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The game show “Hollywood Squares†was famous for spontaneous unrehearsed responses. Here are some of the most memorable. Host Peter Marshall was asking the questions.

 

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?

A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

 

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?

A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

 

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it OK to come out directly and ask him if he’s married?

A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

 

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

 

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I love you?â€

A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

 

Q: What are “Do Itâ€, “I Can Help†and “Can’t Get Enoughâ€?

A: George Goebel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next apartment.

 

Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?

A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

 

Q: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?

A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

 

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?

A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

 

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

 

Q: True or false: a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A: George Goebel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?

A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

 

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

 

Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!†What does that mean?

A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

 

Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?

A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

 

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?

A: George Goebel: Get it in his mouth.

 

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?

A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie “What’s The Matter With Helen?†Who plays Helen?

A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver; that’s why they asked the question.

 

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?

A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

 

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

 

Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.†What was it?

A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.

 

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

 

Q: Do female frogs croak?

A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

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