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I'm fairly sure this has been posted before, but I like it. :grinyes:


A man checked into a hotel in Auckland while on a business trip and was a bit lonely.


He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.


So he popped into a phone booth in Albert Street near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs...... well, you get the picture! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel.


When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.


'Hello,' the woman says.


God, she sounded sexy.


'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one.. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.. Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'


She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 1 for an outside line.'


It took three hours for him to get the courage to Checkout next morning.

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This guy walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache". His wife, still lying in bed looks up. "If I may correct you dear. That is a sheep". The guy replies "If I may correct you dear. I wasn't talking to you".

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A woman asks her doctor "How many calories are in cum?" The doctor replies "If you swallow, no bloke will care that your fat!"



A lesbian went to weight watchers and the organiser said, 'Remember you are what you eat', the lesbian replied, 'You calling me a cunt?'




I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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Little girl stuck in fence.


Firemen and police from the Patchogue, N.Y. area, all joined in a team effort to rescue a young girl stuck in steel fence. It took several hours to extract her from her predicament.


Fire Chief Klug said, 'This was a pretty tough rescue, it took us quite a while to come up with a plan to safely extract her from the fence.'



Although the girl's entrapment was never life threatening it did take careful planning and gentle handling to safely remove her.




She was taken to an area hospital where she was examined and released.


Poor thing, this picture just about broke my heart.


God bless those great police and firemen. Heroes, one and all….

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