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  • 2 weeks later...

I picked up a hitchhiker yesterday. He said “thanks for picking me up but how do you know I’m not a serial killer?†I replied “the odds of two serial killer’s being in the same car are statistically astronomical".

 

I asked my wife what women really want. She said, "Attentive lovers"... or maybe she said "a tent full of lovers" I really wasn't listening.

 

Vacation Health Tip: sitting in a beach pub provides more skin protection than 100 SPF sunblock...

 

I was eating dinner last night at a restaurant and a waiter yelled "Anyone know CPR?" I yelled out "I know the entire alphabet" and we all laughed... well except for that one guy.

 

I look both ways before crossing a one-way street. That’s how much faith I have left in humanity.

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