sayjann Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jw_marryrit Posted December 18, 2011 Report Share Posted December 18, 2011 A few years ago I read a joke on the board (or was it a story) about a guy who took 2 VN BG's back to his room for some light entertainment. Well turns out someone also invited a mouse and the story went down hill from there....included Golf Clubs, some screaming and also a comment "that is not a mouse , it is a rat". Anyone have a copy of the story? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to the charity shop to get all her clothes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man replies "Well, the sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of their bomber jackets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Munchmaster Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in but I could only use it for about half an hour as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It provides me with everything I need - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian2 Posted December 21, 2011 Report Share Posted December 21, 2011 I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse. My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists? I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening." The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back. At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa! Who knew? One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that aborigines is not the correct answer either. There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets. You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools. A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache." Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook.. I said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4,000 f**king Muslims have added me as a friend! Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard." The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted December 22, 2011 Report Share Posted December 22, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i021HwxAyfw&feature=share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flashermac Posted December 25, 2011 Report Share Posted December 25, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian2 Posted December 25, 2011 Report Share Posted December 25, 2011 Ten years ago I'd have laughed at that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now