Jump to content

Any New Jokes


Recommended Posts

Jokes to offend everyone!




A Tasmanian couple was walking out of the divorce court, the wife crying her heart out.


Her ex-husband said, "Oh for fuck's sake stop crying. You're still my sister."




My wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.


She said she wanted to come back as a pig.


I said, "You're not listening"




Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan, told them I was suicidal.


They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.




I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.


I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the aisle backwards, gets in the car and fucks off.




A car bomb was found outside Lakemba Mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it inside the mosque.




A woman went into a shoe shop and saw a gorgeous pair of white stilettos. She asked what are they made of.


The assistant said they were made from human skin and cost $1500.00 a pair.


The woman said she couldn't afford that.


The assistant said, "Don't worry. We have them in black for $4.99."




A woman was in labour, screaming, "Get this out of me, give me drugs."


She turned to her husband and said, "You did this to me, you son of a bitch!"


He replied, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'Fuck off, it'll be too painful.' Now who's complaining?"



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Create New...