Miss X update...

[Old Hippie]

"...I'm just saying that you tell someone close to you; not put a billboard up outside your house! Obviously don't tell someone you can't trust..."

 

Point is, family may not be as cool as you think, and you could find it being the source of problems...getting shunned, cut out of wills etc...and even in families, how do you know you can trust them to be cool with it? people change when it is their kid, for better or worse.

 

:...Anyhow to take your bank robber analogy - people can change. They may never run the local PTA for the reasons you suggest, but at least they can stop robbing banks..."

 

Yes, true, people can and do change, but the assholes judging them do not. Society has a major issue with holding the passed against people.

 

"...Would you personally block a Thai woman that used to be a prostitute over 10 years ago from becoming a president of your PTA? I suggest you give this more than a moment of thought because it will tell you just how much of a hypocrite you are..."

 

Me personally? maybe, maybe not...I did vote for Carol Doda when she ran for city council...(pardon the SFO reference). But face it, the guys on this board are not society as a whole. Some of us are hypocritical about all of this, so what? Hypocracy is a part of life we are all guilty of, even you, get used to it.

 

]Now, a bigger issue...going to have kids? o.k. say you tell you family your Mrs. was a hooker, and a sister in law, or other jealous bitch has a bug up her twat with that, and then blabs to others (YOU CAN NOT KEEP SECRETS EVEN IN THE BEST OF FAMILIES) Do you want others to know the mother of your kids was a whore? what about other kids using this info against them...this is not just about you and the Mrs, this is about you, your kids and all involved...

 

As I said, they will think what they want anyway, why hand them the ammo to shot you in the ass with? As I said, others I know who decided to tell all later regretted it.

 

[HeartThais]

This whole topic has spurred me to think just how hypocritical a lot of it's members here are.

 

Oh really? The people who advise keeping this a secret are doing so for the benefit of the woman and the child as much as for themselves. They are taking the interests of the family as a whole. They are also taking the interests of the farang side of the family by offering a shield of plausible denial.

 

You, on the other hand, seem self-absorbed with what would be "best" for the husband, relegating the woman to the position of fuckbuddy and rendering the child completely insignificant. Who's being hypocritical again?

[Pescator]

I agree.

I consider it a misguided honesty in this situation.

If both adults are cool with it, well up to them, but with kids one may very well jeopardize their future. The stigma attached to having an ex-hooker mum will not be graciously overlooked by class mates etc, should they ever find out.

[panadolsandwich]

"...I'm just saying that you tell someone close to you; not put a billboard up outside your house! Obviously don't tell someone you can't trust..."

 

Point is, family may not be as cool as you think, and you could find it being the source of problems...getting shunned, cut out of wills etc...and even in families, how do you know you can trust them to be cool with it? people change when it is their kid, for better or worse.

 

:...Anyhow to take your bank robber analogy - people can change. They may never run the local PTA for the reasons you suggest, but at least they can stop robbing banks..."

 

Yes, true, people can and do change, but the assholes judging them do not. Society has a major issue with holding the passed against people.

 

"...Would you personally block a Thai woman that used to be a prostitute over 10 years ago from becoming a president of your PTA? I suggest you give this more than a moment of thought because it will tell you just how much of a hypocrite you are..."

 

Me personally? maybe, maybe not...I did vote for Carol Doda when she ran for city council...(pardon the SFO reference). But face it, the guys on this board are not society as a whole. Some of us are hypocritical about all of this, so what? Hypocracy is a part of life we are all guilty of, even you, get used to it.

 

]Now, a bigger issue...going to have kids? o.k. say you tell you family your Mrs. was a hooker, and a sister in law, or other jealous bitch has a bug up her twat with that, and then blabs to others (YOU CAN NOT KEEP SECRETS EVEN IN THE BEST OF FAMILIES) Do you want others to know the mother of your kids was a whore? what about other kids using this info against them...this is not just about you and the Mrs, this is about you, your kids and all involved...

 

As I said, they will think what they want anyway, why hand them the ammo to shot you in the ass with? As I said, others I know who decided to tell all later regretted it.

 

You're obviously worried about the impact on you, rather than the mental well being of any wife or said kids.

 

Don't think things are as bad as you imagine it with regards the society reaction. It's a big bad world out there - and unless you come from the most rural of places, I'm afraid you're shit out of luck with regard to actually deciding what people should think.

 

Also there is a case to build that being forthright will save you much antagonism in the future. Still, it's your grave.

[panadolsandwich]

This whole topic has spurred me to think just how hypocritical a lot of it's members here are.

 

Oh really? The people who advise keeping this a secret are doing so for the benefit of the woman and the child as much as for themselves. They are taking the interests of the family as a whole. They are also taking the interests of the farang side of the family by offering a shield of plausible denial.

