ChristianTroy Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 No, Not you, The guy I was replying to. You were replying to the wrong guy, Snowman was the guy with the questions and Panadol the one with he advice! Classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartThais Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 This whole topic has spurred me to think just how hypocritical a lot of it's members here are. Oh really? The people who advise keeping this a secret are doing so for the benefit of the woman and the child as much as for themselves. They are taking the interests of the family as a whole. They are also taking the interests of the farang side of the family by offering a shield of plausible denial. You' date=' on the other hand, seem self-absorbed with what would be "best" for the husband, relegating the woman to the position of fuckbuddy and rendering the child completely insignificant. Who's being hypocritical again?[/quote'] I'm very curious how you come to these conclusions. If anything I'm promoting the woman as an object to love and cherish, with the component of truth. I fail to see how you can even *begin* to criticize me for that! There is only one plausible reason for telling your friend/family. And it's not to get advice. What advice can you possibly receive that you wouldn't have already considered? If you marry a hooker it's because you see something in her that no one else possibly could. The only reason you would tell a friend is so you don't have to go through the situation alone. Well, that's chickenshit IMO. As I've said earlier, you're preoccupied with what would make you (not the OP as he has the sense to keep his trap shut) more comfortable while sacrificing the wife and child. The idea that you are preventing a bigger catastrophe later on makes no sense. Sorry, but if you marry a hooker with a child, you need to be a big boy and do what's right for them. Part of that may mean bearing that cross on your own. Life is not an afterschool special. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panadolsandwich Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 "...I'm just saying that you tell someone close to you; not put a billboard up outside your house! Obviously don't tell someone you can't trust..." Point is' date=' family may not be as cool as you think, and you could find it being the source of problems...getting shunned, cut out of wills etc...and even in families, how do you know you can trust them to be cool with it? people change when it is their kid, for better or worse. :...Anyhow to take your bank robber analogy - people can change. They may never run the local PTA for the reasons you suggest, but at least they can stop robbing banks..." Yes, true, people can and do change, but the assholes judging them do not. Society has a major issue with holding the passed against people. "...Would you personally block a Thai woman that used to be a prostitute over 10 years ago from becoming a president of your PTA? I suggest you give this more than a moment of thought because it will tell you just how much of a hypocrite you are..." Me personally? maybe, maybe not...I did vote for Carol Doda when she ran for city council...(pardon the SFO reference). But face it, the guys on this board are not society as a whole. Some of us are hypocritical about all of this, so what? Hypocracy is a part of life we are all guilty of, even you, get used to it. ']Now, a bigger issue...going to have kids? o.k. say you tell you family your Mrs. was a hooker, and a sister in law, or other jealous bitch has a bug up her twat with that, and then blabs to others (YOU CAN NOT KEEP SECRETS EVEN IN THE BEST OF FAMILIES) Do you want others to know the mother of your kids was a whore? what about other kids using this info against them...this is not just about you and the Mrs, this is about you, your kids and all involved... As I said, they will think what they want anyway, why hand them the ammo to shot you in the ass with? As I said, others I know who decided to tell all later regretted it. You're obviously worried about the impact on you, rather than the mental well being of any wife or said kids. Don't think things are as bad as you imagine it with regards the society reaction. It's a big bad world out there - and unless you come from the most rural of places, I'm afraid you're shit out of luck with regard to actually deciding what people should think. Also there is a case to build that being forthright will save you much antagonism in the future. Still, it's your grave. This post makes no sense. OK kid, you seem a bit adversarial with all of us trying to help you, and YOU ASKED US. It has a bit to do with protecting "ME" for sure, but also protecting my kids and wife. WHy you can't grasp this concept is beyond me, unles you are just trolling? What we say is based on Our experiences. What experience...? ok, just the few dozen people I/we know who did what you are proposing with disastrous results, they ultimately regretted. Add to this, the people I know here at the Thai temples/community who whisper behind the girl/couple's back. Add to this, Thais/Farangs who look down on Bar girls, former or other wise, and you are asking for trouble, but as you say, "your grave." You asked for our advise, now you want to take a hostile stance...no pleasing you it seems. Ok sorry about the hostile stance - I need to knock it down an ebb or two. I accept what you are saying; now it turns out the OP is saying the same thing. So I can't argue with that of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
panadolsandwich Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 This whole topic has spurred me to think just how hypocritical a lot of it's members here are. Oh really? The people who advise keeping this a secret are doing so for the benefit of the woman and the child as much as for themselves. They are taking the interests of the family as a whole. They are also taking the interests of the farang side of the family by offering a shield of plausible denial. You' date=' on the other hand, seem self-absorbed with what would be "best" for the husband, relegating the woman to the position of fuckbuddy and rendering the child completely insignificant. Who's being hypocritical again?[/quote'] I'm very curious how you come to these conclusions. If anything I'm promoting the woman as an object to love and cherish, with the component of truth. I fail to see how you can even *begin* to criticize me for that! There is only one plausible reason for telling your friend/family. And it's not to get advice. What advice can you possibly receive that you wouldn't have already considered? If you marry a hooker it's because you see something in her that no one else possibly could. The only reason you would tell a friend is so you don't have to go through the situation alone. Well, that's chickenshit IMO. As I've said earlier, you're preoccupied with what would make you (not the OP as he has the sense to keep his trap shut) more comfortable while sacrificing the wife and child. The idea that you are preventing a bigger catastrophe later on makes no sense. Sorry, but if you marry a hooker with a child, you need to be a big boy and do what's right for them. Part of that may mean bearing that cross on your own. Life is not an afterschool special. The chickenshit thing is doing nothing and not preempting the whole situation. If you were truly courageous you would accept that. Instead you would rather hide the whole thing behind grandma's skirts and pretend that nothing ever happened! And you call me chickenshit! Life is indeed not an afterschool special - but precisely for the opposite of the reasons you stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Dog Posted May 30, 2007 Report Share Posted May 30, 2007 Read what I wrote again Panadol, I suggested she SHOULD and COULD be a good member of PTA however others may use it against her. Given that all families fight at times, best never give them amunition, no idea who might say something stupid in the heat of a moment then regret it. Shouldn't SHE decide who she tells and doesn;t tell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowman71 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Well, chaps. I'm getting married on March 16th in Chaiyaphum. 300 guests from her village and 5 from the UK with me. Luckily enough my mate has paid for me to fly Business Class as a wedding present too ! The last six months have been cool with me making it out three times to LOS and we are now ready to take the plunge. I had the courage to tell my best female friend that Miss X had been a FL for 4/5 years and she, having four kids herself, said: "I would do ANYTHING for my kids so I understand. Hell knows I've given it away enough for free so who gives a fuck ???" Miss X has now been on a Thai Massage Course for 6 weeks and has about a month to go. I already have various Gyms and Salons agree to allow her to see genuine clients (yes, I know ) and we've agreed a 75/25 % split of the £ 50 an hour fee. All I'm worried about is the Marriage Visa now. Fuck knows why but I'm not looking forward to leaving my WIFE behind at BKK Airport. I'm sure some of you will see me as crazy...some maybe not but I'm 37 and feel that some things are worth taking a chance on. Err...that's it really. Other than to say I'm having my satg do in BKK on friday 14th March if anyone fancies a beer... Snowman71... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bust Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 I guess if your happy that's all that matters. Good luck and I hope everything goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torneyboy Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Yes ..all the best :thumbup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentors Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 4 kids? good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowman71 Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 Whoops. Poor grammar. Miss X has two kids, 8yrs and 10yrs. A pair of diamonds to be honest. Four kids would be a bridge too far for me, I'm afraid... Snowman71... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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