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Where's the most stupid place you've taken a Piss?


teddy

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In Australia in my bedroom at home I have an ensuite to the left of the bed with a door that springs shut. On a business trip I stayed in a motel/ gastro fine dining pub. The room I was in was almost a replica of my bedroom at home - except the bathroom was towards the foot of the bed - the entrance door was to the left of my bed. The entrance door was one of those magnetic card locked spring doors. I sleep in the nude.

 

Before going to sleep it was a wild night - the bill was on expenses and my collegues and I were ordering $100 bottles of wine, spirits, brandies and apertifs. I don't remember going to bed. What I do remember is waking up naked having pissed on the wall and fine carpet copiously opposite my room with no way of getting back in. I'd thought I was at home and kind of slept walked to the toilet. I'd woken up when I realised I couldn't get back into my room. My boss was staying two doors down so I contemplated knocking on his door - but no that didn't seem like a good thing to do so I went for a walk down the hallway and out an exit door - which promptly locked behind me. I was on the street stark naked. Luckily it was about 3am and I'd grabbed a couple of handfuls of leaves from some thorny bush to try to not get arrested for indecent exposure and just thought this is not for fucking real. A security guard on patrol spotted me and took mercy on me - and let me back into my room - he couldn't stop laughing - said he'd seen me the night before and said "man you are something else!". Not knowing quite sure what he meant, but then I dimly remembered I'd been dancing with two of the bar maids at some point - and evenly dimly remember trying to drag one back to my room.......

 

Noone mentioned the piss stain on the carpet or wall...

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I have a friend who is epileptic. He has been on drugs since he was about 12 to control it. Every now and then he will forget to take them. The problem then is he may sleep walk (psychomotor seizure)! He says he has no idea of what he is doing, but is quite capable of getting around in "zombie mode". When he was a university student, he awakened one night to find himself in the middle of a park about half a mile from his campus. He was wearing only his y-fronts (jockey shorts). Somehow he had made his way out of his room, down the stairs and out of the dorm - all without being noticed. He had an interesting time making his way back to the dorm as the sun started to rise and people began to notice him. That's a bit worse than pissing on a wall. :p

 

My own "stupidest place" would have to be in the men's room of a Thai nightclub decades ago. As the Thais put it, my stomach suddenly "started walking". I headed for the loo, only to find that it was one of those idiotic men's rooms that only have urinals. No place to take a dump! I looked around the room in panic and then used the only place available - the waste basket. I quickly got out of there before anyone else came in, but really WTF did they think a guy was supposed to do? I couldn't very well go barging into the women's room and time was of the essence. :doah:

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