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World worse joke (IMHO)

 

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink.  The bartender places the drink in front of him and turns back to other duties.  Before the man could have his first sip a little monkey comes out from under the bar, goes to his drink, lifts his penis and dips his balls in the drink, then runs back under the bar.

The man called the barkeep over and asked him " Did you know there is a little monkey that came out from under the bar, lifted his penis, and dipped his balls in my drink?"

"Sorry", said the bartender, "he does that sometimes, let me get you a fresh drink, free of charge".

The bartender sets the man up with the new drink and turns to a new customer.  Again, before the man could have his first sip, the little monkey hops up from under the bar, runs to his drink, lifts his penis up, and dips his balls in the drink.

The customer calls the barkeep over and says, "I'm not angry, but curious, why is there a monkey that hops up on the bar, lifts his penis, and dips his balls in my drink?".  The bartender says, "I'm somewhat new here, so not sure but Jack, the piano player over there has been here 20 years so should know".

The customer, who is by know really curious, walks across the bar to the piano player who, luckily, is on a break.

"Say", asks the customer to the piano player, "Do you know that little monkey that hops up on the bar, lifts his penis, and dips his balls in my drink?"

The piano player thought for a second and said, "No, but if you hum a few bars I probably can play it".

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An Irishman and a Muslim are sat next to each other on a flight.

The stewardess comes up and asks the Irish man if he'd like a drink. He orders a whiskey and the stewardess hands it to him.

The stewardess then asks the Muslim if he'd like a drink. "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!" he shouts back.

The Irishman calmly hands his whiskey back to the stewardess and says "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice".

 

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