 

You' date=' on the other hand, seem self-absorbed with what would be "best" for the husband, relegating the woman to the position of fuckbuddy and rendering the child completely insignificant. Who's being hypocritical again?[/quote']

 

I'm very curious how you come to these conclusions. If anything I'm promoting the woman as an object to love and cherish, with the component of truth. I fail to see how you can even *begin* to criticize me for that!

 

[ChristianTroy]

Wait guys, it is about receiving an advice! One good thing definitely is to have a friend you can trust, discuss with him the stereotypes of Thai hookers and put it in context with her behavior!

 

Sometimes on this board things are discussed why too theoretical and there is no balance in the point of views because usually there is nothing wrong with making a foreign girls a visa when you have feelings for her, the situation changes when this foreign girl is a 3rd world country prostitute, you might wanna discuss it with a really good friend that you can trust, maybe even someone who wakes you up. Got it? It makes a giant difference who she is and where she comes from and not discussing it with your best friend is simply stupid.

 

It has nothing to do with political correctness but it has everything to do with your future!

[Snowman71]

Even though I can see some minor benefits in it, I know for 100% sure that I won't EVER be telling anyone about her past. I just don't think that will give us a chance in such a small-ish community. It's gonna be hard enough as things are, isn't it ?

 

She's worked in a factory before...that will do for "what did you do in Thialind, Miss x ?" No need for her to lie (as such) and no need to "remember" cover stories on my behalf.

 

Let's just ommit the hard part.

 

Ihe irony of all this is that I met her whoring. It's why I've promised her I'd never chuck it back at her in a heated moment...

 

Snowman71...

[Old Hippie]

"...I'm just saying that you tell someone close to you; not put a billboard up outside your house! Obviously don't tell someone you can't trust..."

 

Point is' date=' family may not be as cool as you think, and you could find it being the source of problems...getting shunned, cut out of wills etc...and even in families, how do you know you can trust them to be cool with it? people change when it is their kid, for better or worse.

 

:...Anyhow to take your bank robber analogy - people can change. They may never run the local PTA for the reasons you suggest, but at least they can stop robbing banks..."

 

Yes, true, people can and do change, but the assholes judging them do not. Society has a major issue with holding the passed against people.

 

"...Would you personally block a Thai woman that used to be a prostitute over 10 years ago from becoming a president of your PTA? I suggest you give this more than a moment of thought because it will tell you just how much of a hypocrite you are..."

 

Me personally? maybe, maybe not...I did vote for Carol Doda when she ran for city council...(pardon the SFO reference). But face it, the guys on this board are not society as a whole. Some of us are hypocritical about all of this, so what? Hypocracy is a part of life we are all guilty of, even you, get used to it.

 

']Now, a bigger issue...going to have kids? o.k. say you tell you family your Mrs. was a hooker, and a sister in law, or other jealous bitch has a bug up her twat with that, and then blabs to others (YOU CAN NOT KEEP SECRETS EVEN IN THE BEST OF FAMILIES) Do you want others to know the mother of your kids was a whore? what about other kids using this info against them...this is not just about you and the Mrs, this is about you, your kids and all involved...

 

As I said, they will think what they want anyway, why hand them the ammo to shot you in the ass with? As I said, others I know who decided to tell all later regretted it.

 

You're obviously worried about the impact on you, rather than the mental well being of any wife or said kids.

 

Don't think things are as bad as you imagine it with regards the society reaction. It's a big bad world out there - and unless you come from the most rural of places, I'm afraid you're shit out of luck with regard to actually deciding what people should think.

 

Also there is a case to build that being forthright will save you much antagonism in the future. Still, it's your grave.

 

 

This post makes no sense. OK kid, you seem a bit adversarial with all of us trying to help you, and YOU ASKED US. It has a bit to do with protecting "ME" for sure, but also protecting my kids and wife. WHy you can't grasp this concept is beyond me, unles you are just trolling?

 

What we say is based on Our experiences. What experience...? ok, just the few dozen people I/we know who did what you are proposing with disastrous results, they ultimately regretted. Add to this, the people I know here at the Thai temples/community who whisper behind the girl/couple's back. Add to this, Thais/Farangs who look down on Bar girls, former or other wise, and you are asking for trouble, but as you say, "your grave." You asked for our advise, now you want to take a hostile stance...no pleasing you it seems.

 

[Snowman71]

Are you referring to me being adversarial, OH ? Cos none of the quotes in your post are mine.

 

I've genuinely thrown my situation out and taken in all I've heard in return. It's an experience I am a total novice in and I've thanked people on several occasions for their obsevrations.

 

Snowman71...

[Old Hippie]

No, Not you, The guy I was replying to.