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An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other

for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally

time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a

long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed

finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided

it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

 

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

 

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

 

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned

over towards her and whispered -

 

'Is that one word or two?'

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On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

 

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!†she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of s.x in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??â€

 

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

 

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,†he says. He was gorgeous – tall, muscular, and had long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her. He tosses his shirt to her and whispers: “Iron this.â€

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A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

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