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Any New Jokes

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A suicide bomber died and went to Paradise, as foretold.

 

On arrival, he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his 72 virgins, as promised. Out of curiosity, he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.

Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because people like you killed them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. And since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous and, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty. And if you fail, I shall banish you from Paradise.

The bomber responded, "I think I can handle that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied?"

Allah replied, "Who told you they were women?"

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When the Welshman said, "That was my fantasy" it wasn’t about being knocked out the 2018 World Cup qualifiers. Someone had drunk his soda.

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