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Any New Jokes


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Hi,

 

"Two blokes looking in a mens clothing shop window at a shirt -

 

"That's the one I'd get" says one bloke, and Cyclops came round the corner and punched his head in... "

 

Ok, can someone please explain this one? I have absolutely no idea what this is about.

 

Sanuk!

 

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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

 

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

 

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston ."

 

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

 

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

 

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

 

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

 

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

 

"Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Jewish men who are the best.

 

"I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

 

Suddenly the woman became a little! uncomfortable and blushed.

 

"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

 

"Running Bear," the man said, "Running Bear Goldberg. But my friends call me Bubba."

 

 

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A Scotsman walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open." This is not a phrase we Scotsmen normally use so he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.

 

When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping. He then intentionally got in the line to check out where the lady was who told him about his "barracks door." He was planning to have a little fun with her. When he reached her counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open did you see a Scottish soldier standing in there at attention?"

 

The lady thought for a moment and said, "No, no. I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two duffle bags!!! .

 

 

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