranny of my personal belongings. He looked through EVERY book. Repeated his questions endlessly. He took out all of my business cards and went through every one fucking one of them!!

NEVER had that happen)And so on it went, this fat little man grunting and puffing upon every finding." What is this "he suspiciously asked as he lifted up my special portable reading lamp? A special portable reading lamp I replied "and these he snarled?" "A blacklight and loupe for examining the signatures on old paintings"...and on it went. Fuck wit he was and dumb as a door post or at least his questions were. "I'm satisfied with this bag" he puffed and pointed to my digital camera suspiciously. "Lets look at what you have been taking pictures of."He found nothing of interest only some antique Buddhas and bronze and he then asked me to turn on my fucking computer! I had been calm as a cucumber until then..."Look here this is ridiculous SIR the only nude photos you are going to find on that computer is of my naked wife when she was pregnant.Do you really want o look at them?I snarled?"(Had to document that phase...) "I didnt say I was looking for naked photos" he sneered." I briefly turned on my computer and sneered well "what would you like to look at my art website or perhaps an over view of my 35 year oeuvre?"He backed off and said you can turn it off sir... (first sir in 30 minutes)And on it went...

 

Oh and your fanny pack! Do yo always carry so much cash? How much is it? "6800$ US" "Did you delcare it" he asked I replied"I dont have to its under 10k Go ahead and and count it if your a mind to." He finally smiled and said lets get you outta here. Thank you I said .

 

Assholes.

 

Ok guys ...the computer is obviously an issue as they are looking for pedo crap thanks to that asshole Karr that wanted to be strung up for Jon Benet Ramsey and of course I dont know what I was thinking I never should tell anyone I am an artist...(My bad)But what the fuuck? Every business card and all of my purchase receipts? UGH Granted I have flown through the last 6-8 times un -impeded and maybe my time was up but it was really annoying and took about 40 minutes...

 

OH what is your analysis?.What to avoid? These assholes are not just looking through your bag they are looking at all of your receipts every scrap of paper.Really annoying.Me thinks that customs is always a pain but really its gotten worse thanks to the "Patriot" Act. Bush our rights are gone.(Nothing Patirotic about that)

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OK, first off, I get it worse than that.; As many know, I work for a major U.S. Airline, so I get free, or heavily discounted air travel. I fly sometimes for business, some times for fun, sometimes I combine the 2 (o.k. enough bragging! :) ) Point is, I make it to LOS maybe 6-8 times a year, have been going for over 20 years...

 

The passed, maybe 6-8 or so, the searches keep getting worse. Last time was mellow, but I sliped through (more on that later). Time before, they went through every god damn thing, xrayed the suit cases(empty) my boxing gloves looked at tons of pictures and video...kept asking the same stupid questions over and over...

 

What got me was, I was pulled right out of line! not even my turn, I took my last bag off the carasaul, and the guy made a "b-line" for me. Asked how long I had been in Laos and had I been anywhere else...? What? I wasn't in Laos...then I figured it was the plastic type zip up bags I had that tipped him...was getting off a plane from Japan, a flight that originates in BKK...

 

Now keep in mind, these are the same damned chcukle fucks that do this every damned time..."...oh, you "kick box?" "Yes, don't you remember, you asked me all this last time...?" And "why do you go to Thailand so much?" "Because I can!"

 

One one trip, a seriously loaud, brash white trash looking guy with tatoos etc, and greasy hair and way too much power and attitude came over demanding to know if I had any pornography..."ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY NUDE PICTURES>>>?" "Just the ones I took of your mother!" (dumb move on my part) I got fed up with him, and demanded a supervisor. The issue was dealt with, and I made a formal complaint against the officer.

 

I have also made reports, in writing to Washington, and the port director in the city of entry. I encourage you do to the same. I now have a letter from the SFO port director explaining that if I am stopped, she is to me notified.

 

O.k. bottom line, I am a single male, I have an expensive camera, pro quality (I say braggingly) which for some reason looks suspicious, they assume I am a pro, and am there on business, which of course changes the import/duty free limits (lowers them). I get grilled on where I bought it, how much, why did I spend that much on "a hobby?" "do you have a passion/hobby you spend money on?" "yes, I like cars." "so you'd go spend $$$ on a set of headers or an exhaust manifold right? This is the same thing for me, o.k.?" That seems to shut them up.

 

O.k. I am rambling. Point is, the port director told me "certain countries are target countries for drugs and child pornography...so we target certain people arriving from those countries..." (notice she said "certain people" as in single men.

 

O.k. Last time and one other time, I arrived, and declared on my form (filled out on the plane) that I had food items, specifically meat, dried pork jerky and that Issaarn stuff. Other time I had seeds, packaged to grow chillies etc...I said I had them, and instead of any customs search, they sent me right to the agriculture line.

 

They made a quick scan of the bag, looked inside, confiscated the pork (sometimes they do, other times they say o.k.), examined a moon cake for whole eggs, and sent me on my way. I have heardof this working for others as well. Keep in mind, I am not bringing in anything I shoyuldn't be, but I just get tired of the 1 hour+ delay and all the bullshit.

 

So, maybe next time try admittinbg from the go you have food items, be ready to lose them. And hopefully, it will be the agriculture guys, and out the door.

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I fly business class Japan Air and frankly dont have a clue which terminal it is but I suspect its Bradley..

 

OH Ugh that sounds really bad. My trips( trip isn't really the right word as I have a life in LOS) are always combo business and pleasure/surf trips but the less they know about my business the better as far as I am concerned.Maybe I should just declare I am on business and have a reasonable story laid out. I have a part time business there selling art and no I am not importing anything illegal etc etc?

 

I like your agriculture twist/idea though THANKS!!!!!!

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Yeah Japan Air is in the Bradley terminal which is at the far west of the airport at the end of the loop,

 

I have had more trouble at the United terminal but I think they were realy looking for child porn when they looked thru my digital photos ,

at the end the guy was OK, but who knows what goes into your "file" to try and trip you up on your next return !

 

it probably bored them to see old cars and motorcycle pics

 

OC

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I have gotten the Customs search about 50% of the time. I now try to select agents (passport and customs) that are guys, maybe ex-military. The female agents are more likely to send you for customs inspection.

 

Once walking off the jetway I got selected for Ag inspection and then, after passport control, for customs inspection (female agent). I had to repack my bags TWICE. :cussing:

 

LAX, DTW, and MSP are all the same. The agent at DTW did the most through search (looking at recepts and reading notes). Pre and post 9/11, the searches and freq. of searches seems the same.

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I fly business class Japan Air and frankly dont have a clue which terminal it is but I suspect its Bradley..

 

OH Ugh that sounds really bad. My trips( trip isn't really the right word as I have a life in LOS) are always combo business and pleasure/surf trips but the less they know about my business the better as far as I am concerned.Maybe I should just declare I am on business and have a reasonable story laid out. I have a part time business there selling art and no I am not importing anything illegal etc etc?

 

I like your agriculture twist/idea though THANKS!!!!!!

 

Don't mention you do business there. That can open you up to many MORE questions. Like why do you have a tourist visa?

 

The Ag thing will not work. The customs agents can get you as you're walking to the Ag station. The passport agent can also put a "C" on the card.

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