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Any New Jokes

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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.

 

"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

 

"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.

 

"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."

 

"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"

 

"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got some duct tape and taped my cock to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show".

 

"Sensible" says Jeff.

 

"So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, negligee you ever saw."

 

"And what happened then?" said Jeff

 

"I kicked her in the face."

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A Scot is the only man on earth who would step over the bodies of a dozen bronzed naked beauties just to get to a glass of whiskey.

 

 

I will have heaps during the World Cup :neener:

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