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Warning to everyone, HIV test came back positive...


junglesoup
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Junglesoup,

 

I am sincerely sorry to hear of your recent troubles.

 

Your post comes at a time when I most needed a wake up call, something that would jar me back into some type of reality. I thank you for having the courage to share so openly what is perhaps the most private, personal circumstance a man has to face these days.

 

I can only hope that you are looking into some type of long term approach to the 'madness' that accompanies this type of news. Surely NONE of us here would be prepared for the ebb and flow of emotion you are feeling.

 

I embrace your courage in posting this as a help to myself and others. I am blown away by your ability to maintain a sense of humor in the face of the enormous changes you will be faced with. I am a very selfish person who often convinces himself that there is no universally applied definition for what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'. It has never been more clear to me than right this minute that I am leading a life rife with 'wrong'. I have wondered aloud several times today if I would have the ability to stand tough against a blow this severe.

 

There are no doubt rough times ahead for you. Your life will continually transition through the physical and mental realm. I do not know if I could persevere.

 

Your selfless strength of 'leading by example' in sharing. A willingness to put 'helping others' ahead of 'worry' and 'self doubt'. The ability to share the facts so clearly when even the strongest among us would be mentally twisted and fatigued. I do not know you, but I believe I know what you are about in the broadest of terms.

 

I will get up from my desk and have a good look at myself and how I live in the mirror. I too will need to make some changes. I invite you to have a look in the mirror as well. There you will see a survivor. Someone made of all the good stuff that needs to be summoned to get through this test.

 

I wish you the best and am in awe of your candidness, mental fortitude, and the ability to stand in the face of despair and all the while continue to be yourself. You are going to be fine, just fine.

 

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Shit, really sorry to hear this news junglesoup, hope everything goes okay for you here on in. :thumbup:

 

Thanks for sharing, it is indeed a wake-up call for many of us, myself included. Had an instance of drunken unprotected just recently... :sad: ...plus a condom broke on Soi 6 bargirl the other day, left me wondering...

 

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Somebody wrote:

 

"Use condoms properly with adequate lubrication to prevent breakage and the chances of catching HIV are negligible."

 

Just so the message is not lost: Any odds may seem negligible until you catch it.

 

Also as mentioned in JS's OP and in Free2Fly's post above, being drunk or stoned and around scuzzy women is a recipe for disaster.

 

It used to be that a diagnosis of HIV was a death sentence. In the last several years in the developed world, its more like a chronic condition for many. That doesn't make it any less of a tragedy, and any less devastating to to one's self-image and view of the future -just "less physically lethal."

 

If you think the chances are negligible, then you have not read up on the subject enough, or you have not lived though AIDS with a loved one (yet).

 

Be careful out there.

 

Thanks again, JS, for the reminder. It can happen to anyone, even those who aren't punters.

 

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Thanks again for everyones kind words. There are too many people to thank.

Buddha, that was a real lovely speech. Whatever downward spiral you ve been in...hopefully your on your way to pulling yourself out of it...take care of yourself...my problem was bein an alco. Thats what started this chain reaction. That stuff(alcohol) makes you feel indestructable...but in the sober light of day we arent.I m not feeling sorry for myself anymore. Theres no point. Just going to get on with it...thanks again

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JS,

 

I'm sorry to hear this. Best of luck and good health for the future. And thanks for having the courage to post this personal problem. It might help some stop and think a bit. I have a close cousin who is +, and a friend as well. I also know a couple others who are +. All are in good health using the meds the health care givers have now for keeping their viral loads nearly at zero. And almost every week some new info comes out about new meds being made by the pharma companies for this damn disease. I like your attitude. Keep that going and even if you have some down periods you'll do fine. And I agree, alcohol lets us take risks we really might not do if sober. And yes, I speak from experience. Stay strong.

 

Best of luck JungleSoup.

 

Cent

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Sorry, just noticed, that this post was from 2005. Must have been reanimated after you posted this one.

 

Not to mention I posted this on the second page and said it was from 2 years ago. There is something to be said for reading a discussion before joining it :smirk:

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